Final Cracks

I am desperate for attention but I can't even relax.
I am missing part of my brain saying "One day I'll be enough".
You can kill me like a dog and I will take it like a man.
You can shoot me in the streets or in the yard behind the shed,
then just toss me in the trash; I won't really care

My brother came out of the closet last night.
But I don't give a fuck; that gay is going straight to Hell.
He used to shove me to the floor or push me up against the wall,
he used to give me swirlies at school in front of all his friends,
and the principal would laugh 'cause our dad owns half this town.

I've learned to tie the knot and it's not the one that you're thinking.
I'm addicted to those chiropractic videos on YouTube.
I can't wait to hear those final cracks that put an end to this;
I hope I see some fireworks I could only see in dreams
or will I just see the dark like I always seem to do?