Beyond The Blue Walls

I didn't feel right in this world, 5 words no one one said. Wrote a song from the broken pieces of my life no one knew. I always felt like there had been a shadow on my back. Some sort of shadow is always there, whispering hate into my ears. I could never get away.


The gentle light of sun peeked through the window's tainted glass. I walked to the bathroom. Brushed my teeth and combed back my hair that sprung up like cotton. I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my bag, and ran out the door. I loved walking. Feeling the sun on my back and the blow of the cool breeze gently blowing on my face. I pulled out my headphones and played a song, feeling my feet soon slow into a pace, bouncing on my feet to the rhythm of the song. I closed my eyes, feeling the ground beneath me. The thin layer of frost that lay over the plants slowly felted, condensing into little drops of dew and feel from the leaves. Skipping down the walk I opened my eyes, squinting from the sun. Leaves flew in the breeze and I watched as the houses and colors ran into a blur. Reaching school, however, my warm mood sank into my feelings and my head lowered down. I walked down the halls, pushing and shouldering my way past people as I tried to make it to my locker. Arriving in my first class, I sat down, hunching my head over my desk, trying to focus although the stairs of other students pierced through me. I heard them whisper. It must have been me again. I looked down at my desk, covering my head with my hands. I wasn't very popular in school. In Fact not a lot of people liked me. I had no friends. My family was always working or arguing. Sometimes I just felt like bad luck. Every time we did a trivia, my guess for a number or box would be incorrect. Every time I stepped into school I felt the dark clouds of thoughts pile over my head. I hid my face and tried to blur out the voices of others, focusing on the teacher's lecture but I couldn't focus. The words and thoughts around me all became a blur of colors, thoughts, and sounds.

I felt a thud against my back and turned around to see a piece of crumpled paper thrown on the floor beside me. “ Oh, sorry.” The people at my desk behind me mumbled although the corners of their mouths still drawn in a small smile led to their lies. I turned back only to be hit with more paper. I snapped and shouted. “ Weirdo!” I heard another kid shout from behind. I hid my face under my arms, holding back the wet tears that hid behind my puffy eyes. I looked down at my desk trying to calm myself only to see an idiot with an arrow pointing towards me written on my desk in pen. I heard a few kids snicker in the back again. I felt my eyes well up and pushed my chair back, throwing my papers off my desk and bolting out into the hallway. I ran, tears flying down my face. I was sick. Sick of the hate. Of the constant pressure. I felt trapped. And so I ran. Running down the hallways as the laughs of other students rang in my ears. Bursting out of the dors I bolted down the sidewalk. Down past houses till I finally stopped at the end of a street.

Out of breath, I gulped in the air. Looking up I found myself at a fence. It was strange. Over the fence was what appeared to be a forest; an old abandoned play structure sitting to rust behind the fence. Cation, and do not enter had been taped over the fence and the gate had been locked. And yet there I stood. My curiosity taunted me to go over the rusty chain fence. I felt it calling to me. I stood at the edge of the forest. A line between 2 worlds separated by time and space. On one side, I stood; in a world of lights and buildings that towered over cloudy skies. On the other side lay something else thought: Something much bigger. It was like a dream world. Deceiving to the eye. An old place one filled with joy now left to be forgotten. I wanted to go further; I felt my mind craving more than what I saw from behind this fence. I clambered up the fence and jumped down. Taking one step, then the other. Many others had not stepped into these words. Here we were, the world, the human race, the brave and yet we still fear what we don't know. What we don't understand. Live on, be yourself is what they told us, and yet it was as if the chains of our society held an indestructible bond. I closed my eyes and then opened them again. I was in another world. Another place. Looking down at the ground was as if it had become a part of me. The earth is filled with the colors of blues, purples, and blacks. I awed, gazing at the orange and starburst skyes glowing like a freshly picked peach. The moon of this world was a brilliant blue and hung low to the horizon like a glowing claw. All around me flew tiny speaks of glowing light, blue and wight that lightened the desilt forest humming with magic and life. There was just a fence from this side of the wall. No city behind it, just a fence in the middle of the forest. I felt the earth melt into my feet. I looked down to see a strange gew stuck on my legs. It was infecting me, but not with sickness or flu. I felt a sharp pain in my spine. My legs twitched a bend into the shape of dog-like legs, soon to ploom with fur. I felt my arms stretch out, my arms covered with fur in colors of blue and green that ended at my hands forming into claws like fingers. Large ears topped with tufts of fur and strange fins grew from my cheeks as my ears sprung from my head. My head felt pinched before morphing into a snout, fur poofing from my head and neck, a strange mask-like layer covering my face. I closed and opened my eyes to notice I had changed into a strange animal.

