Another day, another dawn

It was another gloomy day in Abbottabad again. Having spent the night in darkness, waiting for a ray of sunshine to bring with it the message of hope, I was once again met with sadness as I opened the curtains, only to see that the sky and the sun with it had been engulfed in dark clouds. It had been like that for so long, the sight of golden yellow rays of sun entering through the crevices in the curtains seemed like a distant memory. The sight of it took away my will to get out of bed and do something productive. I tried to push myself out of my blanket but the nagging cold at my feet caused me to shrink back inside the cocoon I had created. But life of today only allows you to sulk so much. I gathered all my energies, and pushed myself off the bed, "Today is going to be a great day", I thought, in a vain attempt to cheer myself up. It all drained out the second I met the unwelcoming ice-cold of the lavatory. If only I could cover this with a warm blanket. I took a warm shower, trying to wash away the dark clouds that lurked over my mind, but they were persistent, loyal, adamant to stay with me till the very end. An exasperated me walked out and took my seat against the mirror, trying to untangle my hair with a comb, or was it the nexus of thoughts that had kept me up at night- I guess the only sure thing was that it ended up being even more tangled up than before. What was the point of it all, I thought to myself, if everything were to eventually come to an end? Depression, my dear friend, is that you? I thought so. Can't let myself get carried away like this, can I? Find purpose in the little things Areeba, I told myself, as I picked up the vacuum to clean my room- the only purposeful thing I could come up with at the time. I cleaned and I cleaned, as though it were the last time I'd ever do so. Drilling holes in the walls, putting up frames to bring a little color to the forlorn walls of the house- but what color could life possibly have when the light of your soul has gone out? I cleaned up, picked up my umbrella and decided to go on a walk, nature has a way of cheering you up, or so they say. I walked, slowly, taking every step as if it had meaning, as if it would make everything make sense. But it never did, it never does, and the walk, and life with it, goes on.