Eternity in Fleeting Moments

Eternity in Fleeting Moments

Alaina walked down the long hallway from her classroom to the tech ed room where the staff meeting was supposed to take place. She was a few minutes early because she wanted to make sure she got a decent seat. In her arms she carried her laptop and a notebook, in case she needed to jot something down. She was still old school enough that she preferred taking notes on paper versus her computer.

The hallway was littered with scraps of paper, random pencils, and bits of food someone had dropped on their way from the cafeteria. The floors always had a dingy look to them at the end of the school day. She supposed that couldn't be helped; middle schoolers were not exactly known for being especially clean.

Only a few other teachers had arrived when she reached the room. She quickly found a seat near the door and turned on her computer. Just as the log-in screen came up she felt her cell phone start ringing in her back pocket. Cell service was never good in the school building, so she was mildly surprised that a call was even coming through. She pulled the phone out to see who would be calling her during work hours. Expecting to see an unknown number, she frowned slightly when she saw her father's profile picture lighting up the screen. He rarely called her.

She told one of the other teachers at the table where she had sat down that she would be right back, and then stepped into the hallway. Hitting the green answer button, she held the phone up to her ear.

"Dad? Is everything alright?" she asked, hoping the connection wouldn't be choppy.

"Hey Lainey, what are you doing right now?" Her father's voice sounded strange.

"School just ended. I'm getting ready to head into a staff meeting. What's up?" she asked.

Her father cleared his throat and replied quietly, "Nothing really, I just wasn't feeling well and I passed out for a few minutes. I'm having a hard time standing up." He spoke almost nonchalantly.

Alaina felt a knot form in her stomach. This wasn't the first time her father had passed out over the last year or two. He'd been in the hospital a few times but had been released with a clean bill of health each time.

"Did you call 911? How are you feeling now?" she asked, hearing the anxious tone in her own voice.

"I haven't called them yet. I don't think I can get to the front door to let anyone in," her father replied.

Alaina's thoughts were racing. Her brother, who lived with her father, was at work two hours from home. Her mother only lived ten minutes from her father's house, however, and she had a front door key.

"Oh my god Dad! Did you try calling Mom yet? She has a key....," her voice trailed off.

On the other end of the phone there was silence for a moment, then her father's voice came through again. "I tried calling her, but she didn't answer. I left a message."

"Do you want me to try?" she asked.

"Sure," her father's voice was starting to sound weak.

"Okay. I'll call you right back," she told him.

She hung up and quickly dialed her mother's number. There was no answer. She sent a quick text. "Dad fainted and needs you to unlock his front door ASAP. Where are you????"

She waited a minute and then sent a text to her fourteen-year-old niece who lived with Alaina's mother. "Where is Mom?? Uncle John needs her to unlock his door. It's an emergency." Another minute passed.

She called her father back. "Dad? I couldn't get an answer from Mom either. How are you doing?"

"I'm feeling a little better," her father replied, "but I don't think I can make it to the door."

"What happened?" she asked him. "When did you start feeling bad?"

"Well, I went to the diner this morning, like I always do. But I wasn't feeling great, so all I got was some toast and coffee. Then this afternoon I went up to the store to pick up a few things and I started getting pains in my stomach on the drive home. I had only been home a few minutes when I passed out."

"Jesus Dad!" Alaina exclaimed. "You're lucky you made it home! If you'd passed out while driving, you could have crashed!" Her heart was starting to beat a little faster in her chest, picturing her father lying unconscious in his house. Just as she was about to say more, she felt her phone vibrate against her ear. "Hold on Dad, I just got a text."

She pulled the phone away from her head and looked at the screen. "We're going to Uncle John's house now," the message from her niece read.

"Dad, Mom's on her way! I'll stay on the phone with you until she gets there," she told him. She paused for a moment, trying to think what to say to keep him talking.

"You know you're not allowed to be sick Dad! Easter is in a couple weeks, and you have to dye eggs with the girls." Every year since her nieces were very small, her father had gone to her mother's house and dyed eggs with them for Easter. He was more a grandfather to them than their own grandfather was, and they adored him, even now that they were teenagers at fourteen and fifteen years old. "Plus, we're having Easter at my house, and you have to help me hide eggs again!" she added, forcing her voice to sound upbeat.

