The Snail Analyst

1,999 Words


         Prompt: An opsimath is someone who begins to learn or study only late in life. Write a story about an opsimath of an unusual field or subject matter.

         Sniley Ambruster developed an interest in a subject matter that was quite unusual. She didn't have an inkling that something like this would be frowned upon. At a very young age, about four, in front of her family's home, she saw something amazing slithering about on their sidewalk. Mostly after it rained, she noticed that this was happening. Most people thought it was a worm, but it wasn't. She made a place to put these things in. With the special little things that they would enjoy, she decided to put them inside a jar. She would become very upset if anyone disrupted what she had put together.

         Sniley tried extra hard to keep her project a secret. Tears began to slowly dribble down her eyes when her pets began to die. Carrying their shells on their backs, her pets were very slimy, as they moved slowly along. She was crying, but no one could figure out why. She had a pet, but she wasn't, not for any reason, going to tell anyone. To find out more about these creatures, she put them under a microscope. About a million to one, they exceeded her expectations.

         Dezerette McMillan, one of her best friends, began to notice that something was odd about her behavior. She asked Sniley if she was aware that she wasn't as outgoing as she used to be. Dezerette thought there was more going on than meeting the eye since she didn't talk much. Sniley said that she was fine. What she didn't tell her was that she was making a haven for snails. If her family members ever found out what she was doing, they would go ballistic; she knew that.

         Sniley kept this big secret going until Cyrus Drake, her nephew, found the secret hiding place where the snails were kept. "What in Sam's eye is this?", he exclaimed, "This is such a hideous thing!" The rest of the family wondered what all the commotion was about. "In the aquarium, Cyrus told them, bunches of snails were discovered." He located them in an aquarium on top of a wheelbarrow. He told them that this was very strange. This ordeal shocked Cyrus. He thought that someone was trying to play a trick on their family. He didn't have a clue who would do this; an enemy must be lurking around their place.

         Cyrus was troubled and perplexed; he couldn't stop thinking about what he had discovered. As the days went passing by, as far as he was concerned, they didn't have any enemies. A lot of conflict was happening in the house. The big secret needed to be solved.

         Cyrus caught the culprit when he walked through the garden. His Aunt Sniley was collecting the snails. Cyrus was mad at her when he said, "What do you think you're doing?" With confidence, she spoke up quickly, "I am a snail analyst." He barked, "A snail analyst?" "I never heard of such a thing." "You better explain what you're doing, exactly."

         Sniley had to think about how she could make a snail analyst's career sound exciting. Trying to find out why a snail slithers slowly with a shell on its back was an experiment she was doing. "It's their home, a sanctuary where they can escape from their predators', she said. They can hide anywhere they please." "Since they have so many predators, they have to move slowly so that they wouldn't get caught. They talked to her and listened to what she had to say; this was why she wanted to keep them alive; they calmed her down in many ways.

         Cyrus told Sniley that he would tell the family about her being a snail analyst. "You are gross", he said. He didn't buy anything that she said. "You're crazy", he yelled. "You will have to get rid of all those snails." Sniley quivered, "They have a right to live." Later, Cyrus found out that she had been abused in her youth. No sexual contact was involved; it was all verbal. She was always being accused of anything that went wrong in the family. She would always get the blame, no matter what it was. She suffered from all the pain by keeping it stuffed inside. She didn't dress the way all the other family members did. She was odd, everyone thought. She didn't have anyone to talk to; there were times that she wanted to run away. Their thoughts were that she wanted to be pitied. When Sniley heard this, she hunkered down, feeling as low as the snails. She longed to have a good home.

         One week later, Cyrus no longer could contain it. Sniley's secret was out in the open. The family, by what they had just heard, were shocked and terrified. The whole situation embarrassed her. How would she explain herself? The subject that nobody wanted to talk about was someone wanting to become a snail analyst. The snails would leave their slime behind them; this was all that the family could talk about. "You have a very nasty habit, Sniley", the family, in a very loud voice projected. Embarking upon our family, they wondered what the doctor would say about the health issues involved. It was so inconsiderate of her to do this. "Who, in their right mind would do such a horrible thing such as this?" This will not do; it's time to think about another profession."Sniley was astonished. Her classmates didn't accept what was leading up to the whole thing. They made fun of her by making her a target of bullying. She was easily persuaded into doing things that she would later regret. To let them get by with doing awful things made her angry. For the life of her, trying to figure out why they didn't like her was difficult. They wouldn't stop the abuse; it was getting worse. She decided, at this point, that a different profession would be a lot better. She didn't know what that would be. Nothing else seemed to hold her interest; the decision would be hard to make.

