Sparrowsight's Ending

         The musky scent of forest was the first thing the large brown tabby she-cat scented as she woke, surrounded by thick forests that seemed to spread on as far as she could see on all sides. The air itself was suffocating in her lungs as panic flashed through her mind - she knew exactly where she was. No stars would ever shine on her here.
         She tried recounting the final few moments of her life, but all she could tear from her memory was breathing in with no effect and watching as her last crimson life spilled onto the rocks of a once-great shining stone in the depths of a cave she had spent her nine lives protecting. What had I ever done to deserve being killed in such a way? I lead my clan; I lead them well. I let them sleep on full bellies and made sure we had no outside threats. I kept peace even when tension sparked in the air, and I kept us safe - even if my own clan hated me for doing it.
         She had visited this hellscape in her dreams before, the nightmarish sights and scents almost familiar to her as she picked herself up onto her paws. She had spent nights training with other cats, and countless more nights wandering the forests without seeing the slightest trace of any cat else. She had first come here in the depths of her anger, her frustrations turning her heart dark as it felt like a piece of her had left, but the cats here had welcomed her and let her lead better and stronger than she had ever done before.
         It was never bad for me to be here. They helped me. Her thoughts spiralled as she took a direction to wander in, pushing through the trees of this endless dark labyrinth, hunger beginning to claw at her belly as her nose brought in no prey-scent. Then the reality of her situation set into her mind, her gaze widening as she realised quite where she had been stranded. I-I'm stuck here. This will be my home, alone and hungry, until I fade... And my legacy won't fade any time soon. What have I done? Why am I condemned to such a place?
         She knew there was no point to call out for help. Who would, in such a place? Is there anyone even nearby? She felt the fur on her shoulders rise as if a pair of eyes were watching her, but as she looked around, she found nothing at all. She was alone, completely alone.
         Resting on her side in the mucky undergrowth of the starless expanse, she then began to look through the memories of the time before she was Sparrowstar, before she was condemned to her lonely life by her own ambition. Her thoughts first flickered to Rainfall, one of the most respected members of the clan who she had only made an enemy with. She knew that if she had been smarter, she should have befriended the cat and kept them by her side as the commander she had never named in life. They were smarter, nobler, and more responsible than she had ever been as Sparrowstar. The first cat to speak out against her and the main cat to work against her. Why didn't I work with them and trust them? Why didn't I at least try to make things right? Why had I worked so arrogantly to put them down? I was so foolish.
         She felt as though she was nothing at all, a ghostly shell of herself as her thoughts finally flickered to the next. Barkcavern, the cat she had been deputy under, and the cat she had killed in a surge of emotion. Why did I ever think that it was a good idea? What controlled my paws in those few fiery moments by the lake? Why couldn't I just have talked, just have smoothed my concerns out? I condemned myself, in those moments, to walk this path to my own cold demise - alone. I may have never agreed with his words or his actions, but I was such a fool to let claws decide my fate instead of words. What have I done?
         She felt as though she could hardly move as her thoughts finally began to swivel to the tan pelt of a valued clanmate. Sandstone, the most caring cat in the whole clan who she had never treated right as Sparrowstar. Shame rushed through her pelt as she remembered scarring the tomcat's muzzle with her claws in a fit of anger than seemed greater than she could have ever made herself, the darkness in her mind overwhelming as Barkcavern's far brighter presence seemed to undermine everything she had done. Why had she ever thought of doing that? The cat was obviously still grieving the loss of Thrush, and she had scarred their muzzle with no thought. What was wrong with me? Why did I ever think I was fit to lead this clan? Sandstone had been stronger in that moment than she could have ever been as Sparrowstar.
         Her thoughts seemed to chew away at her strength, her head resting against the dewy floor as she no longer wished to move at all. Her thoughts then rested on the small figure that had spent so long beside Sandstone. Thrush, the small she-kit who never talked but knew far more than Sparrow ever did, all locked behind her milky white eyes. I remember her first days here, afraid and scared in a tunnel with cats she hardly knew. She was only calmed by the Moonstone, and she spent more time observing it than any Healer ever could. I should've paid more attention to her, comforted her more like a noble clan leader would have done, made her feel at home.
         She noticed the dew had formed into a pool by her maw, slowly seeping into her mouth as her thoughts flickered to Mirage, the she-cat she felt as if she had once loved. She remembered admiring the she-cat as they became a Healer apprentice and then a fully-fledged healer. She remembered catching more prey specifically for the she-cat in attempt to impress them - to be noticed by them in the hopes of a future together. She remembered becoming a commander, and how the only cat's praise that meant anything at all was hers. But why did my emotion leave me on my eighth life? Why did Mirage's face mean so little to me after it had once meant so much? What happened to me? What happened to the future the two of us could've had together? Why was I torn apart like I was?
         She started to feel the pool run into her chest, her weak coughs failing to expel the water as she laid still on her side. She knew the water could and would kill her if she stayed still, but she was tired. She was tired of the immense grief and realisation that laid on her. She was tired of fighting to look strong, to prove to herself she was. She was tired of everything, and her legs agreed with her. She couldn't move even if she wanted to, the pool gently rising against her rising and falling sides.
         I have been a terrible leader and a terrible clanmate. I was never fit to lead, and I threw away the cat I loved in my greed and lust for power. What point is there to fight? What point is there to roam endlessly in this hellscape? No cat will remember me in a positive light, and that's what I deserve. I can only hope to be forgotten, and I know my pleas of sorry will never be forgiven.
         A pleasant memory of distant past flittered into her mind as she began to lose the fight for breath against the pool - against her grief and her exhaustion. It was a warm full moon, the Thunderpath was clear as Mirage and her snuck out of camp to watch the silverpelt. She had never been so happy and so calm as the two sat and watched the moon, talking in hushed voices as the caterwauls from the four trees in the distance felt like a murmur on the wind. She had fallen in love with this cat, and she knew her eyes showed it as Mirage looked at her. As her vision faded to black with the memory fading with it, she wondered if the moon or Mirage's eyes shined brighter in that moment.
         Then, at long last, she wondered no more.