"I'll be there! I'm not going to let a silly thing like this keep me away!" her father joked in return.

"Good! Besides, we have pool Wednesday, so you need to be better by then regardless!" she said. She'd been playing pool with her father every Wednesday for nine years. He never missed a week, and she loved the few hours they got to hang out and catch up.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to miss pool," he paused for a moment, and she could hear his breathing through the phone. "I'm not going anywhere Lainey," he added, his voice almost sounding stronger.

They talked for a few more minutes, then he said he could hear someone at the front door. As he was speaking, another text came through. "Mom can't find her key to Uncle John's house. You need to come unlock the door," her niece had typed.

"Dad, Mom can't find her key. I'm leaving work now and driving over to unlock the door. Stay put!" she told her father. Still holding the phone to her ear, she quickly walked into the classroom where she'd left her computer.

Putting her hand over the phone's speaker, she whispered to her assistant principal, "I have to go! My dad is sick and needs to go to the hospital!" Her assistant principal's eyes widened, and she nodded hurriedly, gesturing for Alaina to get going and crossing her fingers as a sign of good luck.

Alaina grabbed her belongings and rushed out of the classroom. "Dad? Will you be ok until I get there?"

"I'll be fine. Be careful," Her father replied.

"I love you, Dad. I'll see you soon," she said, as she half ran out of the school to her car.

"I love you too, Hon," her father replied.

****

She had only been on the road ten minutes when her phone rang again. This time it was her mother.

"Mom? Did you find your key?" she asked without saying hello.

"No, your father let us in," her mother said quickly. "The paramedics just left with him in the ambulance."

"Wait, what?! Dad said he didn't think he could get to the front door..." she paused for a moment.

"He managed to crawl down the stairs and unlock it. The paramedics took him out on the stretcher. He didn't even have a coat on and it's freezing outside!" Her mother's voice sounded strained.

Her mother explained that she had called 911 before she'd gotten to the house, hoping they would all arrive around the same time. The paramedics had wrapped him in a blanket, loaded him on the stretcher, and taken him in the ambulance to the nearest hospital. Her mother was heading there now with Alaina's fourteen-year-old niece.

Alaina took a breath, her thoughts racing. "I'm on my way to Dad's. Should I go to the hospital?" she asked her mother.

"I don't think they'll let you in. I'll follow him there and let you know how he is. I'm sure he'll be alright," her mother replied.

Alaina agreed and decided to head to her own house to wait for news.

***

She hadn't been home more than two hours when her phone rang. This time it was her mother's profile picture that flashed across the screen as Alaina stood in her bedroom.

"Mom? How's Dad?" Alaina asked almost before she had the phone to her ear.

"I think you need to go to the hospital. They admitted him at our hospital and then decided it was more serious and medevacked him to the city hospital." She paused, her voice trembling. "Lainey, I don't think he has much time. I think this is it." Her mother's voice sounded far away. Alaina sat down hard on the edge of the bed, gripping the phone tightly.

"What do you mean? He was fine when I talked to him!" She could hear a note of panic creeping into her voice.

"I think you need to go. He took a turn for the worst Lainey. I tried to call you brother and sister. Your brother is heading there now, but I couldn't get your sister."

Alaina took a deep breath trying to steady herself. "I'll call Sarah. I can pick her up on the way."

Her mother agreed and they hung up. Alaina grabbed her purse and threw in a spare phone charger, just in case. Then she texted her father. Just one line, "Daddy please please get better". She hit send and ran down the stairs to tell her husband she was going to the hospital.

She called her sister from the car. Luckily, Sarah picked up on the first ring and agreed to Alaina picking her up.

***

They reached the hospital at the same time as their brother. After a brief stop at the front desk, they found themselves sitting in a small waiting room. They had been told that their father was in surgery and the doctor would come out and let them know how he was when it was over.

Alaina sat quietly with her brother and sister. She had texted a few of the people from her pool team, those who were friends with her father, to let them know what was happening, as well as her husband. Everyone was on tenterhooks, waiting to hear that he was going to be alright. It felt like forever, sitting there in the tiny room. There were no other visitors and the hallway outside the room was quiet.

