EDDIE'S Revenge

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions!”

Well how do they know? For they've never heard Eddie the heads. . . Wicked master plan!>

Chapter 1...

At 2 minutes to midnight on the: 21st December 2023, a 12-foot-tall zombified creature that is better known to the heavy metal community as; Eddie from the English band. . . Iron Maiden, was beyond enraged! Steve Harris: the bass player and founder of the London heavy rock outfit; had informed their giant egocentric, and crazed mascot of yet another rebirth. The band wanted their famous creation to change its appearance, yet again.

Well, it got up out of its humungous red leather chair: at his master's home; in Essex, London, England. The grotesque-looking beast stood up in front of Sir Steve Harris: the greatest musician of any generation; moaned and complained, saying in a rough, and monstrous voice,

“NO, NOT ANOTHER F × × X ING BODY FOR YOU TO STRUT ME AROUND ON STAGE; JUST TO SHOW ME OFF TO YOUR NUTCASE FANATIC, HEADBANGING CROWD!

WHAT IS FLIPPING BONKERS ALBUM COVER, DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE IMMORTALIZED IN THIS TIME?

GET IT THROUGH YOUR WARPED MIND: I'M NOT HAVING MY PRECIOUS BODY RIPPED APART FOR A NEW ONE;SO THE CRAZY KIDS, CAN BE ENTERTAINED Again!

THINGS ARE A FOOT, YOU LUNATIC METAL HEAD, FOR I PROCLAIM MY Ultimate DELIGHTFUL AND TWISTED REVENGE UPON YOU, AND THE FREAKISH MAIDEN BOYS. I AM ABOUT TO HAVE MY GLORIOUS FUN; AS I EXECUTE A MASTERFUL PLAN.

HE. HE HE!”

Steve, rolled his eyes and shot down his demented mascot’s ranting; screaming at his band's real-life creation, in his thick London accent. . .

"Eddie, you are a headcase! What on earth can you possibly be whining about this time? Don't we give you enough food, and drink to feed an army, and enough for seconds? We take you on our tours across the globe, on EDD Force one; entertain you with our epic tunes; plus all the women your heart desires, yet you still complain.!”

The Samurai-looking Eddie walked over to the Barnyard studios and smashed his humungous fist, immensely hard, down upon his creator’s production desk. He broke it clean in two while bellowing at the Iron Maiden architect,

“STEVE HARRIS, YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT A GOD!

So you’d better stop treating me like your personal slave, or else! You say that I am a member of your band, and you treat me with the same respect; plus all the same benefits as the boys.

Well, how come you lock me in a penitentiary; when I'm not being forced to troop around on stage? You throw cold scraps of indescribable fodder at me! You force me to scramble around my dungeon floor; while chained to a rusty, and backbreaking.

Your disgusting deafening and irritating tones that I am involuntarily forced upon my senses, every night. It is beyond irritating and makes my gigantic ears bleed!

I am sick of this wretched, so-called pointless existence! Why can’t you see that pulling off my body; every time you change your bloody album cover, it is flipping excruciating? I have to sustain the greatest torture ever!

You write about the devil! Well, let's see how you deal with the real fallen angel in hell. . .

HE. HE. HE!!!”

Steve, the quiet man of rock; was mortified at the normal gentle giant's violence and attitude. The creator of harmonious, delightful heavy music sighed heavily; raising to his feet, the Londoner got angry with his monstrous invention. He screamed at the twelve-foot annoying mascot,

“For flipping heck's sake, Eddie: really? Look what you've done to my bloody studio. I haven't got time for this crap! I'm on a deadline to get this record launched, and I have to sit with another bloody artist, to design another album cover. Rod will have my guts for garters, definitely, and your complaint is: how are you treated? Bruce will rip your flipping brains out again, just like at Dortmund, eh?

Do you have the funds to replace this broken sound deck, Mr. Head? No, I didn't think so. Any more shit, I will put you in the Iron Maiden; the medieval torcher device on stage, at Download 2024. So go to your dungeon, thinking hard about your crazed actions, and wait for your reincarnation. Now F off out my sight, you oversized hideous annoying baby.”