I walked, stumbling along with a puddle and I looked into its clear water. My face was that of a dog, like a creature, although not like anything I’d ever seen. My whole body was covered in blue and green fur, and a large tail poof twitched at the end. Strange whiskers liked my cheeks, small balls of glowing fur typing the ends. I felt my arms lay heavy and set them on the ground until I was on all 4rs. It was a strangely natural feeling, and yet so new at the same time. Then, I took my first steps. Pulling my feet and paws from the ground one part of me, that chunked off until my paws were no longer stuck into the earth. I ran for a while, dodging past trees and rocks. I felt so free I had forgotten about my pain. The hate at school. The stress at home. And for a moment, I felt actual real happiness for the first time in a long while. Wanted to run. To leap and before I knew it I was galloping through trees and up rolling hillsides and cliffs. I felt so free. Can I possibly talk in this form? I went down to a small animal asking where I was. I expected the harm mask would prevent me from talking but yet It moves naturally as if a part of my face. It was strange speaking. Hello, I spoke but rather than a human voice I heard a strange chirp-like squeak but at the same time I knew what I was saying. Hello, the animal talked back. I smiled. But as I did, a thought came to mind. I have been here for a while. I ran through the trees eventually finding my way back to the strange fence in the middle of the forest and leaped over; as I felt my feet jump across the divide, I felt the magic fade from my feet and slip back into the great place beyond the gate. Pulling myself up from my hands I looked to see a small gate to an old forest. Slipping through the old gate. I found myself wondering once more through the woods.

Water droplets flail gently off the leaves like little pearly drops of water. Walking through the bush I saw as the world around me sunken further into the green of the forest back. Tress and pins green shot from the ground as small tiny golden flowers sprout from moss growth and mushrooms and grew at the ends of logs. I gazed up the walked into a clearing near the end of a rock and sat, watching the dew roll off the ends of the leaves and drop into puddles that poured into the earth's crust. It seems so peaceful. I closed my eyes and listened to the little chirps of the tiny birds pitched in the twigs and branches of the trees. I stood for a while, watching them fly from tree to tree, feeling the beating of their gentle wings hit the air. I felt peaceful for one, but this was soon disturbed as a shiver ran up my spine. “It’s 7:00!” I took off, sliding once more under the wooden gate, and ran back home. I gently opened the door, sliding my shoes off and placing them on the doorstep. I stepped into the living room. Dad was home, asleep on the couch. He'd been gone since yesterday working in the office. I washed my hands while turning off the light and opened the door of the fridge. There was an apple, some eggs, toast, and a frozen bag of peas. Digging to the back I found a microwave TV dinner of potatoes and heated it up before heading to my room. We had lived in an apartment for quite a while. However, there was this secret spot I snuck out to each night. Lifting my window, I crawled out until I found a slanted stot on the room, climbing up the hill, there was a small room, and a tiny deck atop the window that I sat on, watching the sun slowly fall into the nightside. The next morning I woke up, pulling on my shirt, and walking out the door. Arriving at school I ducked my head and tried to avoid others, although sometimes you can't just hide from everyone. I walked down the halls but hit someone’s shoulder but kept walking.

“Hey, hey girl!” Jess shouted from down the hall.

I shuttered. Ugh, she was so annoying, but I kept my cool and kept going.

“Hey! Hello? I know you can hear me!” I kept walking.
I tried to ignore her, keeping my head at a low profile as I walked down the hall. She continues to show. Jess wasn't a stereotypical bully, but she demanded attention. She had no girls to back her up, but she stood in the halls each day, waiting to call names. She knew what hurt me. What broke me. At first she got a reaction from me. I think that's what she wanted. I want to say that I am not effected but it, but I felt a sickness crawling up inside me each day. I kept walking.

“Hey! Hey stupid! I'm right here?!” She yelled in a sarcastic tone.
I stopped in the halls as she called, but froze, my feet planted to the ground like the strong roots of a tree. She began to walk forward, displeased with my lack of obedience. I felt her feet pounding closer as my eyes twitched. Why couldn't she just leave me alone?!

“Leave me alone.” I mumbled, feeling her piercing stare burn through the back of my scalp. Jess was so perfect. I envied her life. She could do whatever she wanted. Her parents never scolded her. In fact knowone had ever seen them or where she lived. She had straight light blond hair and crystal blue eyes; she often made fun of my eyes. “Hey wolf!” she could call me, mocking my bright yellow eyes and scruffed curly hair. I envied her but kept quiet. The quiett girl was a name I often got. Knowone knows me thought. I chuckled for a minute and then picked up my bags and continued to walk till I reached class.

“Ugh! Its finally over!” I groaned as I began to walk home. I walked down the steps and began to exit the steps when I felt someone block my feet.

“Not so fast, weirdo!” I wasn't surprised to find none other than Jess standing in front of me.

“Ugh, what do you want Jess. You know I'm not going to do anything.”

She chuckled for a moment. “Oh, I'm not going to make you do something.”
I felt confident but my luck soon dropped as she stood, holding a picture of my old friend in front of my face.
“ Haven't made any new ones have you?”
I snarled. Friend had died 2 years ago. Beaten to death. She was the only one who knew this. I don't know how. I stared just at her with daggers in my eyes, letting a low breath of air rise from my lungs until I let out a low snarl. Jess laghfed.

