My Dreams Begin

By the time I made it back to my apartment my head was spinning. and a headache was beginning to settle behind my eyes. I'd made a point of not indulging in more than one glass of Pinot Grigio. Though I had probably indulged in too many of the pastries and other snacks. A sugar high more likely.

With the lights turned low, I made myself a cup of peppermint tea then curled up in the blue loveseat by the window overlooking the street. It was not that late so some people were still out and about.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that the man I had met at the cafe, the one I had had such a wonderful conversation with, was in fact the instructor of the month long writing workshop I was taking.

How was I supposed to create and present my work with the added scrutiny of him assessing and judging my contributions. My attraction to him made me feel vulnerable and exposed. Was there a way to close myself off from him? Did I want to?

Why hadn't he passed that little morsel on. We had discussed books and Paris. I had even mentioned I was following my dreams of writing. He'd said nothing and I had never thought to ask him why he was visiting Paris.

Seeing him at the meet and greet tonight had been a bit of a shock, but nothing was more shocking than finding out he was one of the main instructors.

I hadn't told Laurel that I had met him earlier.

I would just have to do the best I could and hope my attraction dimmed in the light of day.

Telling myself this was one thing; believing it was quite another.

When I arrived at the Academy the next morning I hoped I was ready for anything. I had bought a strong coffee to go for my commute. The caffeine was kicking in and helping me feel a bit more bad-ass, but seeing him standing a the front of the class talking to a few other students had my stomach doing arial acrobatics.

I headed for a seat at the back of the room, but Laurel waved and called me to the front. Her antics had William looking in my direction and smiling.

I felt that smile all the way to my toes. The jolt was more jazzercised than the caffeine. I smiled back hoping I didn't look like an idiot.

"I was so charged up from the session last night, I wrote until the wee hours. What about you?"

I shook my head as I said, "I think I'm still dealing with jet lag."

"Ugh, that's rough. You'll hit your stride."

I certainly hoped so. It would be awful to pay all this money and wind up suffering a stiff case of writer's block.

To distract myself I pulled my notebook and several coloured pens out of my leather satchel. My laptop could stay inside my bag for now. I was not yet ready to go all techie. It was easier to feel centered and grounded if I wrote by hand anyway.

"Okay, now that everyone is here. I just want to say that we will be starting on the hour so we have time to cover all the important stuff and still have time to write and share our work... if we so choose." William began.

I was so grateful I was not the last to arrive.

"I just want to add that the more authentic and truthful we are in our writing the more energy our writing will have. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. I want this to be a safe space. Any writing we do here will be raw and fresh. You can chose to share or not. No judgement. And if you do share, we as an audience will be kind. That does not mean we are not being constructive, but fresh work that has not been edited must be gently received. Work we share that has had time to settle and be edited will be more intensely handled, but always keep in mind, we are offering constructive critiques not ripping the work apart. We clear."

The room rumbled with affirmation and I felt some of my tension shift and ease out of my shoulders. I hadn't realized I was quite that tense.

"I may be your instructor, but I will also be writing and sharing with you. I like to keep things on an even footing. And I feel we can all learn from each other. That's what makes this workshop setting so vital. The more we put in, the more we get out."

I liked what I was hearing.

William went on to discuss more details of the workshop. When that was done he opened the session with an ice breaker - a way to get in some writing and ease us into the course.

I took the prompt he gave and after some hesitant false starts, I tuned in to my writing voice and tuned out the world. By the time he called 'time,' I realized I had written over a page. Looking back over it, I felt happy with what had emerged.

"Anyone want to share?"

A few people read and everyone was kind. Still, I didn't feel ready to put my words out into the expanse of the classroom. Laurel didn't either. She she passed me a note asking if we could share with each other over lunch. I gave her a radiant smile and nodded. Starting small felt like a very good idea.

William shared his piece and it was well received. I was impressed. I figured he'd have a good writing voice.

Once we had had time to "loosen up", William gave his "writing craft lecture." I enjoyed how were were able to add in our own thoughts and discuss the concept. It gave the session an easy, open and fluid experience and I found myself relaxing even more.

As we neared the sessions finishing time, William outlined this week's writing assignment and made sure everyone understood what was expected. These writings would be shared either in whole class or smaller groups.

That made me a little nervous, but I would have a week to get my bearings and sharing with Laurel felt like a good place to start.

When we broke for lunch, I packed up my things and moved to follow Laurel to the exit. We had a couple of hours before the next session.

"Hey, ladies do you mind if I join you?" William asked as he headed in our direction.

Before I could say anything, Laurel was agreeing and giving him her most dazzling of smiles. I managed a smile, but inside I felt my insides tighten. There was no way I would feel comfortable sharing my writing if he came with us.

"We're gonna see if we can grab a table on the patio at __. We're going to share our writing." Laurel said.

I felt my heart lurk into my throat. I wiped my calmy palms on my pants and tried to manage another jubilant smile.

"I'd love your opinion about some writing resources I'd like to share. I know we talked about some yesterday, but I have another that I thought would be great."

Laurel's brows lifted as she glanced over at me. The cat was out of the bag.

"We ran into each other at the Shakespeare and Co Cafe yesterday and got talking about books." I told her, then turning to him I said, "But not once did you tell me you were teaching at the Academy." I tried to keep my tone light and not let the ire creep into my voice.

William gave a half smile as he said, "I do apologize for that. Though I am really glad I got to see you again."

"Isn't there some rules about fraternizing with students?" I asked.

William grinned as he shook his head, "Not that I know of and besides, you haven't signed into this course as a University student so it wouldn't apply."

I looked over at Laurel and almost had to laugh at the shocked expression on her face. When our eyes met, she dissolved into laughter.

"Oh, this is priceless." she said when she was able to speak. She grinned as she looked between from him to me and back.

William and I both smiled back at her.

"So I can pick your brain?" he asked expectantly.

I nodded, secretly appreciating his eagerness.

"Join us for lunch. You can hear our trashy attempts at your prompt." I told him.

"Speak for yourself. Mine is fabulous." Laurel said flipping her hair over her shoulder and grinning at me.

Our laughter helped to sooth my nerves and make things feel a lot less awkward. Things were looking up.



Word Count = 1,486.


Notes ▼

Written for "The Lodestar Contest"  and for February's "The Contest Challenge" 
Prompts: Build a ship:
Ships that could be built:
Romance - This relationship should either go from existing to not existing, or vice versa.

Friendship - This needs to be an established relationship that is based on a lie.

Family - There needs to be a clear revelation on one side of this relationship or the other. Close family, please—a parent and child, grandparent and grandchild, or between siblings.