Eddie felt even more enraged, so he picked up his master and creator by the neck, raising him high in the air. He grunted at the epic bass player,

“Mr. Harris, you are going to learn the word: respect, the bloody hard way! Do you know who I am? I only wanted to be included more; on and off-stage, in the creative development of your dinosaur band. You're just a bunch of tone-deaf old farts!”

Unexapedidly Steve Harris saw a blinding red glow: coming from Eddie the Head's eyes and within an instant; the grotesque beast had zapped them out of the Barnyard studios, in Essex. The immortalized mascot teleported them to hell. Eddie dropped Steve to the piecing-hot floor and the musician screamed in pain, but Eddie just laughed and said,

“Welcome to hell, master! Look who's waiting for your soul, lord Satan; he's promised me fame and fortune if I deliver the Iron Maiden boys to him. So you won't be alone down here for all eternity. You can contemplate the notion: should I have treated Eddie better?

Ha ha ha!! Cheer up Steve, you should be used to this place; you've written about it in your songs, long enough!”

And with that, Maiden’s very long-time suffering mascot vanished and left Steve; trapped in the bowls of where the wicked and sinful reside. The greatest band's founding father: stood on the steaming hot service of hell, staring right at the devil. The friendly and easy-going man, sh at the red disfigured creature,

“Don't think for one second, will I or any of my bandmates stay in this shithole, you're just a cruel smeg for brains!

With that, the greatest man in heavy metal; stuck two fingers up at Lucifer and walked off, to find a way out of his hellish predicament.

An instant later, a phenomenal wicked screeching uproar: bellowed around the blazing underworld and Mr. Steve Harris, halted in his run for freedom. His skull pulsated at a trillion miles per hour; whilst his ears rang like a church bell.

The best bass player of any century felt frozen to the spot, with fear. Following that, an inhumane growling voice echoed throughout the bowls of the hellish location; which felt like Sir Steve Harris was caught in the centre of a tornado or being swept up by a Tsunami, and dragged back out to sea. The uncaring, misery bestowed, towards all life, streaked with laughter; growling into the Iron Maiden founder’s soul, and said,

“Ha! Ha! Ha! There's no escape down in the pits of my domain: music enforcer on humanity; for you are precisely where you want to be! You belong on the right-hand side of me, for all the wickedness you have shared with the world. You can't run away from the lord, Lucifer! I am the real God of everything; you will bow down in the presence of royalty, and unadulterated pure blissful wickedness! You and your wretched mob of melody makers will be my homered slaves; in my humble chambers of hell, for all eternity.

So Mr. Harris, get used to it, or Eddie will be teleporting the rest of your useless family and friends down here! Do you understand? Well, tough if you don't, for I don't give a rat's ass what you think, this is what's happening; so get used to your new blissful predicament and surroundings. Now do as I demand go and get to work and dig this rock; so my beautiful domain is Exponentially never-ending, Ha! He. Ha.”

Steve regained the feelings in his body and fell hard to the fiery rock, in the demonic environment that he'd been forced to injure. He closed his eyes and put his famous hands to his face; then began to think of his wife, son and three daughters, back in his Essex home, without him. He longed to hear and see them again, but would never wish to bestow this hellish underworld upon them or any living person in the universe ever.

So the great heavy metal creator picked up the boiling hot axe that the devil had materialized on the floor, in front of him. After screaming of his flesh burning off for what felt like an eternity, the father of the greatest music that has ever existed found himself obeying that vicious heinous beast; by digging into the vast extraordinary hot rock. He continued to navigate his subconscious for any plausible solution, so he could escape this ultra-heinous inprisimont. The music producer and creator of the greatest band in the universe began to form a thought in his creative mind,

“What unrealistic torment did I bestow upon that bloody Eddie the head; to warrant my suffering, in this cruel and abominable place forever?

Chapter Two

Meanwhile, Rod Smallwood; the manager of the baand phoned Steve's children which included Stanley and Lauran and his wife Emma, that the basest was missing from the Essex recording studio and the producer Kevin Shirley had no idea of his location, but that Eddie the head had vanished also. Unaware of the band and record company the infuriating mascot had used his powers to transport himself to Florida where the magnificent guitarist Sir Dave Murrey was in his vast back garden and his chief Tina Malkin was cooking plant burgers for the health-conscious vegan. He was relaxing around his swimming pool.

