Racing Aspidistras

Some people think my hobbies are really quite absurd.
But I find them entertaining, in every sense of the word.
Like racing aspidistras, a pleasantly futile task,
Or camping out in custard, (for which I wear a mask!)
There's subterranean astronomy, (I take my telescope down caves),
And burying festive hard boiled eggs, in freshly painted graves.
Sculpting with stringy spaghetti, and freshly cooked at that,
Or juggling jammy doughnuts, whilst riding on my top hat.
There's amplifying oranges, (to see that they are heard.)
Translating rare philosophies, transcribed in fluent bird!
I find time passes quickly, with so many things to do,
And now if you'll excuse me, I have to climb some stew.