Lessons in the Game

“It’s your turn.”

“Okay, the couple in the corner.”

“Got it.”

“They’re on a date.”

“I would say they’re married.”

“That’s why you’re not good at this game.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really! Watch his eyes. He’s looking around at all the pretty girls in here. And she sees it.”

“He’s a man. He’s a pig like the rest of you.”

“Let me clue you in on a very well-known, indisputable, uncontestable, dyed-in-wool fact that hangs like a neon banner inside every male psyche across the universe…One doesn’t stay married long if you’re dumb enough to let your wife catch you sneaking peeks at pretty girls as they walk past your table.”

“That’s probably a pretty good philosophy.”

“That’s not a “philosophy,” sweetheart. It’s survival instincts. It proves Darwin’s theory. The strong survive…”

“Okay… carry on old wise husband.”

“Okay. Right now, that girl is thinking about unbuttoning a few buttons on her shirt.”

“Why?”

“To compete with all the good-looking babes in here!”

“All the good-looking babes in here? You, my friend, are a pig.”

“I’m a realist.”

“Your point is, and correct me if I’m wrong; for that woman to regain attention from her “date,” she has to bare her bosoms.”

“No! Not ‘bare her bosoms!’ Don’t be ridiculous.”

“What then?”

“Oh, don’t pretend you never used your bosoms for your advantage.”

“Darling, look at that woman now.”

“Is she crying?”

“I would say, she’s sobbing into her cloth napkin.”

“Why?”

“Oh, you are a sweet, sweet, darling man. There is so much more you need to learn about women…”

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