“Oh I'm sorry, did you little friend go away? Por girl.”
I felt a wave of heat that rose from my feat to the tips of my fingers spark in my eyes. I wanted to finish her when she tossed the picture.
“Go fetch wolf!” The picture flew off in the wind. I felt my eyes nearly roll into the back of my head. My spine shivered as a spark of energy ran up my spine. My head rose till my eyes met hers. Then, I did it. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I lifted my first and threw my knuckles against her face; she let out a scream as I heard a loud crack and a pop. Blood drawn down from her nose as Hot tears rolled down her cheeks,trying to hold back her sadness.
“ I'll get you back for this!” The girl ran off down the road. Curiosity wound through my hands like a vine. I followed her for a while. I believe there was a possibility she was hiding something. I had my old phone with my and pulled out my camera, ready to shoot. She walked, the sun barely dripping under the horizon. She walked. First stopping at a mansion, as she walked inside, then coming out back in tattered clothes as she dropped a few pennies into a girl's hand. Past the rich nayborhood.Past it all until she stopped at an old shack. The house was small and worn, the windows covered with tape and boarded up. I snapped a picture from behind a bush. I have what I need, but my feet didn't move. No parents came out. The girl just stopped at the door and wept. I snapped another picture, feeling a shadow of guilt now looming over my head. Beginning to move from the bush, there was a snap and Jess looked up. Shit. She saw it then. The camera, me hiding behind the bush. Then, she snapped. Her eyes narrow, tears still wet on her cheeks; her red eyes still puffy from crying. I ran, Jess following from behind me, eyes narrowed and brows furrowed down. The heavy clouds that loomed over us began to pour. Where will I go? That's it, the fence. We ran down, but my legs fell behind as she came closer. I was running down towards a forest spot to hide when Jess tripped, more tears running like pulling down her red cheeks. Still she ran until she grabbed the pictures. I weighed for my doom, ut nothing happened. MY fingers that covered my eyes now lifted from my face. Jess sat, crying under the tree. A dark cloud fell heavy on my shoulder as the small sprinkles of rain began to crash down harder.

“ They cant know. Knowone can know.” Jess mermered over and over again. I knew what I had to do. I sat down under the canopy and scooted my way over.

“Im..im sorry I didn't-” Jess cut me off as she scooted away from me.

“ I don't want your pity. I thought I could hide it, but there's no point anymore.”

At first I was confused but soon a realization bubbled into my mind. She's poor. No family and hardly any money. I stared at her for a while as the rain poured until a twinge of her blond hair dripped down. Her wet hair sprung up into curls and she wiped her face, smearing makeup.

“I guess I might as well just not care.” Jess sayed, then removing contact lenses to see a bright orange eye, sitting next to her other pale grey eye. I looked down at her arms to see a series of scars on her arms like tallies. She paused for a moment. I scooted closer to her, raising a hand to shake hands and apologies when she flinched. I hugged her then. At first she froze but soon mented down, both of us crying under the tree. We didn't talk for a while; but we both knew what we had thought. The next day I walked to school. At the edge of the door Jess stood at the edge of the door.

“ You ok?” I asked

“ They all know. It's no use hiding anymore.”
Her eyes pierced right through me. I'm not very good at showing sympathy, so I didn't say anything for a while.

“At Least you don't have to hide anymore?” I scratched my back, trying to smile a bit.

“ I guess so.” At first while she frowned the corners of her mouth lifted into a slight gentle smile.

“RINGGGGGG!!!”

Jess walked out and down the road. I watched her for a while until I caught up with her. She veered around a corner and leaped over a fence. I felt a little bead of water hit my nose as the sky sacred abled. The chainlink fence flashed in my direction. The place of orange skies and magic- I leaped over the fence, back into the world of fireflies chasing the orange horizons that glowed in brilliance. My eyes closed as I felt the magic return to my feet and my heavy paws lay on the soft earth. I way the trees wound wove into each other like knitting. The sky cascaded open as the forest's trees quaked. I wove my way through the twisted trees until the sky one orange had fated into a brilliant blue sky and the light glue in hues of the ocean sky. A silvery tail brushed against the oak stems that flashed in the dim light. I lifted my gaze to see a creature, long ears with a magnificent set of tails and tufts that sprung from the top of its pointed ears. The fox stood holding its gaze; something felt familiar about its piercing eyes. One orange and the other gray, its fur tipped with a glowing blue. I let out a squeak.

“ Hello?” my voice chirruped from underneath my human vocals. Weight was that-

“ Jess?”

The fox stood and lowered its head, but it sprung up, the foxed many tails wagging vigorously. I felt the needle of sympathy dig deeper into me as a warm flush filled me up.

“ Sophie!! It's me, Jess!”
We hugged for a moment before parting.

“I've been here for a while now, I'm surprised to see you!”
We cried, smiling for a while. Running, laughing, the fears that held us down like shackles that once constrained us to cut loose from its hold. The next day we walked to school together, pushing the door open. Jess looked back for a moment, but we held our heads high and kept walking into the light we saw.