Midwestern Goodbye

Midwestern Goodbye


It's been a pleasant visit, but now it's time to go.
You've talked about the relatives from Aunt Betty to Uncle Joe.
A beer or two covered what the cousins did last year
and the discussion about the election caused another to disappear.
Your wife has covered all the troubles with the kids
and ferreted out, finally, what it was that Sammy did!
Your can of beer is empty and you still need to drive,
but then the grandkids and their parents suddenly arrive.
Several discussions later, and you are finally in the car
and someone says, "Oh! One last thing ..." --didn't make it very far!
The sun's gone down, now's there's talk about a fire
and Kenny's asking if you might take a peek at his drier.
Your wife rolls her eyes, you hear unspoken "WHY?"
But that's how it goes--the Midwestern Goodbye.

Two hours later, at least you've been fed,
and the women are off somewhere putting the littles to bed.
You've surrendered the car keys, the last four did you in,
and you know that's a fight the wife won't let you win!
Back to the car, family history complete,
your head is full as you collapse in your seat.
"Oh, but wait! Did we tell you 'bout Conway and Percy?
Ran into a deer, oh Lord have Mercy!
The deer ran away but the truck is toasted.
I got me a ten point! Someone else boasted.
Don't really care by now, but that isn't nice. . .
and then Kenny chimes in that he did that twice!
Your wife hits reverse, she's done feeling shy.
She hits the road, she's had enough. "We love you. Good Bye!'