Love and Hate

The words
Love
And
Hate
For so long I was lost
On their meaning
So I tried to understand them
But every time I thought
I had a gist of understanding
My definition would get changed by others poor behavior or lack of effort
For love was in my head
Just how much you cared and would do anything for that person
And therefore they shall stay in your life
But then they would leave
Or be taken
So I stop trying to understand it
Because it would hurt me
Because it would kill me on the Inside
Because it almost did
Many many many times
And then I started "hating" it
Or at least what I thought was hate
I had so much anger
Well still do
But it was annoying
So insane how easy it can get to me
That quickly
And that idea of death
Didn't seem that unpleasant after all
Till you
Till you come
But you never were gone
You were always there
I was just too blind
And too shortsighted to see any of it
Any of your features
Any of your Amazing ways of being strong and so joyful even in the most hellish of times
And how so strong and yet so Amazing you glow in the darkness
You were and are the definition of this so call love I have been searching so far for
And even at the same time hate as well
Because without the light
Because without the glow
Because without the shine in your ocean of eyes
I would be lost
I would be so confused
I would be numb
I would be nothing
I would be angry
And I hated it so damn much
And therefore you are my definition, my love.