Trigger Warning : Narcissistic Abxse |
Today is the day that I was forced to choose between a killer kind of love and my mental state. Today is the day that I was forced to stop believing in the fairy tale that you would make me happy. Today was the day I started seeing my bruises as the painful picture you have painted all over my body. Today was the day that I got off the runaway train that are your flowery statements that never quite make it to the station. Today was the day that I realized the bar you have set for me in the clouds was never even there. Today was the day my body stopped being a burial ground of your suffering. Today was the day I felt the pressure in my chest release and actually exhaled without feeling like my next breath was going to be underwater. Today was the day I stopped wincing when you spoke, waiting for the impact of your vocabulary. Today was the day I stopped looking in the mirror and seeing the monster you painted. Today was the day that I sat in the floor and counted my scars, all of them memories of that disguised jealousy. Today is the day that I realized that love didn't have to hurt so bad even if I wasn't sure what it truly looked like. Today was the day that I realized that all of your insults were not personal identifiers, but rather the self hate you couldn't handle. Today was the day that I stopped digging my own grave as a martyr for your sake. Today was the day, but for you it was only a Thursday. |