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Love is always a bad lesson. She loved him. He didn't like her back. They were best friends. Still? Hopefully."You are too late", he said. In her defense, no. She waited patiently for him to get comfortable with her. He was a gem. Precious like a little rock on the crown. Good thing he didn't lie. The sad thing, she wasn't happy with the truth. Respect and patience. What more does she need? All that's missing for her. She hadn't had enough of him. And a whole lifetime wouldn't be enough for her. But what would she have done if he did like her back? Nothing. She would've done nothing. She's scared of losing love. She wouldn't keep it. She wanted to cuddle, talk, stare, have fun, get scolded, watch movies, play with his hair, irritate him, watch tiny houses, eat from street-side vendors, tickle him, gossip, get crazy, introduce him to the world as hers. She wanted to do all of everything with him. She wanted to do all this for 4 years. The problem is, she never spoke about it. And he was long gone till she noticed. She's a madman. She didn't recognize her feelings. When she did, she didn't accept it. When she did, she didn't realize its more than that. And when she did, she was too scared to speak about it. She ran daily from the fact that she was messed up. Now she's sure. And what about it? Nothing. She's messed up and that's it. She lost something she values more than her body. She lost a good friend and pure love. Did he know? No. And he shouldn't. Of course, she'll move on. But will she find someone who tolerates her like him? Who'll let her play with his hair, explain idiotic sums, theories and movies to her? Who'll eat with her, take care of her, laugh with her and call her silly names? She can't find another him. And that's when she couldn't handle it. She lost something that makes her entirely happy without any conditions. She lost her rock, her cloud 9, her relief, her peace, her heaven, her home, and her innocence with him. She thought, would it have been different if she did say it before? No. You can't create feelings. But there needs to be an excuse to tell your heart to keep it intact. She'd never open up to anyone too much anymore, she wouldn't tell about her feelings to anyone, she wouldn't be carefree anymore. She'll survive. Like a queen. She may move on and be extremely happy. But a part of her soul will always love him and want him unconditionally. She was too naive to understand the world. That's what she was. But there's no point in regretting stuff. Right? You make a decision, you live with it." Careful, dear". She'll always remember. And even though they weren't together in the end, she was thankful for he's been a part of her life. Her eyes battled the ocean when she inked her thoughts. She wiped them with her palm and voiced, "SOMETIMES, LOVE ISN'T ENOUGH." |