Glitter, Glam, and Gutter Games

Chapter 1
Deck the Halls (With Disaster)

Snow fell softly over Bukchon Hanok Village, its rooftops cloaked in white. Inside the Han family’s estate, chaos ruled. The maids scurried with trays and decorations as Madam Oh Soo-jin barked orders as if she was a drill sergeant and Ji-eun didn’t give a damn.

The smell of roasted chestnuts and honeyed yakgwa wafted from the kitchen, mingling with the faint sound of a pianist rehearsing in the parlor. The Han estate had always been grand, but today it felt constricting to her—or since Oh Dae-hee, her mother’s cousin, taking up space in the guest room for over a month with no plans to leave.

“No, no, no! The poinsettias go there, not next to the tree. And where are the embossed place cards? How are people supposed to know where to sit without them?”

A little maid ran in carrying a stack of cards, Madam Oh grimaced. “It’s like I’m the only person in this house who realizes that tomorrow night is so vital.”

“It’s just dinner,” Dae-hee said from the armchair, flipping through the business edition of the newspaper. He wore a fluorescent red tracksuit which oozed audacity to the core, while one heel-socked foot resting on the ottoman. “They come for the food, not the flowers.”

“It’s not dinner.” She glared back at him. “It’s the dinner. The Hwangs, the Parks, the Minister of Culture — everybody of importance will be here. This is our chance to show them what class feels like.”

“Uncle, you’re so festive. That suit pretty much screams ‘holiday spirit’—or ‘midlife crisis.” Ji-eun murmured, falling back on the couch. She was texting, not even checking the enormous Christmas tree in the middle of the room.

Madam Oh narrowed her eyes. “Ji-eun, if you’re unable to assist, at the very least wear something appropriate.”

“Come on, Mom. They’re not here to see me—they’re here to measure our gold napkin rings and judge the tree topper.” Ji-eun pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. What did it matter if she wore a hoodie? The truth is, half of these people didn’t even know her from Adam.

“Ji-eun!” Madam Oh’s voice rose above the pianist’s melody and Ji-eun removed one ear bud.

“What?”

“Get up off that couch and help,” Madam Oh scolded. “You are not a guest.”

“Ji-eun, bring me some hot water,” Dae-hee ordered, gesturing to his mug as a king surveying his domain. “You’re young—full of energy.”

“Hot water?” Ji-eun repeated, raising an eyebrow. Leave it to Dae-hee to turn something so mundane into a royal decree. “You’re young and strong, Ji-eun,” her voice mocked. “Uncle,” she said in disapproval. “Do you know what else has steam? The kettle.”

Madam Oh looked at her cousin once and frowned. “Dae-hee, could you at least be decent? You are related, but not fit to be in the company of family. ”

“Families share everything: sofas, cookies, cheese,” Dae-hee said grinning.

Madam Oh scrubbed her nasal bridge. “Dae-hee, why did you really come here?”

“I said because we are family.” He said reclining in the armchair. “This place is better than my landlord knocking on the door at midnight. And when I say peaceful, I mean bearable—until you started grumbling about the tree.”

“A smart landlord would’ve kicked you out ages ago,” Ji-eun said and rolled her eyes.

“Well, I’m starting to see his point.” Madam Oh crossed her arms, glaring at him.

“Besides, it’s Christmas. What kind of person throws family out during the holiday season?” he said repositioning with a smirk on his face.

“Too bad Mom’s too softhearted for her own good.”

“Have some respect Ji-eun!” Madam Oh scolded then turned to Dae-hee. “Very well, stay, but make sure you do not come out during the dinner tomorrow. I don’t want you making us look foolish.”

Dae-hee gasped and held his chest as if in great pain. “Embarrass? Me? Let me tell you, I am the life of the party.”

“More like the death of it,” said Ji-eun’s older brother Tae-woo, freshly twenty, as he stepped into the room. Dressed sharply in a tie, looking every bit the young businessman, he took a seat in a nearby chair. He looked at Dae-hee and there was a slight twist on his face as if he had tasted something that he shouldn’t have and enjoyed it. “How much longer will this freeloading vacation continue for?”

“As long as the milk keeps flowing, nephew—and trust me, it’s the good stuff.” Dae-hee said with a wink.

