A Sort'a Something in the Cornfield

“There's something in the cornfield...”

“The shotgun’s in the closet, sweetheart. Go show ‘em what’s what.”

“There’s something out there! Wake up!”

“Sheila, darling, for the love of God, it’s four in the morning!”

“It's in our cornfield, Chuck!!”

“Was it a baseball team? Was it Shoeless Joe Jackson? That would be really cool if Shoeless Joe Jackson is in our cornfield!”

“Listen to me! I was getting water, I was in the kitchen, I was getting water and I heard this strange, I don’t’ know, this strange…, and I went out to the porch, and saw, like… I don’t know. I didn’t really see it see it, but there is something out there, Chuck. I swear to you!”

“Okay, look Sheila, first off, calm down. Secondly, and this is important...”

“What?”

“This thing you saw?”

“What?”

“Did you happen to notice if it was wearing any shoes?”

“Oh, my sweet Jesus!”

"Did it have a baseball glove?"

"I can't believe--"

"Sheila, come on, you're always thinking there's something in our cornfield."

“Chuck!”

“Okay! I’ll go check.”

“This time I really saw something!”

“Relax darling, I’m going!”

“Then go!”

“Ouch! That hurt, Sheila!”

“We’re all going to die while you make jokes!”

“We’re not going to die.”

“Just… Please!”

“I’m putting on my pants. Here we go, pants are on, and here we go, here we go. Okay… I’m in the kitchen. I’m standing at the window. . .”

“Do you see it?”

“No. I don’t see--Wait!”

“Do you see something?”

“Holly crap!”

“If you tell me it’s Babe Ruth, I’m going to kill you!”

“I mean, holly crap!”

“What is it?”

“You’re not going to believe this, Sheila.

“Tell me!”

“It’s Ty Cobb!”

“I hate you, Charles Pavey! I hate you; I hate you; I hate you!”

“I really thought he’d be taller.”

“What are you doing? Don’t come back in here!”

“My sweet, darling sugarplum—Ouch!

“Go sleep with Babe Ruth.”

“Ty Cobb!”

“Whatever.”

--327 Words--