Escaping the OCD turmoil part 3

Fighting on Ethan’s ward and running the London Marathon 2020

Chapter 18.

Ben woke up feeling optimistic about the future for the first time in three weeks of being in St. Alice Hospital and was beginning to think slightly clearer. He got showered, shaved and without any interference from the psychopathic intrusion, so the lover of music and a running fan took an extra deep breath and went to the common room for breakfast. He slowly went into the kitchen and helped himself to some fresh orange and scrambled egg on toast, which was delicious and went down well.

Mr. Bradshaw walked over to the tables and sat next to Mark, Becky, and Ray while other residents were either sitting around the television on comfy sofas or vaping out in the garden. Everyone was happy to see Benjamin and was glad he was okay from his time at the accident and emergency. They wanted to see if there was anything they could do to make Ben feel better.

As Ben sat talking to his friends, a young man of 23 arrived at the hospital, and he was very loud and extremely violent. Jacob Drake was a skinny six foot nine inches tall Birmingham man, with some studs on his nose and lips. The poor guy was clearly in a delusional state and not controlling his actions, for he picked up a snooker cue and smashed it on the green fabric of the table, which made it rip. The entire ward jumped up in sheer fright and the residents ran into the garden and the DRS and nurses hurried into their staff room. The security guards surrounded this out-of-control youth to try to calm him, but it made things worse, and he rammed his body into a few of the men and knocked them over like skittles. Jakob then picked up an exercise bike and threw it at the television hanging on the wall.

There was such a calamity and broken glass and wires everywhere, and the guards escaped into the exit of the next ward.

Jakob was all alone while everyone was panicking and feeling extraordinarily anxious about the situation because it had become so much worse. Not only did the angry youth pick up the broken TV and throw it towards the staffroom window, and it shattered into a million pieces, but the born-again Christian lifted the pool table on two legs and pushed it upside down.

That was it for the security guards who had formed a plan. They swooped in at different exits and seized the troubled lad, and just like Ben, the Dr. injected a sedative to instantly calm him down.

As the dangerous insightful yob went to pick up a sofa and throw it at the glass back door, the staff swarmed in and took control of the predicament.

As he lay flat on the floor, the security forced his hands behind Jacobs's back and the 23-year-old onto a more secure ward and put him on section three.

All the time Ben was feeling paralyzed with fear, for the gentle and kind man hated all violence. The author took his mobile phone out of his pocket, called his mum and said,

“ Mum, please come and rescue me from a new resident that's smashing up the place. I know I’m on a section 2, but I can’t stay in here and get well when it’s all gone extremely dangerous for us all. Please hurry, sorry I can’t stay here and would be safer at home and get well easier.”

Philippa Bradshaw was beside herself with worry and not knowing what to do for the best. She decided to ring the hospital, and they told her the ward was on lockdown and no one was allowed in or out, but Ben’s mum was welcome to visit her son once the circumstances had become settled.

Philippa was instructed to phone in a couple of hours to see if things had altered, so the 68-year-old photographer phoned Benjamin and told the scared lad,

“My darling Ben, I am not allowed to come yet but don’t worry you’re in safe hands with all the security guards and staff protecting you, stay in the garden take deep breaths and try to relax, even though it’s all going berserk. I understand you think you are better off in the ward and would recover easier with Stephanie and the kids, but you’re still unwell. I need the doctor's help. Likewise, I will come as soon as the situation has improved, and we can chat, walk around the garden or watch some TV on your iPad in your room until it’s tea time.”

So Ben thanked his mum for trying and would do as she advised and hung up the phone he put it back in his pocket and went over to his friends, Mark, Ray, and Becky and said,

“ I find music is a therapeutic way to calm down When things around me are going crazy, so would you enjoy singing a few songs?”

Becky had been playing the guitar and said,

“ I can play some tunes on the instrument, do you all want to sing? I think you’re right. It will help our anxiety.

So Ben asked his 19-year-old Swedish friend if she knew Iron Maiden. She did, and her mum had been a massive fan for years. So he began the song; The Loneliness Of The Long-Distance Runner. Mark knew it well as he loved that particular album and the song it came from. But Ray was more into the Spice Girls and Madonna. Ben said,

“ I will get the lyrics up on my phone, and you can sing along to them.”

Ray; the 42-year-old Brazilian, who had lived in the UK since he was 13, said,

“I will sit at the wooden table and use it to keep rhythm. “

Ben told his friend that it would be perfect.

So Becky played a few bars at the start of the song and Ray tapped his hands on the table for drums and after two minutes and thirty-seven seconds, Ben and Mark; the Maiden boys, began singing,

“Ready with the Wind and the rain on your back. Your heart is beating fast with every step that you tread and now motivation pushes down the track. Run on and on, the happiness of that long-distance runner.”

By the time they had finished the song, things had dramatically calmed in the building and Jacob had been removed from the ward. The staff were clearing up and the food trolley was being set up in the lounge because it was midday. Ben’s mum had gotten confirmation they now had everything under control and that Ben’s doctor's appointment was scheduled for 1:30 pm, The gentlehearted woman rang Ben and said she was fine to come and would be over to see him and go take a shower and put some clean clothes on ready to meet with the DRS to discuss the diagnosis.

