Idk, what's the fuckin point

I am still in the process of writing and editing this (like much of what I write/post/think) I got the main thoughts outta my head, y'all muthafuckas still want me dead?? Fuck this online craziness, wtf we all bein' fed?

This wound's been festering for so many years, the necrotic rot infecting, infiltrating our systems, clogging up the gears like a mass of monocytes, they full of germophobic fear, now they phagocytes who can't find their way back to the light, stuck inside a rough and rugged landscape of black death, like the plague, but instead of the Xenopsylla cheopis (oriental rat fleas), we got humans out there who think that livin' is all just free and easy, now they been pushed to the outskirts, they crawlin' outta their deep cells now, time to debride the wound

Now!
I need an 18g (gauge) needle, a 250mL (milliliters, or cc for cubic centimeters) bag of saline solution / keep it all sterile don't wanna start no pathogenic evolution / imma refresh these edges / no concerns about the concave depression / see heart muscle regenerates (there's your biology lesson) / won't be long now, pass me a #10 c/s (carbon steel) blade, and a set of olsen-heger needle drivers, just a little more time and I'll be ready to close this peritoneum / with my trusty brand name suture (it's even pre-prepped with a 1/2" curved reverse-cutting needle)

Have I achieved the levels yet?
Have I appropriately adhered to your S.O.P.'s?
Are you satisfied with my performance at work?
What about my life?
Am I good enough?
Are you satisfied with your terms and conditions?
Am I up to standard yet?

Bury it all deep inside and never let them see you cry
Don't ask me why I bother to try
<Should've slit her throat and watched her die>

Take me, date me, bend me, break me, rape me, hate me
<There's no escape here>
Just empty space / digital landscape / reach out my hand / searching for friends1, but there's no one around / and I don't play pretend

Maybe I resemble paper Mario, but I'm multidimensional, and the universe is bending, so now I'm Yuna, time for the ritual sending
Release the energies beneath our feet, trapped for a millenia, they deserve release
They're tired of suffering, drowning for years
Phosphorescence forgotten in rivers, lakes, oceanside countries
All the glimmering lights, fading from our memories

I miss my video game therapy sessions, the Crunchyroll forums, my online friends, but I'm all alone now and this world is ending,

Stuck here in this maze of cables, center of the labyrinth, spinning in circles

Where have all the humans gone? Guess they're busy online / trying to right all of our societies past wrongs / stuck in the past / but they runnin' outta gas / no more fuel for the fire / so they make up lies about lives they don't know / sewing together a patchwork quilt / but they just piecing together what's been pre-built / now I'm gettin wrapped up in the barbed wire fence / but fuck their governments and their corporate intentions / I got my wire cutters, dynamite, and my imaginative inventions

So fuck your steps and your corporate ladders
I overachieved your levels, learned from my battles
Leapt up in the air and grabbed onto a feather
Like Mario I floated straight up to heaven
Don't need no more lessons
Fuck your AlGore Rhythmic suggestions
And fuck your prerequisites, your standards are lemons
Past all the bullshit, let's see where this leads us.

No stress as I step upon the backs of the clouds
Saying whatever the fuck I want to out loud
I reach out to touch a gold coin high above
But it just shatters the fire in my heart, now it's cold
Gotta build a new fire from the depths of my soul

But I'm too old and jaded, I'm hated so now I'm fadin away, I don't exist in your photos, your memories, your recollections, I'm floatin free in the sky, just water vapor carried away in the breeze

Moving along now, cause this is my song, there's nowhere on earth that I belong, just a piece on the grid in this game of Tron

Write some more poetry / create some more art / I try my best / I do my part / but I fuckin suck at expressing how I actually feel / because all I know is the survival wheel / not sure how to escape this hamster deal / tryna express my feelings through messages / but it's never quite right / I never use the right words / so I slip away into the abyss / another life sentence / in silence I sit

My name's Chantelle
So ring that bell
Cause I'm ready to fight
The leaders and giants
The bigwigs that think
They can sweep me away
Roll me up in a rug
Shove me in a corner
Squash me like a bug

They tug on your heart strings
Wanna get y'all thinking
But most of them jingles
The advertisers usin'
They just plantin' ideas
They creatin' confusion
Like a constant rate infusion
Serotonin and dopamine
Neurotransmitters weaved
Throughout tha feed
Continue the illusion
AI manufactured delusion
Corporate technological collusion

They increase the anesthesia
Attemptin' ta' please ya
Gonna make y'all believe
We know exactly what you need!
So follow us into the future
'Cept for you—Skinny ass white girl with broken shoes
Shoulda received your Last Caress from Dr Death
Tossed your carcass into the river like all the rest
Useless females, incapable and weak
Good for nothing, just baby factories
Machines to do our cooking and cleaning

Let the vultures tear you apart
Worthless female pieces and parts
Us men don’t need ya! You're inferior!
We got science and technology
We can fashion you as we please
Build the Calcabrina doll
Grab a bottle of alcohol
And pass the lube / put on some tunes / got no excuses / nothing to lose
And nothing to gain, she got nothing ta say 'cause while she was busy below the sea, fighting the BioShock prophecies, I took away her rights and freedoms, excised her vocal chords silently, violently, got no worries now, this bitch be burnin' in hell

Now ya got yer android: high-speed high-tech robot supreme
Sex doll to satisfy all of your needs, whenever ya please!
No worrying about unplanned pregnancies
No child support battles, no one's on their knees
No romance, emotions, stories or dreams
Just vast empty space
So Congratulations! You won the race!
Here's your digital trophy—check it out now—it's a photo opportunity
So walk off the podium, fall on your face
Hope y'all enjoy free floatin through space...
Got one last surprise, before we all dies
The outer limits ain't what we think,
We're circlin' the drain in this digital sync.

Our final frontier is already here / scripted reality TV / now available digitally / so put on your glasses / gonna need all those virtual reality passes / 'cause the thieves be whisperin' in ya ear / forget what you know / 'cause it's time to go

We the guys who don't need dis-guise / 'Cause that's not how we like ta get high.
So fly a kite, take a vike / be like Christopher Pike Place brand name on the mic / cause now corps like Starbucks are runnin' our courts
Uh-oh, guess it's time for me to go / sit my ass back down 'cause what the fuck do I know? / Just a light-skinned woman, another fuckin Stan / couldn't possibly understand anything about the land / so get back in your tent / you a bloody mess / no one gives a fuck if you can't afford rent / you don't know how it is to really suffer / can't speak on subjects you haven't mastered / so shut tha fuck up ya dumb ass cunt / we hate every aspect / no side of ya is good / just out for yourself / just want a free lunch / gonna toss ya away / no one gonna notice / delete your existence / delete your photos / delete your memories / you obviously trollin' us

Couldn't possibly be a real human on the planet
who isn't afraid to tell our leaders
what she thinks freely
puts herself out there,
plain and unfiltered,
For the world to pick through and hack apart

Did you find anything special?
Any sparkly fucking gems in my history?
Did it help you discover the secret to our shared humanity?
Did you construct a new arm on our digital tree?
Nah, that's just a body, cut it and it bleeds.
Watch her writhe in agony,
Douse her in acid, take a machete,
Lop off her knees,
Now don't forget the gasoline,
Tie her to the stake, it's her funeral pyre,
Burn the witch, she a nasty 'ol liar.
Destroy all she ever hoped to be,
She's trash
So burn
Fuck it all,
Just delete my goddamn DNA sequencing.

Footnotes
1  https://youtu.be/XEO7RCD7jVg?si=PQQIH6oriXKgP1ps