Saving the World

"So, we've got ourselves a broody teenager, an ogre who bakes—very badly, I might add—and a giant fish with no eyes? To save the world? I don’t trust any of them, John."

"We can hear you, you know," the fish bubbled indignantly.

"Look, we need at least five for the guard post and the sewers if we want the plan to work. These were the only ones willing."

"No one’s willing to commit treason, John! Of course they want something in return! Where did you even find them?"

"I call guard duty," the ogre chimed in with a deep, rumbling voice.

"I ain’t touching the damn sewers in these boots!" the fish screamed, splashing water in irritation.

"Listen, either we make the best of what we have here, or you sit around waiting for your little suicide squad to pop out of thin air while the king burns your house down next."

"Ugh. Can the baker at least use a knife?"

"He can use an oven…?"

Outside, the ogre giggled proudly. "Best pies this side of the mountain!"

Lydia pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to hold back her frustration. Then, with a deep breath, she asked, "Well, at least tell me our car is working."

"About that… someone, maybe, kind of, ran off with our engine."

"What?!"

"But we can fix it! We just need… some parts."

"We need an entire engine, John. We don’t have a penny for bread. You gonna spawn an engine out of thin air? And how did you even lose an engine!?"

"Sheesh, calm down, lady," the teenager muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Lydia, look, I have a plan."

"We are not stealing."

"We can… come up with something better."

"I hate you."