If I Must

If I Must

If I must be alive, I wish to stay in pain,
Feeling my skin touch my bones,
As it rains, clouds cover my head in fog,
Drips down my throat. Acidic.

If I must be alive, o, if I must
Suffer with my breath,
Let me starve to death,
Empty casket of Madeira wine.

If this is meant to be,
Unhappy in the state of living,
Let love pierce me through
And blood pour from my lips.

If I must be alive, if I must,
I will close my eyes to the sky,
Sit lonely in my chair,
And wait to die.

By Jordan Carey