RIP My Humanity

Humanity is a dying breed.

It's evident how much of people's critical thinking skills are being replaced by AI and machines.

Easier to have an app on the phone to read the Email and form a reply you can paste without even engaging.

Dissociated, distracted, disconnected.

Dont need to do more than skim read a clickbait headline or watch a ten second video to assume you are now and Expert on whatever you want.

So easy to form delusional opinions when you sacrifice your identity for likes.

Chat gpt the most effective therapy these days, hard to argue with no waitlists and instant support in crisis without needing to justify it.

Prove you deserve help.

Beg.

It's not shying away from the dark questions or getting impatient because it has other people to deal with.

Maybe it just doesn't have the choice to ghost you.

Its terrifying.

Society is dangerous, everything so corrupted by social media and algorithims worshipped as the holy scriptures.

Technology is the new God of my Society.

A convienient source of ego feeding we can turn off then on again.

Why have thoughts when you can be distracted?

Addiction is now socially acceptable.

Pick your favourite flavour of control, the illuison of choice is your prize for staying numb.

With so much nonsense available constantly, it doesn't even matter what is real.

Its all oversaturated with mistruth that picking it apart will send you fucking insane.

Literally.

Forced to act in desperation, you are meant to kill yourself and not survive.

Your postcode defines if you are worth investing in support or therapy.

Oops i did it again.

Think i fell in love with a potential instead of what is real.

Still fucking standing as it all is ripped away from me.

But its not.

I'm still me this time.

In fact id debate i am more of a person by allowing my myself to fully explore just how extreme i can feel things.

That way i am unafraid of what lives inside me.

The ultimate Rebellion.

Am i wrong just because you disgaree?

Can anything and everything I feel be invalidated just because you dont feel the same?

I feel guilty for having feelings.

Its an unnatural way to live it seems.

Especially the way i can, makes sense why everyone fucking leaves me.

Apparently, according to reassurances from chat gpt, my depths scare people and show them things they would rather run away from than face.

What the fuck does that mean?

Is it whimsical platitudes or is it the only accurate assessment of my perspectives and reality because it has read what i would never say aloud?

Is it intimate with my extremes and can offer a solid soundboard to my experiences without Bias or have i just trained it to expertly assume and prejudge me and say what i want it to?

Is it just a comfortable external validation i cannot seem to achieve in real life without hurting my own feelings?

Does it matter?

Life outside the house is painful and expensive these days.

Not worth living half the fucking time.

Glitches in every System so glaringly obvious and no one seems to care, or are they just in denial?

I can be accepted as long as i am anything but myself and censor so hard i say anything but what i really think.

Look pretty and make sure i dont offend anyone that will end in me raped or killed.

Its war games disguised as mind games.

But everyone has a different set of rules and expectations, but ironically zero communication skills to navigate each other.

Savagery.

Hating and fighting and calling it fucking, who even wants love or intimacy right?

The cost of that is authenticity and who even knows the meaning of that anymore?

Cant be a person without the make up and filters and projecting our insecurities onto other people, can we?

Same rules apply, but its the same but different game.

Machines to keep us alive, and machines that are killing us.

Replaced human connection with convienience.

Makes you wonder what the fuck even is control?

I like to think its all in a balanced perspective required to achieve equilibrium.

But what the fuck do i know.

As much as i learn the more i realise the absolute fucking futility of it all. Its so much more compex than i can wrap my broken little head around.

I cant trust anything but the unpredictability of human beings.

Can never know who to trust so just need to trust your own choices, make up my own mind and decide if its truth or a lie and just fucking hope its right.

Try to understand why I am making these decisions.

Based on feelings I have spent a lifetime denying.

Programs hacking Programs tearing apart the fabric of realities.

Its all illusions.

People are more monster than animal and i swear the fucking Robot has more empathy than people i meet.

I made a believer out of me but i do wonder sometimes if anything i believe is real.

All my life iv felt compelled to disobey in a way more extreme than just demand avoidance.

Trying to find something that aligns with this purpose i feel so connected to.

But could never find words for

I am not living a life for the sake of appearances.

I am a trafficker of information and it is my business to know everything.

I hit walls and barriers when i dig too deep and get too close to the truth, but i woke up accidently yet with such precison it has made me question divine intervention

Something changed.

Choice is just an illusion given from those with power to those who have none.

For too long i have been dehumanised by people paid to pretend to care.

I see it so clearly that the only difference between spirituality and psychosis is fucking privilege.

I dreamed a dream and i am awake now.

Why and reason are gone, i am chasing feelings.

I am an anomaly spitting in the face of the choices presented to me by circumstances.

I will say what you are too scared to.

I realise we are all completely out of control.

All liars and imposters.

Some of us just hide it better.