pwheeler review: Twisted Thanksgiving

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Twisted Thanksgiving
#2186670


I selected this piece to review. I read some of your other Dark Poetry and Short Stories and found them all well-written and fascinating. I love this type of genre.
You set the scene very well with the descriptions of the father, his sons, his daughter, and the mother. According to the father, I could quickly tell where everyone's place was in the family and their worth. The reader quickly and promptly begins to know whom they should root for and for whom they must watch out. I thought at first that the sons would be more sympathetic toward their sister and mother, but that quickly changed.
Synopsis:
When dinner began, the tension in the room you created was so palatable that I felt I would have hidden it if I were there - excellent job.
When the boys get carried away, and the father becomes angry, they are not immune to his wrath. The way you depicted him, I could have seen him swat a few of them around quickly and then in seconds without giving what he did a second thought.
The mother knew what to do when the tension was at its highest. She calmly went to the kitchen, got a whiskey for the father, and gave it to him.
Soon, the father passes out.
One of the boys admitted to lacing the liquor with sleeping medicine, thinking they all could use a good night.
Knowing this and giving the father the whiskey anyway, the mother tells the children it is time for pumpkin pie.
This is an incredible story to read. It kept my attention. I wanted to keep reading to find out what was happening next. While reading, I am invested in the story.
What Worked:
For such a short story, your character development and placement within the plot. By this, I mean to carry the story where it needed to go, the characters needed to be in a particular developmental stage. You couldn't have a mother who was self-assured or combative to a husband like this or very submissive children who would not have caused the ruckus at the table - that father wouldn't have blown up, and the whisky would not be served. On the other hand, the father could have been too much of an abuser and, well, get physically abusive, and we won't go where that could have led. In my long-winded way, you made everyone exactly how they needed to be.
There wasn't much dialogue, and it worked perfectly. You said what needed to be said. I wouldn't change anything.
I enjoyed the ending - it surprised me. When it came to the part where the dad blew up, I had no idea where it was going. After reading the ending, I thought nothing could have been better. Wonderful job.
Other Thoughts:
When using the terms "mom and dad" as nouns, they needed capitalization as names "Mom - Dad."
There were a couple of places where commas were required and not provided.
Parting Words:
Interesting
Enjoyable
Intriguing
Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious
         OK - That might be a bit much - but it is good.