My Dear Sweet Annie

My dear sweet Annie kitty,

You were not the kitty I was looking for that day as I was about to leave that sad pet shop that would not be there a week later. You saw me and scurried up to the top of the double tiered cage and extended your tiny paw through the bars and reached out as I passed by. You knew before I did, that I was yours. I stopped and in you saw my old Molly kitty and asked to hold you. You nuzzled right under my chin as if your little head had been created just to be tucked there and I brought you home. You cost $61.25.

You were a sickly kitten and we were told you might never be well. I was so relieved when Gordon saw how much I loved you and spent the $400 rather than putting you to sleep right then. I loved you after that for almost 17 years. You got sick again when you were 13 but Dr. Dawn extended your life.

You sat on my desk and grew with me most every hour of every day. You came with me, even your last day, to watch me take my nightly bath. You'd love to jump up on the edge and lick the warm water. When we moved and you got old, you still stood up and loved listening to the splashing. I'd feed you special nummies at bath time and you'd come every time you'd hear me in the bathroom and you'd jump off your bed and run in if only to be held and purr. I'll never be able to be in there without looking down expecting to see you there. You so enjoyed the new house. Us being there together just by ourselves again for a time. You'd inspect the screened garden walking in the sunshine around the pool eating catnip and grass and laying in the warmth as you did your last afternoon.

You brought me your toys at night. In the morning there would be a pile you gathered. Even a few nights before you got so sick so suddenly, your meow woke me as you were dragging socks or even my hat and sweat pants into what had become your bedroom. I will never be able to go by that quilted pillow in your bedroom and not look to see if you aren't curled up there.

I am so sorry I did not know you were going to die. You became sick so fast and slipped away despite my poor efforts. I knew it somewhere when you stopped purring when I held you. It was for just a very few anguished days. I'll should have appreciated you more those last months, held you closer. More often.

Dear Annie, I tried so hard to help you in the end but didn't know how and didn't realize until your body failed you too far. I'm so glad I held you with me in bed that last early morning when we both slept. Your little head under my chin as I held you tight against me. When we came back from church and your eyes again sparkled and we brought you to the vet, I so hoped they could fix you. Thank you for giving me those moments, just for then knowing your name, looking up and letting me stroke you.

I'm so glad I got to hold you again that last time and tell you that you were a good kitty, the best kitty, who had done everything any kitty could ever do, but it was time. I kissed you and said I love you over and over and held you up and looked into your eyes shining just then as sweetly as they were that November day in Iowa when you picked me and I pressed your head under my chin and then let you go.

Annie, please forgive any day I did not love you enough because I wish I had all those days back to love you better...but I think you knew that and loved me anyway. My dear little sweet kitty who always stayed so little and sweet, thank you for loving me. I still have so much love left but you aren't here to hold. I miss you so.


Your Forever Mommy


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