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Rated: 13+ · Assignment · Mystery · #2306304
Counting Words and Other Ways to Die
Who is(are) the character(s)? I want to write a story about a middle-aged woman I keep calling “Dumpy” who goes on a writing retreat that turns deadly. Like that whole “write or die” app based on word count, except with a taste of Gothic ghost story / asylum.

Dumpy is in her mid-40’s, and unhappy with where she is at in her life. She is tired all the time, takes a ton of medication, and feels unmotivated. This could be perceived as “oh, poor white lady, I’m so sad for Karen” territory, but I’m not sure how to get around that since, um, I’m a dumpy white lady in my mid-40’s, and here we are.

Why do we care about them? We care about Dumpy because she is trying to take action to better herself, and we want to cheer her on. It’s hard for potatoes to get off the couch. We love to see it! Go, Dumpy, go!

She has a supportive husband off-screen, and a really encouraging adult child who offers quirky advice and fun quips. Dumpy has reasons to rise to this challenge, and failing to leave the writing retreat with a completed draft would be a kind of mental death. She doesn’t want to let her family down, but more importantly, she doesn’t want to be the loser she suspects she really is. Surviving the retreat is the first step toward becoming the person she wants to be.

What happens to them? Dumpy arrives at the writing retreat and signs in, where she discovers she has been assigned a roommate. This is Odd Thing #1 as Dumpy had paid for an individual room, but since she doesn’t get out much and doesn’t want to start off the weekend making waves, she figures it’s no big deal and she can just address the financial disparity after the weekend is over. This is not a weekend for administrative bullshittery. It’s a weekend to Write All The Words.

Odd Thing #2 is that the staff takes everyone’s phones. This was definitely not in the brochure, but the director assures everyone that participants are more likely to get work done without distractions, which isn’t entirely wrong. After some arguments from various retreaters, however, the director relents and says she will allow them an hour every night to check in with loved ones at home. This seems like a fair compromise, although Dumpy admittedly does still feel a bit uneasy.

Odd Thing #3 occurs when Roomy asks for a tampon as she has just started her period. Dumpy carries a few emergency supplies even though she recently had a hysterectomy and is done having kids, a sore subject as she hasn’t fully emotionally reconciled herself to this fact. Roomy leaves bloody clothes all over the bathroom floor, the sight of which leaves Dumpy feeling woozy. It seems like a lot more than just a small leak. Yikes!

After unpacking, Dumpy is left in the room alone, and decides to explore the grounds a bit since there is still an hour before dinner. The building in which they are staying is a convent that gets rented out for events such as this retreat, and the attached Catholic church is lovely, albeit slightly creepy. Bells rings randomly, and chanting floats across the large garden. The trees loom tall, but there are also weeping willows drooping over the rock paths. Dirt trails disappear into overgrowth. Dumpy follows one of the trails and passes several moss-covered statues, various angels covering their eyes and stone children dancing in circles. The trail leads to a stagnant pond covered in petals and lilies. Frogs jump from the bank to the pads as she approaches, causing a cacophony of bugs to start humming and birds to start cawing. Dumpy circles the pond and comes to a rusty gate covered in sunflowers. It opens into another garden where she finds an old swing-set, upon which sits what appears to be a gardener, who tells Dumpy to be sure not to miss the labyrinth. She points back the way Dumpy came. Dumpy doesn’t want to be rude so she turns around and leaves the strange park, walking further around the pond until she finds the maze, set flat into the ground like a crop circle. She meets more staff and they tell her other weird stuff, offering strange advice and giving her unexpected presents to take back with her to the retreat building.

Dumpy returns to the main building for dinner. Introductions ensue, followed by ice-breaking activities. The retreat attendees are given composition books in which to journal and record their impressions during the impending week. Nothing seems out of the ordinary, until Dumpy returns to her room, where she finds blood covering everything. She runs back out to the gathering hall but there is no sign of her roommate anywhere. Staff then further confuses the issue by insisting she doesn’t have a roommate, and they pull up records to prove that Dumpy paid for a single. She returns to her room but everything is back where it was, no blood, and no sign that there was ever another person occupying the shared space. She starts to feel a bit crazy at this point, but is determined to find Roomy even if no one else seems concerned.

Why is it a problem? Dumpy now has two outer problems (WANTS) and two inner problems (NEEDS). When she first arrived, she just wanted to complete her novel, and now she wants to solve the mystery. But on a more personal level, she needs to find her own Purpose In Life (motivation to carry on, reason for being, etc.), and she needs to deal with her obvious insecurity over no longer being able to have children -- an insecurity she hasn't even admitted to herself.

Searching for her roommate is a distraction from writing her book, which is in itself a distraction from handling her emotional issues, both of which are obviously intertwined – which is to say, maybe if she can “find” herself, she can stop pining over the children she will never have. But first thing's first: What happened to her roommate and and what the holy hell is going on at this retreat?
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