My Father and Me

In lessons from my father, long ago, so tender,
Five fingers raised, a teaching, a life's grand splendor.
First, God's reverence, sacred and profound,
Second, family's love, a refuge to be found.
Third, ministry's call, a purpose to aspire,
Fourth, a career's journey, dreams that never tire.

Last, ourselves, though humbly placed on the shelf,
Each step, a testament to life's intricate self.
Within ourselves, in humbleness we reside,
Yet in this solemn order, my heart, it can't hide.

My father's love, I hold it close and dear,
He whispers it to me, and I can always hear.
My father's love, he voices every day,
But there's a truth that lingers, won't go away.

I sense a deeper love, devout and vast,
For the faith he follows steadfast, to the last.
God's love, profound, in my father's embrace,
Leaves a question in my heart, a tender space.
For as long as he believes God's decree,
I dare not challenge, for I know my place, you see.

I know my “rightful” place,
I bear the weight of faith upon my face.
In this intricate weave of love and despair,
I tread my path, with a heavy heart, aware.

He says I may be destined for hell, in life's damnation,
My choices, my existence, are seen as mere aberration.
He claims I've turned my back, strayed from the divine track,
But can it truly be wrong, when it makes my heart react?

How can I accept a life of misery and conformity,
When it's the path of my heart's deepest anomaly?
To fit within their molds, where my spirit feels confined,
Or embrace the rocky road, my true self intertwined?

For he loves God first, and in God's path, he'll trace.
And it is he who holds the key to eternal grace.
He claims to know what's best, in wisdom's tender flow,
So, in hushed obedience, I dare not let it show.

My voice remains a whisper, a silent, steadfast trace,
For I know my place, in the shadow's gentle embrace.
He walks in faith's warm light, his heart devout and wide,
And I, in quiet reverence, in the shadows will reside.

Even so, I find solace in the unknown,
For in the questions, a beauty is sown.
How can the heart's yearnings be misplaced,
In the grand theater of life, so perfectly spaced?

In these swirling questions, I seek a path to find,
A life that's truly mine, my heart and soul combined.
Though they may judge and cast their doubts upon me,
I'll chase a life of authenticity, wild and fiercely free.

For in the whispers of my soul, a truth persists,
I'll endure life's hardships, with every trial and twist.
I'll stand in my own light, with courage and decree,
To live a life that's genuine, unshackled, and free.

I don't believe in damnation's fiery flame,
Nor that my choices contradict faith's sacred name.
In the end, isn't it a conversation just for two,
Between me and the divine, a closed avenue?

For it's more than just the physical, this flesh and bone,
Our minds, our spirits, in this journey we've known.
The essence of our being, our sense of self, profound,
Deserves recognition too, on this holy ground.