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by Jacky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Fiction · Contest Entry · #2272388
Flash Fiction
Semantics

“You’ll never believe this!” Alex said, excited.

“I don’t believe it,” said Jack

“...ah, what...?” Alex said, thrown off guard.

“I don’t believe it.”

“You don’t know what I was going to say yet.”

“I wanted to save you the trouble of saying it.”

“Huh?”

“Well, if I wasn’t going to believe it anyway, why should you say it at all? And if you were trying to make me believe it, you wouldn’t have told me you already knew I wouldn’t believe it.”

“That’s not how it works,” said Alex.

“What?”

“That’s not how it works. First I have something to tell you that’s really weird. Then because it’s weird I say ‘you’ll never believe it,’ which just sets you up to hear something that’s weird. It’s just a thing to say in that circumstance. I’m not really saying you’ll never believe it, I’m saying this is so weird you will be amazed.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. I wondered why people said that so often. Why don’t you just say I’m going to tell you something that’s weird?

“I don’t know, I didn’t invent English.”

“Oh, ok. So what is this thing that I will believe that’s so weird?”

“Oh crap!”

“I don’t get it... crap is weird?”

“No, now I can’t remember what I was going to tell you when I said you’ll never believe this...”

“Well, I can believe that.”
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