“Not sure Mom,” said Ji-eun. “A man in a neon tracksuit serving hors d’oeuvres could start a new trend.”

Dae-hee laughed. “You see? Even the kids get it.”

“You’d certainly devour all the hors d’oeuvres before you could make it across the room.” Tae-woo chuckled.

“Not so. I would avoid the shrimp because I am allergic to them.” Dae-hee replied.

“Where is the tree topper?” Madam Oh shouted which sounded like a gong, sending servants scurrying. “The star, hand-painted by an Austrian artist, belongs on the tree, not in a box!”

Ji-eun reaching into a pocket of her hoodie extracted a Pikachu keychain. “Mom, I already told you that the tree doesn’t require a Swarovski star. It requires character.” She stood and walked over to the tree. With a mischievous grin on her face she waved the yellow figure in front of a branch. “Look, doesn’t it bring the touch?”

Madam Oh froze. She looked at the Pikachu keychain which Ji-eun was holding, her hands trembling at her sides. “Not one more stunt,” she said, her voice was a strained whisper. Her mother’s face turned an alarming shade of red. “Damn it Ji-eun!” she screamed.

Tae-woo sighed and slouched in his chair as if he was witnessing a car crash in slow motion.

Madam Oh moved to stop Ji-eun from hanging the Pikachu keychain, but Dae-hee interrupted. “Wait a second, wait a second! Let me help with this.” He reached for a footstool and placed it by the tree. “This shrub needs my touch,” he declared, pulling mismatched earrings from his pocket.

“Uncle, no!” Tae-woo warned, already sensing danger.

“Relax, kid,” Dae-hee said and climbed on the stool. ”Just watch and learn. This is how it’s done you bunch of amateurs.”

“Finally, some real entertainment.” Ji-eun crossed her arms and watched.

Reaching toward the top Dae-hee teetered on the stool, arms flailing. “See? Perfect placem—Sh–t!” He yelped as his foot slipped. Before he could catch himself, he fell backwards, holding on to the Christmas tree in a desperate attempt at balance. The tree, loyal to no one, groaned and fell with him, pulling the plug out of the socket. He landed with a thud and the ornaments on the tree exploded into the air like some kind of holiday grenades.

One of them went straight into Madam Oh’s teacup spilling her tea all over her new dress. “Dae-hee!” she yelled.

Ji-eun ducked just in time, as a bauble whizzing past her head. “Hey, are we going to a dinner party or to a demolition derby?” she shouted, diving to the floor.

In the chaos, a snow globe spun through the air. It cracked sharply on the wall, its glass splintering and plunged into the fish tank in a mighty splash. In an instant, water surged up, crashing over the sides in a flurry, but as the ripples calmed, the glitter inside the globe slowly began to seep out.

“The fish are—!” Tae-woo said, shrugging, and stepped in to help – and then tripped over the Christmas lights trailing across the floor and fell into the Butler, who had been standing nearby, a tray of mulled wine in his hands.

The Butler gasped, “Sir!” and sent the wine glasses flying up in the air, where they landed with a spicy holiday splash on both him and Tae-woo.

Head Maid Kim Soon-ja rushed in just in time to see the mayhem, but in her hurry, stepped on the puddle of water from the fish tank, and slid across the floor. With a high-pitched yelp—WHAM—crashed headfirst into the already toppled tree.

From under the tinsel and broken branches, Dae-hee groaned. “I… think it still looks good?” he said with a dazed grin, his face half covered in fake snow.

“Look at this!” Madam Oh looked as though she had seen a ghost when she surveyed the mess that was made. “Imported crystal, Austrian craftsmanship, and—” She pointed at Dae-hee, the cause of it all. “My tree!”

Dae-hee sat up straight in the middle of the destruction, fluffing his hair and trying to shake off the tinsel. “All right, could’ve gone worse,” he said, holding up the Pikachu key chain that he had managed to grab during the fall. “But look at that, this little guy didn’t break.”

Ji-eun burst into laughter, covering her stomach as if it pained her, and pointed at the shiny garland that was still hanging from his sleeve. “Nice accessory, uncle. Very on-brand. ”

“And that is why we cannot have nice things,” said Tae-woo.

“Out!” Madam Oh pointed at the door while poking it with her finger, her eyes spiking through them.

