My Dead Dad

I don't even know his age at death, as he could have been 33 years or 46 years. He was torpedoed and 49 crew mates perished and only 3 survived. The Empire Tower sank in a minute. Ironically the U boat which sank the Empire Tower was itself lost a week later but then Mam said he was unlucky and he once got hit by a cricket ball - What difference that week made to the life of me and my family!

Mam said he had forebodings about serving on the Empire Tower,which had a history of damage caused by enemy action and other mishaps.

He was christened, John Leslie Williams but everyone knew him as Leslie and like many men in the thirties took what work they could find. He started as a Steward and then progressed to being a Greaser or as I was told a Donkey man, whatever that means. He died when I was 18 months old, so I have no direct memories of him.

He was reported lost at sea and as a child I thought he may be found like the many things that Mam often mislaid only to find again but sadly that didn't apply in his case.

One of my strongest memories of childhood was the hush when Paul Robeson sang 'Just A -Wearyin' for You'. I can still remember the catch in Mam's breath when that song was played on the wireless, the only time apart when the death of Mam's mother when she had showed any emotion.

As a child I couldn't understand why she wouldn't hold our hands, a therapist suggested that she may be afraid of losing us too. Perhaps I should explain, her first daughter Alice was still born. Her second girl, Mary, suffocated in a stream in 1937. Then, she bore surprise twins, me and my brother Dave in 1941. her beloved Leslie was killed in 1943. In spite of such twists of fate, she raised three kids on a War Widow's pension without the aid of food banks. She always ate away from us and I suspect that often her plate didn't need washing up.

Also, my childhood may explain my long support of C.N.D and the peace movement. And why 83, I stand outside the Westgate Hotel with a banner asking God to stop all wars. Next year, I plan to wear a white poppy to mark my opposition to war.