Hope in Times of Despair/Starting Over

Starting over. Again, God, it seems I am always starting over.

School. Marriage. Kids. Divorce. Alone. Married again. Divorced again. Moving, several times.

What am I looking for? What am I doing? I am not even sure.

Even so, You haven't left my side. I have left Yours, for sure. I am a Prodigal Daughter, wandering and looking, for what? I am not even sure.

I know better, I've read Your promises, and I do believe them in my mind; however different my actions seem.

You said that You would "never leave me or forsake me" (Deuteronomy 31:6). In that same verse, you said to "Be strong and courageous". How many times have I sat in fear and doubt? Too many to count.

Forgive me God, for my fears and doubts. The song verse Trust and Obey comes to mind.
Trust and Obey,
for there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus,
but to trust and obey.

Mark 9:23-24 says, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes...Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"

Like that crying father of dying child, I cry out, "Help my unbelief!" I want to trust You and believe Your words. I get so caught up in life, and "what is going on? Why me? Why is this happening?" that my belief gets overshadowed by doubt and fear.

Help me to refocus on You, and Your word.

Thank You for allowing me to come back to You. Again.