Lance Decker Rock-The France Report

Lance Decker Rock-The France Report
By Shadowgate
.....
8:30 AM
Mrs. Howl heard a knock on her classroom door. She told the class to remain silent while she answered it. A staff member and a little girl were there and she spoke briefly with the staff member.
When the little girl entered the classroom Mrs. Howl said "attention class we have a new student."
Filomena Pierre told the class her name. Mrs. Howl explained she was from a foreign country that was part of Europe.
After that Mrs. Howl grabbed the globe off a filing cabinet and said "class I'm going to call each one of you up from your desks and have you point to Europe."
She spun the globe around and began calling random names.
LUNCH TIME
Tyrone tapped Lance on the side of his shoulder.
"So the new student is from France. My uncle says they have nude beaches in France."
Lance was surprised and replied "if we lived in France does that mean we would have to be naked when we go to the beach?"
The school hall monitor who was also the lunch monitor to the children's dismay and she interrupted "first you must be 18 or older to go to a nude beach. Second it is not appropriate to talk about nude beaches in school."
Tyrone yelled back "first it's inappropriate to butt into a conversation. Second you're ugly as a dead cockroach in a dumpster."
The school hall monitor yelled back "first of all children are not entitled to private conversations and second of all I'm taking you to the principal's office which you end up in at least once a week."
The school hall monitor marched Tyrone to the principal's office.
On the school bus Lance sang a song.
"We live in France where the naked ladies dance.
There's a king and a queen with peanut butter in their underpants.
There's a hole in the wall so naughty men can see it all.
There's a great big tower where the princess takes a shower.
My name is Lance and I'm not from France."
His classmates laughed and two fifth graders took notice.
"Is your name actually Lance?"
"Yes" answered Lance and the fifth graders gave their names.
"Jonathan Holub"
"Jeff Cusack"
At first Lance was wary of them because the two kids were bigger but decided to give his last name. "My last name is Rock and I love the rock band Slayer and that's a neat shirt."
Jonathan had a Slayer T-shirt with a green monster that had red eyes.
Jonathan was surprised and asked "what do you know about Slayer?"
Lance replied "my favorite album is Hell Awaits and I know the lyrics to Crypts of Eternity."
Jeff immediately pointed out "Jonathan the fact he knows that album and at least one song off it proves he knows something about Slayer and he's not lying to impress us but anyhow sing that song you were singing."
"The one about France" the puzzled seven-year-old asked.
Both fifth graders nodded and two minutes later the bus driver stopped the bus and he got up because there were three boys he had in his sight.
When Tina got home at 4:30PM she found Lance in the living room crying.
She asked him what was the matter?
"The mean substitute bus driver gave me an office referral and he said I would have to see the school principal in the morning."
Lance continued crying.
Tina asked "what happened?"
Lance yelled "I don't want to ride the bus to school anymore" then ran up to his room.
6PM DINNER TIME
After dinner was served Tina called Lance into the living room and said "now that you've settled down I'm hoping we can talk about what happened."
Lance looked at her and said "I got in trouble. The bus driver didn't like Jonathan Holub or Jeff Cusack. He also didn't like the song I was singing."
Kevin repeated the names of the two boys he met on the bus and said "I don't know them" then turned to his wife and said "honey do you know them?"
Tina answered "I've never heard of them."
Lance verified "I just met them today. I also met a substitute bus driver today and I hate him."
Kevin asked "what about the two boys you just met today?"
Lance answered "they weren't mean but the substitute bus driver was."
Tina chimed in "okay so the two boys what were their names again?"
Lance answered "Jonathan Holub and Jeff Cusack."
Tina reminded Lance "we've never heard of them. Are they in your class?"
Lance answered "no they're not in my class they're in some other classroom. I don't know who their homeroom teacher is."
Tina asked "what were these boys like? Were they mean?"
Lance answered "I told you they were nice to me."
Kevin asked "what did you talk about with Jeff and Jonathan?"
Lance answered "singing and I told Jonathan I liked his Slayer T-shirt. They didn't think I knew about the band until I told them Hell Awaits was my favorite album. Then I told them I knew the words to Crypts To Eternity but they said they wanted to hear me sing the other song."
Tina's face lit up and she responded "okay Lance most first graders don't know about the band Slayer so they were surprised and I certainly don't know of any first graders that wear Slayer T-shirts."
Lance finally admitted "they're fifth graders."
Tina yelled back "well those rotten fifth graders are a bad influence and now you have an office referral."
Lance yelled "they didn't do anything the bus driver was dating Jeff's grandma and they broke up."
Tina looked at Lance baffled and replied "what?"
Kevin asked "Lance is there a disciplinary report of any kind that you were given for us to sign?"
Lance replied "you mean a paper that says I did something bad which I didn't do anything bad!"
Kevin snapped "yes a paper!"
Lance quickly answered "oh no if there was one I'd show it to you."
Tina asked "do you have to report to the principal's office first thing in the morning?"
Lance blew air out of his mouth then answered "well I plan to wait until I get called to the principal's office because that's usually what happens."
Tina got pissed off and demanded to know "Lance what did you do on the bus that got you in trouble? Do you expect us to believe the bus driver dated a fifth graders grandma and because the relationship went bad the bus driver targeted her fifth-grade grandson and a close friend of her grandson and you got caught in the middle?"
Lance said "yes" calmly and with no sign of sarcasm.
