Too Much of Too Little

This is the first poem I'd written in over 3 years, written it in September of 2023. So, I don't believe this one is good to be honest; since before this one, I'd last written poetry in my English class in January of 2020 & this style is completely different than what I used to do. Also, I am NOT creative when it comes to names.

Anyways, enjoy "Too Much of Too Little":
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I often think the way I love is too quiet, yet too intense.
I don’t say I love you,
Instead it’s:
Soft pats & rubs of shoulders,
         The asking of “Are you eating enough? Sleeping?”
                   Drunken mumbles of “Go to bed, it’s late for you”
                             Turning off the lights when they’re sleeping.

…I never know if it’s too much of too little…
Saying the words, without being prompted,
         Is a herculean effort.
I wonder if my loved ones need to hear it,
         Rather than these small things.

The only time I can say it unprompted
         Is in drunken mumbles.
However,
My drinking makes them worried
         [Would it worry them worse if I told them that was the first time someone worried about it?]
How can I tell them?
         Without prompting, without the drinking
How can I say “I Love You”?

I often think I love too intensely & too quietly.
Too much of too little.