Ache Within

Personal and introspective exploration of lost love, longing, and heartache.

I can't ever realize how lonely I am until nights like this hit me.

Knowing I have nothing doesn't make it easy

Knowing I was only used and played brings so many emotions.

I never thought this would be you.

The one that brought me uncontrollable pain

The one I can't stop loving

You treated me like your whole world.

I believed every one of your words.

You were my first love.

I'm not sure if I'm happy about you being my first one.

You never said goodbye.

It has been weeks.

I knew many would judge us for having such an age gap.

I never cared.

Yet I never had you.

I had you, what you called love.

But I never had a physical presence.

I never felt your skin.

Your hands

I never felt your warmth.

But I felt your words.

I never saw your expressions.

I only saw your words.

A unique way to fall for someone

And I fell for you.

I never thought I would.

But I did.

As of now, I have opened my heart to you. I wrote so many verses about you.

You were my first inspiration for love and words.

And now that you're gone, I can only write sad verses.

My love for you hasn't died.

I know you told me you were absolutely busy.

And most importantly, you wished I was there for you for real.

You don't realize how much that meant to me.

But those were your last words.

and I answered

I never heard from you again.

It has been weeks.

And I question every moment.

When are you going to come back?

Will you ever be gone again?

Your last message only showed more love to me. and not having it is making my life a mess.

I have never loved someone.

And I loved you I only mourn your absence.

It scares me that you left me and those were your last words.

I'm not good at reading people.

I didn't see your expression as you typed that.

I only felt emotion.

An emotion that was love and interest, a craving, admiration, and longing.

And that felt beautiful, unique.

I wonder at times, did something happen to you?

And my worst thought: did you find someone else and leave me?

Was I a joke?

Was I meaningless?

Was I just a piece of meat?

Was I?

Only you can answer me.

At times it felt like that.

Other times it didn't.

Uncertainty is what kills me.

like a dagger in my heart

You penetrated love, pain, beauty, and a mix of emotions that I can't entirely express, but all of that has gotten into me.

You were my first.

You won't be my last.

But I won't ever forget that about you

And even if you left me with no explanation, There's that part of me that thinks of you as the best guy I ever met. Like I told you every day, I never missed the chance to tell you the way I felt. I'm glad I opened my heart and confessed my love; I would've regretted it if I never did.

But with you gone

Is just a question to my life

That I hope one day is answered

My last words to you were an "I love you."

And my final words to close this verse are

Remembered you were love, my great love.