“Okay, okay,” Dae-hee grumbled and got up with as much fanfare as he could. “People these days do not know how to appreciate great work.”

While Dae-hee picked glitter off his tracksuit, Madam Oh clicked her fingers at the nearest servants. “What are you standing there for? Get that tree upright! ”

On command, the Butler and two maids moved in. He slowly picked up the tree while the others tried to collect the fallen, unbroken decorations.

Ji-eun reclined on the sofa and watched the mayhem with a wide smile on her face. “You know, Mom,” she said in a very fake sense of obligation, “If you just leave it as it is, we could always call it an art piece. Very much in the contemporary art tradition. ”

Madam Oh gave her a look that could have melt steel. “Ji-eun, go to your room”

“Gladly,” Ji-eun replied, still chuckling as she walked up to Tae-woo and turned to him.

“Tone it down Ji-eun, you will cause her death,” Tae-woo smirked.

“Then why not help, Mr. Perfect?” Ji-eun asked.

“Why spoil your party? I wouldn’t dream of it. Uncle’s ‘artistry’ cannot be matched.”

Ji-eun grinned. “You think mom will yell or cry first?”

“Both.” Tae-woo watched their mother scold the maids to tidy up the mess, “Hands down, both,”

After a quick turn-around Ji-eun rolled her eyes and sagged back onto the couch. She swung her foot and shoved the coffee table, causing the decorative snow globe to roll off its pedestal toward the edge of the table.

“Ji-eun!” Madam Oh shouted and covered her face.

Ji-eun reached for the globe, her fingers grasping the glass right before it fell off the edge. But her elbow hit the corner of a ceramic lamp, sending it to the floor with a devastating noise that could be heard even from the pianist in the next room. “Oh my god,” she whispered, staring at the shattered base. “Was this... expensive?”

Madam Oh’s eyes peeked between her fingers. “That belonged to my grandmother!”

“Well,” Ji-eun said weakly, “Looks like Grandma’s lamp just became an artifact.”

Chairman Han Byung-chul entered adjusting his robe, and only barely looked at the mess. If the tree fell over again, maybe he would get out of the way. Maybe.

Ji-eun saw her mother’s lips become a fine line; her eyes narrowed and stared at the broken lamp and the leaning tree. Yep, the meltdown was brewing.

“What the hell is going on here?” Chairman Han grumbled as he looked at the broken ceramic.

“Your daughter,” Madam Oh said, pointing at Ji-eun as if she were an exhibit in a crime scene. “If this keeps up, our dinner guests will be dining amid the ruins of the Han family.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Ji-eun complained softly.

Ji-eun saw her mother sit on the edge of a chair and her knuckles turned white as she clenched her hands. Even from across the room, she could see her jawline tighten as if she was restraining herself from saying something that she wanted to.

Tae-woo suppressed a laugh but he choked when his mother glared at him.

“As for dinner,” Chairman Han set his cup down with deliberate calm, the chaos around him ignored as always. “Who has agreed to come?”

Before Madam Oh could answer the doorbell rang, a ring that sounded as if an orchestra was playing. One of the servants went to attend to it and returned in a while.

“Madam,” the servant looked uncomfortable and produced an envelope; “This is from the Minister’s office.”

Madam Oh took the envelope from the servant and opened it with her sharp nails. She read the note and her lips pulled in at every word. “He’s not coming?” The words came out louder than usual and sounding off key as it pierced through the room as if it were a snapped crop.

“Who?” Chairman Han looked up.

“The Minister of Culture!” she said in a rather loud voice, “He is the guest of honor and without him the dinner loses its purpose!”

Ji-eun rolled her eyes. “Because nothing says Christmas spirit like sucking up to a politician.”

“Shut up…Ji-eun!” Madam Oh snapped, picking up her phone from the table. She typed rather fast, cursing while doing so. “Can I contact the Ambassador. No he is in Busan. What about the film director? Or—” She paused, staring at the note. “Last minute cancellation. Who does he think he is!”

Chairman Han relaxed with cup of tea in hand, as if the chaos of the room was not present. He sipped slowly and lifted his brow. “Seems like a pattern.”

She gave him a stern look. “This is no laughing matter Byung-chul and you know what this will do to our image?”

