Change Places!

"Change places! Change places! Move down! Move down!"

Alice rose with a start, heading clockwise round the table as the Mad Hatter gibbered on out in front. Really, it was just so exhausting! And it was so hot - far too hot for all this unnecessary activity!

"Can't I just sit for a while?" she asked plaintively.

"Of course you can - just sit here." The orderly carefully guided her to the nearest chair.

" I can never have any sugar in my tea - they have lots of sugar bowls, but there were no spoons."

"Never mind, Alice, I'm sure we can get you a spoon."

"Yeth! Certainly! We have spoons, knives, forks, foons, spives, knorks, fives, sporks, and all sorts of wonderful things! It wouldn't be a proper tea party without a full set of thingummybobs and bobamythings! Did I just say bobamythings! How thilly of me! I meant doohickeys and hoodickeys!"

Alice rolled her eyes and waited for the Mad Hatter to finish. There were times he could be so annoying. He almost made the March Hare seem normal. To her surprise, she missed the March Hare. And this new fellow seemed a little odd. The March Hare had been quirky, but at least he had been fun. This caterpillar who had joined their party was aloof and so boring!

"What time is it?" she asked, when the Mad Hatter had finally paused for breath.

"What time is it? WHAT TIME IS IT? Why it'th time for..."

"...your afternoon tea. You like your tea, don't you?"

"I miss the puppy. What happened to the puppy?"

Gary looked over at Mr Noakes. He'd only been caring for Alice for a couple of weeks, and he was still struggling to keep up with some of her references.

"The puppy. When Alice first drank the shrinking potion, she had to escape from a puppy."

"What's the deal with Alice in Wonderland anyway?"

"Apparently it was her favourite book as a child - she like that she had the same name as the main character."

"It was very strange." Alice interrupted their conversation. "The dog had one blue eye and one brown eye."

Gary raised an eyebrow.

"That bit's not in the book or the movie. The best guess we have is that she's mixed it up with some childhood pet."

Alice lurched to her feet, stumbling and almost falling.

"Change places! Change places! Move down! Move down!"

"Whoa there. Be careful - you nearly fell."

"Oh boo to you Mr Caterpillar. It's time to move down! We need clean cups! The March Hare always let me move down."

"She gets agitated if you stop her, so best go along with it."

Gary nodded to acknowledge the senior orderly's advice and helped her move one place down the table. After he lowered her into her seat, he went to get her medication.

"The March Hare?"

"Your predecessor - he was really good at humouring her."

"Does that make you the Mad Hatter?"

Mr Noakes looked at Gary over the rim of his bifocals.

"If you must know, I'm the dormouse."

Gary tried to suppress a smirk as Mr Noakes rolled his eyes.

"I know, I know - but at least the dormouse spends most of the time asleep, so I don't have to get involved all that often. The Mad Hatter seems to be a voice in her own head."

"Why do we go through this charade?"

"It keeps her relatively docile - she just gets worked up if we don't go along with it."

"More tea, my dear?" asked the Hatter, looking around for the nearest teapot. "That's strange - we don't have any tea. We can't have a tea party without the tea. That would be really thilly! WE MUST HAVE MORE TEA!!!!"

"There must be tea! Where's the tea? Where's the tea?"

Gary turned and quick-stepped his way over to the table as Alice started to get more upset.

"Here were are. It's a clean cup. Now drink up every drop."

Alice winced. The tea seemed funny and she wasn't sure she liked the taste.

"This is very strange tea!" she remarked.

"Well, this is a very strange tea party!" said the Hatter, jumping into his top hat and reappearing in the giant teapot several feet away. She laughed out loud, causing the caterpillar to raise his head and look over to the dormouse, who opened one sleepy eye and said...

"...it'll take a couple of minutes to have an effect. Then we can take her back to her room. As long as she has her afternoon 'tea party', she's content for the rest of the day."

They waited a few minutes while the medication kicked in. While she was generally well-behaved, it was sometimes necessary to give a mild sedative when she became over-excited. Gary puffed out his cheeks - this was going to take some getting used to. As he helped her to her feet, he thought back the the Disney cartoon.

"A very merry unbirthday to me" she sang softly as he guided her down the corridor and back to her room.

"A very merry unbirthday to you." Aliice smiled as Gary joined in the song - maybe the caterpillar was going to be good fun after all.

"Let's all congratulate us with another cup of tea." he continued, rising to a crescendo. "A very merry unbirthday to you!"