From out of thin air Eddie materialized, and the scary-looking creature was dressed in his somewhere-in-time clothes holding a laser gun and pointed it at Dave’s head shouting,

“I’m sick of your infuriating solos, you're coming with me, alive or dead Mr Murray!”

He and his guests burst into side-splitting laughter, that was until Mr head grabbed hold of the guitarist by his long hair and zapped him from Florida and straight into the mouth of hell to be with his bandmate, Steve. The undead creature then vanished leaving Dave trapped, and Daves's wife Tamar was screaming and ran around the swimming pool in complete mayhem. Tasha Murray, Daves's eight-year-old daughter walked over to her Hawaiian mother and said,

“Don’t worry mum it’s that demented Maiden mascot, having fun games with Dad and the band again. I’m sure Eddie will get bored of his hide and seek and bring dear old dad home in due course!”

Dave’s gorgeous wife took a long slow deep breath and shouted,

“Wait till that manager hears from me, i thought we were keeping a tight leash on the monster eh?

In hell Dave is fuming and bellows,

“ what’s up with that ignoramus mascot this time Steve? He’s lost his brains again for sure! What the heck does he think he’s doing trapping us in hell and on my bloody day off with Tamar and Tasha too? I was just eating a succulent burger. I thought we pay Rodney Blooming Smallwood to keep that oversized grotesque pain in the ass, on a tight leash after his last escapade in Brazil with the Christ the Redeemer statue? He’s getting too big for his boots Steve, but we did create him after all, it’s our fault. Hang on, is he bringing all of us down here in the bowels of hell?”

Steve tried to reassure his great friend of 50 years by saying,

“Don’t worry, Dave I have a plan to get us out of here, I’ve seen Bill and Ted, we just have to melvin death he he. But that creation our ours has certainly lost his mind this time, all because he doesn’t want a new body, you think he’d be happy changing his appearance eh? Bruce is going to do is nut and will want to kill him just like Dortmand in 1983.

The two greatest guitarists sat on a rock and contemplated their escape while Eddie had yet more fun.

Chapter 3…

Meanwhile, back in hell, Eddie the head was wreaking havoc like never before. He had successfully trapped two of Iron Maiden's most iconic guitarists in the fiery pits of the underworld, and now he set his sights on the rest of the band.

The next target on Eddie's list was the legendary frontman, Bruce Dickinson. The demented mascot appeared in front of Bruce while he was flying his beloved vintage plane over the English countryside. Startled and bewildered, Bruce tried to steer the plane away from the monstrous creature, but it was no use. Eddie zapped Bruce out of the sky and into the depths of hell, leaving his plane to crash into a nearby field.

As Bruce regained his bearings in the infernal realm, he saw Steve and Dave sitting on a rock, deep in conversation. He walked over to them, a mix of anger and confusion on his face.

What in the bloody hell is going on here? Bruce demanded, his eyes blazing with intensity. Steve, Dave, why are we in this godforsaken place? And where is that bloody mascot of ours?

Steve and Dave quickly filled Bruce in on the situation, explaining how Eddie had lured them all to hell with his demented master plan. Bruce listened intently, his mind racing with thoughts of how to escape this nightmare.

We need to come up with a plan to outsmart that oversized monstrosity, Bruce said, his voice filled with determination. We can't let him get the better of us. We need to find a way to break free from this place and get back to our loved ones and fans.

The three bandmates sat in silence, contemplating their next move. Suddenly, a booming voice echoed through the fiery caverns of hell, causing the ground to shake and the flames to dance wildly.

You think you can outwit me, mere mortals? the voice taunted, sending chills down their spines. I am the ruler of this domain, and you will never escape my grasp.

But the Iron Maiden boys were not ones to back down from a challenge. With renewed determination, they hatched a daring plan to take down Eddie the head and escape from hell once and for all.

Bruce screamed like his on-stage persona of an air raid siren,

‘We are coming for you no matter where you are because we are Iron flipping Maiden!’

Chapter 4

Meanwhile, back in London, Rod Smallwood, the band manager was pulling his hair out trying to figure out where Eddie had taken Bruce, Steve and Dave. He frantically made calls to the rest of the band members; Adrian, Nicko, and Janic, who were all equally concerned about their missing bandmates.

