Into the night

Deep in the night

The sunset was about to end, but it was still very hot. I was going home after running out of transportation and having to walk several kilometers, when suddenly my cell phone rang, it was her, Airi wrote me again, lately she just said good morning and asked me if I had eaten or if I was going to go for a walk with my dog, since she liked to come with us, but this time he said "Goodbye".

While walking I was thinking about what he wanted to tell me, after several meters I began to run, a chill ran through my body. I had a remote idea of what might happen and I didn't like it at all. In the past she had been the victim of harassment, plus there were several rumors about her, but she didn't seem to care. In the end she was still her no matter what the rest said.

But when he arrived, I witnessed his plan. I once read that there are two types of people in the world, some who long to live and are guided by Eros and others who wish to die, who are guided by Thanatos. If you ask me, I will say that I would not dislike being guided by both, but in the case of Airi, I wanted to be guided by Thanatos.

His plan was to die, but deep down he felt that he should save her, he thought he didn't want to die. However, if I run away with her who would save me? Possibly, we would both get lost, which would not be encouraging, on the other hand, I did not want to leave her alone anymore. I sat next to her talking, as sunset fell. The summer wind was blowing very hard and the view from the sixth floor was tempting in a way.

There was a long silence until I heard those cold and sad words "I want to die", why? I told him, she in a low and choppy voice knew how to explain to me that it was time and that he was waiting for him, I shouted that there was no one. She told me, "Why are you having a hard time understanding it." I suppose that death becomes the most precious thing for some people, I told him, there was no one, who looked at me, his answer was a resounding "No".

I refused to lose her, at the time, after really finding out what my feelings were for her. She just looked at me and said that she was tired of living and wanted to die, that's when my reason was clouded and I replied that I also wanted to die, I think she was surprised, but this time her smile was real, as soon as I passed that, my heart felt a very comfortable peace. I understand, now I see why it was always me and because I was no one else in those days, where there could be several people who could comfort her, but it was me.

Now I understand why you called me when you planned to die. It wasn't for me to save you as I thought, you wanted me to accompany you. For me this girl was my undoing, and I was sure I was going to regret it, but at that moment nothing mattered to me anymore.

I had no more reason to doubt what she had provoked in me, however, I still wondered if it will be worth leaving everything to chance as if it were a game of face or seal, I wondered if only then she could escape from this horrible world, I wondered if I could really love her, or I was just using that as a pretext not to leave her alone. So I took him by the hand, and we ran through the night.