A Manchild's Valentine's Day!

It was Valentine's Day of 2021, and you are quite depressed because, even though you are about to hit the big 4-0, you have yet to get laid! You are feeling quite angry with this revelations and blame various people and trolls for this predicament...

You remember starting your Love Quest back in 2003, just shortly after getting kicked out of an English class for something you still don't understand to this day. You remember you carrying around signs and leaving out pamphlets for your website, but then the wicked witch bitch dean herself appeared, tore down your signs, and told you to take your business elsewhere! You ignored her and continued on with the Love Quest. Eventually, you were bought into her office where she chewed you out for refusing to quit putting up the signs. Intimidated by her words and treatment, you summon up your friend Sonichu to help speak your case. After you tell Mary Lee Walsh about what Sonichu just said, instead of being shocked and apologizing for her behavior, or better yet, helping you get a girlfriend, she tells you to go see a shrink. Enraged by this, you fling a chair aside and unleashed your ultimate move: "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha!" Unfortunately, she was not phased by this at all...she must have a magical barrier surrounding her or something...After this, you remember you had to see both a psychiatrist AND get anger management for that incident...CURSE THAT WITCH!!!

You then decided to take your business to the mall. There, you ran into the Jerkhief and his gang and they then proceeded to harass you until one day, handcuffing you, bringing you into their offices, and verbally abusing you before throwing you out and banning you from the mall! You then proceeded to a Wal-Mart and decided to set up shop inside of the McDonald's held inside, but once again the Manajerks came in and bothered you until jerkops arrived and they threw you out of the McDonald's that night. You then decided to set up shop at a different location at the Wal-Mart, only for the Manajerks to harass you again before forcing you to leave in a Pissy mood! You then receive word that a new Target store is opening up and decided to set up shop there. You then run into officer Bagget and his crew and they proceeded to arrest you and bring you down to the station. Before you could get thrown into the slammer, your parents came in at the nick of time and got you out before you could get into anymore trouble...

You then remember bumping into Megan at the Game Place around in 2005 and have been trying to be friendly with her, but she keeps telling you to back off and quit touching and kissing on her! You later find out from other fellow Pokemon card players that she might be "asexual." You think that this term might mean that she likes to play "hard to catch" and proceeded to go with that. For years, things have gone smoothly until, in 2007, you hear about a "Parappa the Rapper" contest, where the organizers say that the grand prize for the event was 2 PSPs and an all expense paid trip to a video game convention! You get excited at this and the prospect of finally getting in bed with Megan! You entered the contest and was pleasantly surprised that you are already in the top 10 category! You are then quite sure you would win this!

However, in the end, you never won the contest and you remember being so angry at the winners, that you made a dart board of them and shot darts at them. You then took your grievance to a Playstation Network forum and bitched and whined until you got banned. During your tirade, you get an e-mail from Megan. You think it's an e-mail from her, saying she is sorry you lost the contest and she will help you cope with the lost. When you open it up, instead, it was actually her, being GLAD that you lost and she then proceeded to berate you for your recent behavior! You remember that this e-mail was so hurtful, it took you a couple of weeks to recover before you were back on your feet. Things will seem to go back to normal until around Halloween of 2007, you did a random search on yourself and found out that people has made a Parody webpage of you and are accusing you of...BEING GAY!!! Being a proud, straight man, you thought it would be appropriate to draw up some pornographic images and post them on the website, including one of you...finger banging your best friend Megan...You just hope Megan doesn't find out. Unfortunately, in March of 2008, Megan discovers the image and generally asks "What the fuck were you thinking making that?!?" and you replied with "It helped to keep me from doing something stupid..." After hearing this, Megan gets frightened and tells you to kindly back off before blocking your e-mail account! You remember trying to apologize to Megan at the Game Place one day, but that Manajerk Michael Snyder had you banned and removed from the premises by Jerkops! You tried to plead with Megan, but she refused to speak out, possibly due to shock...

You then remember the cavalcade of trolls that had a field day with you! From Blanca who talked you into sending her a medallion which ended up being destroyed and pissed on in a Youtube video.

You then moved on to Panda Halo, who mysteriously died during the Australian Brush fire. Then of course, who could forget Bluespike?!? The little kid that somehow talked you into shoving a medallion up your butt...You remember those horrifying days...

Back to the present, you give Sonichu orders to take over your body as your soul travels into C-197 so you can continue to play with the cartoon characters.
In your body, Sonichu goes to a Discord server and talks about how you haven't really been laid and you never could find a woman to cuddle up with in all those years...
Sonichu also stated that, unless your imaginary husbands and wives manages to come into existence, you would never be able to see or feel them for real! Sonichu also talks about the time that your mother finally convinces you to do away with the sign, as it makes you look like a freaking retard! Sonichu also despises dating apps because he is worried that it would open up another round of trolls having a field day with Chris-chan! Sonichu finally finishes it up by talking about the women in the server that qualifies to be his "Boyfriend-free Girl."

Just after getting your body back from Sonichu, your mother comes in and tells you that pizza is here. You sigh and say "Fine, be out in a bit!" As you poke your head out while your mom pays for the pizza, you start to get a strange sensation wash over you as you look over her...body. You then continue to watch her as she moves into the kitchen with all of the pizza. You don't know why, but you feel quite funny watching your mother like this. And as she bends down and whatnot to pick up plates and such, you started to feel...arousal...
"OH HELL NO, THIS IS YOUR MOTHER!" You think to yourself. "THERE IS POSSIBLY NO WAY I COU-" But your thoughts are interrupted when your mother calls you in to get some pizza. You shake off these sickening thoughts and head into the kitchen to get some pizza, hoping that these awful thoughts don't take over one day....