As Rod was about to call the authorities to report the disappearances, he received a call from an unknown number. Hesitantly, he answered the phone and was greeted by the familiar growling voice of Eddie the Head.

“Roddy boy, fancy a game of hide and seek? I’ve got a little surprise for you at the end,” Eddie said with a wicked cackle.

Rod’s heart sank as he realized that Eddie had taken him too. He found himself teleported to the fiery depths of hell, where he was greeted by the sight of Steve and Dave and Bruce, trying to come up with an escape plan.

“What the heck is going on here?!” Rod exclaimed, looking around in disbelief.

Steve and Dave and bruce quickly filled Rod in on their situation and the four of them began brainstorming ideas for getting out of hell. But as they deliberated, Eddie appeared before them once again,

“Welcome, dearest Rodney, to my wicked master plan!” Eddie proclaimed, a malevolent grin spreading across his monstrous face.

Mr Smallwood wailed into the fiery and shouted,

“I am a Yorkshire man, I can take any of your shit you freakish monster.”

Chapter Five

Mr Adrian Smith was fishing in Lake Louise in Canada and the fantastic lead guitarist got a huge bite. Thinking he’d caught a 45-pound shark, the quiet man slowly reeled in this monster of a fish but to his horror and frustration, it was Eddie playing games with him by yanking the line as hard as he could.

The first-rate musician pulled even harder at his pole and forced the mischievous reprobate onto dry land and covered head to toe in fishing line. Adrian scowled at the oversized beast, saying,

“What the flipping heck Eddie? It's the band’s day off and you want to play silly devils with me. You know how important fishing is to me. That serves you right, get untangled on your own, you annoying demonic fiend.”

But Eddie had other ideas up his iron maiden t-shirt and clicked his fingers. Suddenly Adrian found himself melting his Wellington boots in the pits of hell.

Adrain looked around bewildered and dazed but then found some of his band and manager breaking up rock and handcuffed to the floor. Adrian ran over to his good friends and tried to free them when Eddie shouted,

“Not so fast Mr Smith, you are a prisoner just like your fellow bandmates. I've captured you all for I'm going to take your music and fame and start a band called; Eddie the Heads and you all can stay in hell forever you overbearing noise polluters. So I'm off to have more fun, bye for now numbskulls.”

The four members of Maiden and Rod howled at their out-of-control mascot,

“Get back here your big back of bones, were bloody Iron Maiden you can't treat us like this. Making music? Don't make us laugh! Will find a way out you trickster and have our revenge on stage.”

But Eddie was long gone and zooming to a golf course in Florida

Chapter six

The party animal himself, Mr Nicko Mcbrain; the greatest and maddest drummer of any generation was playing golf with Davey Grohl from Foo Fighters and was in hole 18 of 22, where Nicko was thrashing Dave by two games to 1. Nick turned to Dave and said,

“You're doing well, me boy against the master golfer, the next hole is over the hill so we need the buggy.”

Suddenly Dave mysteriously materialises into Eddie and knocks Nicko out with his 666 Iron golf club. The story fan was horrified as he came handcuffed to the golf buggy going 150 miles per hour across the golf course. Nickowas mortified as his precious Florida golf course was being ripped up by a manic crazy hellhound. The tub basher yelped at the Iron Maiden mascot,

“Hay Eddie you mad bugger what do you think you're doing to this fine golf course. There's having fun and then being a lunatic. Wait until I speak to the bloody Yorkshireman, Mr Rodney Smallwood. You've gone too far this time Eddie I will be kicked off this fine club for sure.”

Eddie floored the buggy and dirt and grass Spewed up behind them the out-of-control wicked creature opened a portal and drove the vehicle straight to hell. He came to a grinding halt and skidded red-hot dirt into the faces of all the band and Rod. Nickoyelled,

“What is the meaning of this you oversized zombie? Get me back to my golf and family in Florida. What's going on Steve? I said that overgrown child was going to be trouble one day!”

The Eccentric drummer Sat next to his band mates and Rod sulked.