Kevin and Tina were both baffled and found the whole situation very weird to say the least.
Lance Decker Rock got off the school bus and was grateful his regular bus driver was back. He walked in line to his classroom like he did every morning Monday-Friday.
Class got started and after the first half hour of school Lance felt relaxed. He sat silently while Mrs. Howl conducted class.
FIRST 45 MINUTES PASS
"Attention teachers and students. At this time we need the following students to report to the principal's office immediately. Jeff Cusack, Jonathan Holub, and Lance Decker Rock."
"Oh that stupid substitute bus driver. I'd love to fart in his face." Lance yelled and his whole class laughed. Mrs. Howl spoke loudly "alright class if your name wasn't called then you don't have to worry about what's going on outside of this classroom. Everyone focus on France because that is the lesson you are to focus on."
Lance walked quietly out of the classroom and down the hall. Before he entered the main office, he took a deep breath. Then he opened the main office door and said out loud "I'm Lance Decker Rock now why did I have to come here?"
The staff associate told him to sit down and his parents both called his name at the same time.
"Mom, dad, what the hell are you two doing here?"
Tina scolded Lance "watch your language, Lance."
Lance's mom Tina walked over to Lance and said "that's Jeff's mother Andrea Cusack and she told me that this bus driver was dating her mother, Jeff's grandma so your mother and I believe you did nothing wrong."
Lance gives a quick smile and then says "okay then I don't have to be in the principal's office."
He bounced up out of the chair but his dad told him "wait a minute now the principal needs to speak to us about this bus driver referral."
Lance told his dad "the bus driver referral, so the bus driver got a principal's office referral because he was a bad boy on the bus."
Kevin shouted back "Lance don't be a smart ass."
Lance pouted as his dad Kevin stared him down.
Principal Wendy Bailer came out of her office and said "alright now I see there are three students here. Two I've met already Jeff Cusack, and Jonathan Holub."
Tina asked "how many times have they been sent to the principal's office?"
Andrea Cusack yelled "none of your business."
Daisy Holub chimed in "no more than any other children at this school I should say."
Principal Bailer firmly stated "I'm going to call in Gary Wells. Mister Wells was the substitute bus driver and he has a little explaining to do since you showed me photos of him with your mother Mrs. Cusack. While he may have had his eye on your son and your son's best friend with a motive of retaliation it doesn't explain away the third young man or the inappropriate song in question."
The principal stared at Lance and Lance shouted "I want to go home."
Principal Bailer shouted back "silence."
The principal got on the intercom and said "Gary Wells please report to the principal's office."
An old man entered and said "I'm Gary Wells and I signed off on three disciplinary reports and now days when a kid gets disciplined the parents scream and don't trust the grownup in authority who dared to discipline their little darlings."
The principal stated "well in this case a parent Mrs. Cusack has proof you may have disciplined her son and two others unfairly and it was proof I could not ignore."
Gary replied "proof?"
The principal explained that Mrs. Cusack had pictures on her phone proving Gary dated her mother and the breakup was ugly and "she is claiming you targeted your ex-girlfriend's grandson along with his best friend for disciplinary action."
Gary responded "well if that's true then why aren't they the only two? Why is there a third student in here who not only had nothing to do with any of my ex-girlfriends, but he also incidentally happens to be in a grade level that's different from the other two?"
Principal Bailer was taken back by this and Gary continued "the fact remains an inappropriate song was sung on the bus by the first grader and the two fifth graders egged him on."
The principal asked "what song did that little boy sing?"
Lance shook his head because he didn't want to admit to singing anything on a school bus other than "the wheels on the bus go round and round" but he knew that would be a lie.
Gary insisted "it just so happens I've not forgotten the song he sang and I know he hasn't either but he won't fess up so I'll have to sing it."
Gary stands in the center of the main office and sways side to side. Then he sings.
"We live in France where the naked ladies dance. There's a king and a queen they're both very obscene. There is a hole in the wall where the knights look to see it all.
There's a great big tower where the princess takes a shower."
After that Andrea Cusack said in a silly voice "oh good an old man sang a silly song in the principal's office."
Gary was infuriated and he yelled "Goddamn it this is why kids gets kid away with everything!"
The school principal yelled "Mister Wells that is enough. We cannot have profane language in this school. I'm tearing up these disciplinary reports and sending the kids back to class."
When Lance got back to class he took his seat and his teacher walked up to his desk to ask him "what was that all about?"
Lance told his teacher he'd been cleared by the principal and showed her his pass back to the classroom.
Mrs. Howl stated "alright I don't know what that was about but I will give you the benefit of the doubt. The assignment today is to color this worksheet on the country of France."
Later that evening Lance was eating dinner and his parents were both staring at him.
He asked if he had food on his face and they both responded "no but we want to talk to you about the bus driver report."
Lance said "that's over with."
Kevin said firmly "Lance" and then Lance exhaled and put his fork down.
Kevin stated firmly "the fact is the bus driver had his eye on the grandson of his ex-girlfriend along with her grandson's best friend. However I want to point out that if any other bus driver had written you up for singing that song it would have been valid."
Lance stated firmly "nice bus drivers don't write me up."
Kevin snapped "Lance we know you sang that song on the bus to impress those older boys."
Lance nodded with a smile.
Tina stated firmly "don't think you can get away with anything. Today you were incredibly lucky."
Lance puts his head down on the dinner table.
Kevin scolded him and told him to finish his dinner.
The End