Setting his cup on the table, Chairman Han was trying to steady himself in the midst of the mayhem. “Then cancel the dinner. Save yourself the trouble”

Madam Oh spun to him. “Cancel? What are you talking about?”

Showing only the slightest reaction, as is his usual manner, Chairman Han stated, “It is better than having to look for a Minister throughout the night and he or she is not interested in the centerpiece.”

Madam Oh stared at him as if he had proposed to sell the family home. “We have to replace him with someone else.”

“Who?” Ji-eun asked, with obvious disbelief in her voice. “Another politician? A celebrity? Hey what about the mailman?”

Madam Oh rubbed her temples. “No– we need an unexpected person.” Her well-polished nails tapped on her face and inspiration lighting her eyes, “A commoner! The perfect symbol of goodwill—and exactly what we need to salvage this disaster.’”

Ji-eun almost leaped off the sofa in disbelief. “Commoner? Wow, we’re really breaking out the medieval vocabulary tonight. What’s next? Knights and jesters? Or hang a banner that says ‘Welcome, Peasants’?”

Madam Oh ignored her entirely, too caught up in her own vision.

Chairman Han’s face became stern. He exhaled heavily and with a shake of his head, bracing for what he knew was coming. “A stranger in this house? I hope you know what you’re inviting, Soo-jin.”

Dae-hee, ever the opportunist, leaned forward with a grin. “If you’re looking for someone ‘lower class,’ I’m right here. Lovable, relatable, and already part of the family. No need to look further.”

“Except for the creditors,” Tae-woo muttered under his breath.

Madam Oh shot him a sharp look. “You’re not helping, Tae-woo.”

“Forget him!” Dae-hee said brightly, draping an arm around Ji-eun’s shoulders. “Picture the headlines: ‘Han Family Opens Doors to the Less Fortunate.’ It’s genius!”

“Not as genius as you getting a job,” Ji-eun quipped, shoving his arm off her shoulder.

“That’s it!” Madam Oh gasped suddenly and her eyes gleamed. “Then we will act as if we are helping the destitute.”

“Knowing your luck, Mom, you’ll drag in someone who’s secretly a millionaire in disguise. Imagine the headlines: ‘Han Family Duped by Pauper Prince.”

“Think this through Soo-jin.” Said Chairman Han

Tae-woo raised his eyebrows and gave a slight sound of disapproval. “You mean a person who will make us seem… charitable?”

“Just that!” Madam Oh said happily, as if she had come up with a solution to the problem of poverty. “It will be noble, it will be touching and it will also help to change the image of this dinner.”

Dae-hee leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms with a slight smile on his face. “Look no further. I’m the ordinary guy you’re looking for.”

Madam Oh gave him a rather nasty look. “You are far from being it, Dae-hee.”

Ji-eun scoffed. “Yeah, normal people always have something to do. You know, like work. Earn money. Pay rent.”

Dae-hee did not flinch from the remark and sat up as if he was paying attention to business. “But consider this — ‘Han Family Takes in Broke Cousin.’ Doesn’t that sound quite intriguing?”

“Kim Soon-ja, find me the perfect guest by morning,” Madam Oh ordered. “Someone who looks humble but won’t embarrass us. Don’t fail me.”

Soon-ja hesitated, clutching her dish towel like a lifeline. “Yes, Madam, but where?”

“Wherever!” Madam Oh said firmly as if she was determined to achieve something. “The market, the train station – just get someone who can at least look the part. And hurry!”

Dae-hee chuckled softly and reclined on the chair. “This is going to be a complete and utter shambles and I am more than happy to watch it unfold.” He looked over at Tae-woo with a slight smirk on his face. “By the way, how is that business deal of yours? Still able to hold off the loan sharks?”

Tae-woo’s jaw clenched but he didn’t rise to it. Instead, he reached for an imaginary itch on his chest, his voice cold. “I don’t understand how that concern is any of your business.”

Ji-eun sat back and replied with a smirk on her face. “So, we are kidnapping people and bringing them back to our hideout now? Is this dinner or some kind of reality show?”

Soon-ja hesitated, glancing at Chairman Han who shrugged his expression unreadable.

Ji-eun gave a small smile as Madam Oh shouted at Soon-ja. A last minute ‘commoner’ guest? This dinner was going to be a bigger disaster than the tree and Ji-eun was looking forward to seeing it burn.