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We have our finger on the pulse. |
We'll take you live now to Seattle, Washington. Bud can you give us an idea of what's going on there?" "Well Tom, I'm here outside the offices of Mississippi.com Inc where we're witnessing a somewhat unprecedented demon-stration." "That's demon - stration Bud?" "That's right Tom. All of those protesting appear to be demonic, as well as being employees of the Mississippi.com company. Now as you know the company does not allow unions, so this level of protest has not been witnessed before. It's a mystery too how so many of the company's staff seem to be, well, basically demons." "Do we know what they are protesting about Bud?" "I spoke to one of their self-appointed spokesmen. one Sarah Bartzleman and she had this to say." "Bud we are tired." "You're tired?" "Yes - we are tired of all this Halloween cutesy-pooh, candy and cash registers sh(tactfully inserted beep). It's bad enough that the day is seen as some sort of whole month 'holiday', but what really grinds our horns is that everything about it is so damned twee. If I see one more poster offering a 'Spooktacular Time, I think I'm going to barf." "So this is about Halloween?" "No Bud it's about the Easter Bunny. F(another beep) cloth ears. Yes it's about Halloween. We are tired of it." "What does Mississippi.com have to do with it?" "Besides seeing it as some sort of run up to a week long Black Friday you mean? Well it's simple Bud. Our CEO is the head-honcho." "Head-honcho?" "Yeah Bud. Satan, The Devil, Old Red Eyes, Ole Scratch himself." "I had no idea." "The road to hell is paved with limited time offers and free delivery Bud." "So there we have it Tom, the demons think Halloween is a big yawn." "Thanks Bud. We'll go back to that story later, but first a Halloween Spooktacular Offer from our sponsors, Mississippi.com" |