Butterflies

I wish my anxiety felt like butterflies
Or something else in that vein
I wish it was cute and easy
But my anxiety feels like a swarm of hornets
Or a tsunami
Something tragic and not preventable
I can’t eat for days
I throw up every morning regardless
I overthink every interaction
And cry over the silliest of things
I become a burden
I push people away to avoid it
I internalize every interaction
And blame myself for everything
I can’t make it stop
And I’d kill to
Even in exchange for butterflies