         About her snail analyst profession, Sniley came up with a clever idea. Everyone was told that there was a reason why the snails moved so slowly. "They must have a lot to think about. Rather than make quick decisions, they had to decide whether they would be good or bad. This was good to some extent, but, sometimes, decisions had to be made on the spot, otherwise, it would be passed on to someone else. In this case, the snails have gotten wise; they thought before they acted.

         A wise snail doesn't wail; they shrivel up when they get wet. They become wry when they are dry. When they tried too many times, they went back into their shell and cried. They did everything that they could, doing all the things which they should. Their intentions were very good.

         The legend of the snail is mighty great, moving slow could be their fate. They left a trail behind them with slime; this would happen if they arrived on time. We'd be elated if we could have waited. By moving slowly, they would grow; their shells protected them from every flow.

         "The snails have potential, you see," said Sniley. "If I could analyze their behavior, I think that I'd be pretty clever. Moving fast couldn't last; they knew this because of their past. This was why she wanted to become a snail analyst. This stuff was important enough to know. The idea of getting rid of them, you'd regret; the very essence of their being would be destroyed. It's not easy being a snail; thinking that they'd be charred would be rather hard. Being barred from society would be a totality.

         Sniley tried her darndest to convince people that there was a good side to snails. Just like we do, the snails have a right to live here. To prove what they can do, give them a chance, she told them. She became a snail analyst for this reason.

         "Hidee, Snidee, it's quite all right," Sniley told the snails. "Be patient my friends, it's always a pleasure to fight for you". The snails didn't quite know what to think of Sniley, a young girl who had such an interest in them. Sniley and the snails became good buddies. The snails didn't like the way Sniley was being treated.

         Sniley's family, including her nephew, Cyrus Drake, sneaked their way to the wheelbarrow where the aquarium, the place where the snails' abode, was taken away. When Sniley found out what they had done, she was crushed. Sniley demanded to know what happened to her snails.

         The snails managed to create a slimy path for Sniley to follow. In honor of what they had done best, they invented the name Sniley Slime. After thinking about it for a while, they called her Sniley Slime, the Snail Analyst. Since she adored them so well, the name suited her.
,

{The End Result}

         Families, friends, and outsiders thought differently about Sniley's unusual and strange profession. With this kind of hobby, she had a song that was appropriated by the people. It was entitled, "It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones. Due to hearing this song many times over, they decided that perhaps it was okay for her to do what she loved best. This was how the name "Snail Analyst" came to be. She was rocking.

         Sniley got her friend, Dezerette McMillan, involved in the business end of things. Two of the snails were named "Shelly Snelly and Slimee Trailee". These names fit them perfectly. To observers every day, the snails had a specific routine displayed. They accomplished quite a feat. In detail, they explained what it was like to be a snail. Because they moved slowly along, snails were very shy. To guide people to their private domain, a slimy trail was left behind wherever they went. Designed in many sizes, shapes, and forms, with shells on their backs; it was the consistency of a spectacular wall of picturesque snails. Processed by patterns of distinguishable viewpoints of modernized housing, they were able to have a specific schedule of maneuver abilities. Even though they were slow, this was interesting to note. Built for durability and strength, they were called snail houses. For all the entertainment it has to offer, it's best to purchase a snail house. Feeling like you were there in person, it featured live shows. The sensation was unlike any other. They took pride in protecting their friends from harm. During times of storm, they provided detailed high-quality shelter that was intertwined with the expertise of knowledgeable informants; it was a solid foundation that wouldn't steer you wrong. Their pleasantness superseded any unpleasantness that would erupt. This meant that snails didn't carry any resentment. When adversity hit, they remained calm. Highly remarkable, these traits were comparable with hardly anyone. They were destined to survive the toughest of the tough. Hiding themselves from the calamities that brought chaos into situational circumstances, made them much more intelligent than the average person. This was a characteristic of the snail dance; it was slow and nice, and well worth the price of a lovely intelligent evening full of a brighter promise of tomorrow; it was slow, steady, and ready for some fun and happiness.

         Snails were getting praised for some reason. Into the realm of insanity, this was an oddity that showed an absurdity that was wildly obtrusive. Sniley was a snail analyst. This was an occupation that didn't fare well with the general public; it was like you were being caught in the outer limits. In the far reaches of time, you were destined to be in the outer limits. Was this destiny a disguise in reality or was it just someone's imagination?


Written by Anna Marie Carlson
Monday, May 22, 2023