Questions of a Troubled Mind

why do I feel like this
the constant need for attention
distraction perfection
deflection inspection
unstill yet unmoving
unable to progress
but wanting to improve
be new be bright
be the stars
in everyone's night
my light is dim but still
I go and push
while me
the part that needs to be
held tight and safe is weak
unstable unlabeled
yet known to be troubled
and doubled in expectation
maybe even tripled to exhaustion