Meanwhile, Eddie was up to his no-good one more time

Chapter Seven

As Janick Gers made his way through the countryside to his mum and dad's home in Hartlepool and enjoyed the long walk from Essex, Eddie materialized in front of him with a mischievous grin on his face. Janick was taken aback by the sudden appearance of the menacing figure, but before he could react, Eddie pulled out a glowing guitar from thin air.

With a wicked glint in his eye, Eddie strummed the strings of the guitar, causing a ripple in reality and opening a dark portal to another dimension. Janick felt a rush of fear and excitement as he was pulled into the portal, unsure of what awaited him on the other side.

Then the Englishman saw exactly where Eddie had tricked him into coming and he could see his great friends from Iron Maiden and the devil was working then with his iron grip by wiping them to break up rocks with picks and Rod moved the dirt with a big black shovel.

Yan went over to his mates of more than 30 years and shouted at a hundred decibels,

“What the flipping heck is going on here dudes? We might be in hell and Satin has our souls but we are all have the Camaraderie and bravardo to outwit and outsmart that annoying devil and Eddie who pulls his strings. We're not going to run to the hills in fear of those oversized brutes are we? Were flipping Iron Maiden and we are the most badass metal band on the planet ever, so come guys don't give up, for we're an unstoppable force to be reckoned with.

Bruce and the rest of Maiden threw their picks on the hot floor and the six guys and Rod wailed,

“We are all blood brothers so let's battle those wicked beasts for our freedom!”

Chapter Eight

Andy Tayler the businessman of Iron Maiden and co-manager with Rod Smallwood received a telephone call from his record producer. Kevin Caveman Shirley, who was in Paris where he was putting the final touches to the new Maiden Record. The south African told the great producer and what Eddie had been up to. He told him

“Mr Tayler its Kevin your producer for Iron Maiden, I know normally I run everything by Steve and Rod but we have a serious problem for the guys and Rod is missing and Eddie has zapped them through some kind of portal so their families explained. They are still open and I say if that overgrown menace returns we get the greatest Maiden gamer, Lee Greatrex who plays the bands Legacy of the Beast and blasts him into the stratosphere, which will hopefully free the boys.

Chapter nine

Andy Taylor was shocked by the news and immediately contacted Lee Greatrex, the expert gamer who had been playing Legacy of the Beast for years. He explained the situation to Lee and asked for his help in rescuing the band from the clutches of Eddie the Head.

Lee, a master strategist in the virtual world, knew that he would need to use all his skills and creativity to outsmart the twisted mascot and free Iron Maiden from their hellish prison. He activated his gaming console, dove into the digital realm of Legacy of the Beast, and began formulating his plan.

As Lee navigated through the complex and challenging levels of the game, he encountered obstacles and enemies that tested his skills to the limit. But with determination and perseverance, he fought his way through, inching closer to the ultimate showdown with Eddie the Head.

Meanwhile, back in hell, the band and Rod were growing restless and anxious for their freedom. They knew that they needed to stay strong and unified in order to face whatever challenges lay ahead. With Janick Gers leading the charge and inspiring them with his words of camaraderie, they banded together, ready to confront their tormentor and reclaim their souls.

As the tension mounted and the stakes grew higher, Lee Greatrex finally reached the final level of Legacy of the Beast. In a heart-pounding climax, he faced off against Eddie the Head in an epic battle of wits and strategy. With lightning-fast reflexes and cunning tactics, Lee outmaneuvered the monstrous mascot and emerged victorious.

The moment of triumph was met with cheers and applause from the band and Rod, who watched in awe as Lee broke the spell that had trapped them in hell. The portal opened once more, and they found themselves back in the real world, free from the clutches of Eddie the Head.

As they embraced their newfound freedom and rejoiced in their victory, the band and Rod thanked Lee Greatrex for his bravery and skill in saving them from their untimely demise. They knew that they would never forget the harrowing ordeal they had faced, but they also knew that they were stronger and more united than ever before.

And so, Iron Maiden continued on their journey, creating legendary music and thrilling fans around the world with their unforgettable performances. And though the road to hell had been paved with good intentions, they had emerged stronger and more determined than ever to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

The legacy of Iron Maiden would live on, forever immortalized in the hearts of their fans and in the annals of rock history. And Eddie the Head, though a formidable foe, had ultimately been no match for the indomitable spirit of the greatest heavy metal band of all time, so up the irons forever!