Homecoming

He fit in my hand,
the tiny tyke with oxygen attached like a leash
he was still red with a purple undertone I didn't like
newly home he still seemed sick
suddenly, his breathing stopped
the monitor screams, piercing the air
I rip off his clothes
and begin infant CPR
unaware of my surroundings I focus on that tiny chest and rosebud mouth
Breathe... breathe... breathe...
A man says I'll take him and he begins the lifegiving breaths
and I step aside, relieved
tears run silently down my face
Hours later, he was back in the NICU ventilated once again