They might have been sitting there half an hour when the doctor came in. The man looked at the three of them, anxiously sitting in the hard plastic chairs. Her brother, Ryan, stood up. Alaina searched the doctor's face, looking for a clue of what he was about to say.

"Are you John's children?" the man asked.

Alaina and her sister nodded silently.

"Yes. How is he?" Ryan asked, still standing.

"Please, sit down," the doctor replied.

As her brother slowly sat back down, Alaina whispered, "No, no, no, please no." She was barely aware that she was saying the words out loud.

The doctor sat in one of the empty chairs and looked from one face to the next. "I'm so sorry. Your father didn't make it."

The air rushed out of Alaina's lungs. She felt heat flood her cheeks as all the strength left her legs. "No! He was fine!"

Her normally unflappable brother stared incredulously at the doctor. "How? What happened?"

Alaina was struggling to hear through the sudden ringing in her ears. Her breath was coming in short gasps.

"He had an abdominal aortic aneurysm. We did everything we could, but his heart gave out. He knew what was happening before we took him back for surgery. He wasn't in any pain, and he understood there was a chance he might not make it." The doctor spoke as gently as possible.

There were more details, and questions from her brother and sister, but Alaina hardly heard. There was a sharp pain in her chest; it felt like an elephant was sitting on it. How could he be gone? She'd just spoken with him a few hours before and he'd sounded fine! Her father was a month shy of turning seventy-eight, and in perfect health! This couldn't be real!

As her brother and sister called their mother, Alaina walked to the hallway and called her husband.

He picked up almost immediately. "Hey, how is he?" The sound of her husband's voice pushed her over the narrow edge that she'd been teetering on for the last several minutes.

A gasp escaped her, and she sank to the floor. "He's gone!" Her voice came out raspy and hoarse, and she couldn't contain the tears any longer. She began sobbing, uncontrollably, barely able to breathe. On the other end of the phone her husband tried to calm her down. She managed to reign in the sobs, to tamp down the insurmountable pain that she felt in her chest. She briefly told him what the doctor said, and then broke down once more.

She was unaware of her brother's presence beside her until he put his arms around her and pulled her tightly against his chest. With her husband's soothing voice in her ear, and her brother's arms wrapped protectively around her, she slowly regained her control.

***

After the tears and phone calls had died down, the doctor asked if they would like to go back and see their father one last time.

Alaina's sister resolutely said no, she didn't think she could. Alaina, however, knew she needed to, knew she owed it to her father.

She followed the nurse back to the room where her father was lying on a bed. He almost looked like he was sleeping.

Alaina took a deep breath and slowly walked over to the side of the bed. She pulled a chair close and sat down, looking at her father's closed eyes and unmoving chest. His arms lay at his sides.

"Daddy?" she whispered the word. There was no reply. Very slowly she reached out and touched her fingertips to her father's hand. She didn't know what she had been expecting, but it wasn't the cold dryness of his skin. She slipped her fingers around his and held his hand tightly in her own. "Daddy, please don't be gone," she whispered. Then she put her head down on the bed and cried softly.

After a few minutes she looked up at his face. She knew he wasn't there anymore. He would never look at her with his twinkling eyes or tease her in his silly sing-song voice. He'd never tell her another story or even tell her he loved her. He was gone. Her hero had moved on.

She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, and realized her brother had joined her. He walked over and put his arm around her, while they said their silent goodbyes.

***

They collected Sarah from the waiting room and slowly made their way out of the hospital. Once outside, Alaina's brother pulled a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket and shook one out. They made eye contact for a moment, then he held the small box out to her. She wasn't a smoker, but she took one anyway. She needed something; something that would fill the gaping hole that had opened up inside her chest.

She held the cigarette with a shaking hand as her brother lit it for her. She took a long pull, listening to the paper crackle as it burned, and holding the cancerous smoke deep in her lungs for a moment. When she finally exhaled, she felt slightly calmer. They finished their cigarettes as they walked to the parking garage.