Chapter 19.

All the residents cheered the quick and forceful reactions to the dire situation and then went to get a lovely lunch, and sat enjoying it for three-quarters of an hour before seeing Dr. Zimmermann. The children’s author went back to his room, cleaned his teeth, and used a deodorant to smell fresher.

He kissed the photo of his family and waited for his mum to arrive. The music producer sat and thought about what he wanted to say to the Dr. and the manager of the ward. Before the Welshman could write down his thoughts, the security officer was at his door asking Ben to follow him to Dr. Zimmermann’s office. So he followed Larry, another security guard, and finally went to the doctor's office

As Philippa was waiting for her son, the guard reached them at the door and the mother and son went into the crucial meeting of Ben's life, so far.

The Dr. was a 61-year-old man from Birmingham who had curly gray hair and had a slight overweight figure. He possessed a scar on his left cheek from a dog at the age of seven. The happily soft-spoken psychiatrist welcomed the Bradshaw's into his tiny cream-colored room and asked them to sit. Ben and his mum did so and listened Implicitly to Dr. Zimmermann’s discovery of what was going on in Ben’s head,

“Mr. Bradshaw, we have monitored you over the last three weeks and tried you with the necessary medication, and now I can confirm my findings. You have anxiety and desperation and this makes the voices in your head which is called Severe OCD, and it gives you delusions alongside this. You have been given antidepressants and an antipsychotic for your voices and delusions, and we believe this is working for you, and you seem to be steady. We are taking you off the section but would like you to attend the outpatient facility here at the hospital once a week and the psychologist will teach you CBT and exposure therapy. We have some unfortunate news that I wish to share that is challenging to accept right now, but you will hear the voices for the rest of your life. Furthermore, we will help you to manage the symptoms of these mental health conditions so you can live a fulfilling and happy life.

We are discharging you today and can go home to your loved ones, but first, you need your observations taken again and wait for your medication, please take the dose I have set every day. Have faith in us that we can help you to live with these conditions and live a normal life.

Thank you for your cooperation and behavior during your stay with us, I know it has been an emotional rollercoaster, but you have done exceptionally well and should be proud of yourself for not giving in to your illness and not doing what it tells you. I wish you well for the future, and if you require any emergency help we will be providing all the necessary phone numbers to call us in case your mental health should deteriorate significantly to crisis again. But I am confident with time things will never get so bad, but we're always here should you require us! God bless Ben and take care.”

With that, Ben and his mum stood up and looked at each other, the author shook the doctor's hand and left his office, feeling uncertain and bewildered and wishing he’d gotten the chance to ask many questions, including what the hell is OCD? He felt rushed out of the office and had no explanation for anything except waiting for those so-called wonder drugs. The father of two sat in the garden with his lovely mum and put his head into his hands, in utter desperation, feeling confused and completely out of his depth of understanding. Ben's mum put her arm around her youngest son to comfort him.

Chapter 20.

Ben's emotions were becoming enraged for the amount of time he and his mum had to wait for his meds and discharge paperwork, and had to keep being a nuisance in asking the staff when it was ready. It had been four and three-quarters hours and by now Benjamin could not care about the doctor’s outcome and just wanted to go home to his lovely family. He said to his mum, who was a caring lady,

“ I think it only fair that you should go home, and I'll ask Stephanie to pick me up when the meds are ready, she was bringing the kids to see me tonight so she'll be able to pick me up. It just looks like the meds are going to take all day to arrive, so I hate for you to just hang around in this hellish place any longer than you have to. Thank you for seeing the Dr. with me and waiting around. Don't worry, I will be fine with staying for another few hours if necessary.”

Philippa smiled at her son and thanked him for his kind, caring and thoughtful nature and said,

“I understand what you mean Ben, for the meds could arrive at any minute or turn up at ten o'clock tonight, so I think I will go and get some tea and if Sophie doesn't want to come out when it's late, I can come back. Try not to worry about your diagnosis, I'm sure your lovely wife will help you understand it better. Enjoy your tea and if Steph does pick you up, then I will see you in a few days.”

Ben gave his mum a hug and a peck on the cheek, and he said,

“Thanks again for all that you do for me and sorry to have had to have this wretched illness, love you mum XXX”

Mrs. Bradshaw smiled at her son and said,

“You're welcome Ben, it's my pleasure to do anything for you, but it's all your forcefulness and determination that's made you get better and able to go home to Steph, Tania, and Isaac, me and your dad all love you lots too! It's so great to see and hear you being yourself again, my lovely son!!!”

The 68-year-old woman got up from the comfy seat she had been sitting on for a few hours around the television with the other residents of Saint Alice Mental Health Hospital, said goodbye to her son and got up and left.

The bell went for tea time and all the residents lined up. Ben decided to have a chicken and stuffing sandwich, salt and vinegar chips, a bottle of cherry coke and a chocolate éclair and sat on the relaxing sofa enjoying his tea and trying not to think about the meds.

Becky, the 23-year-old flight attendant came over and asked the author how his DRS appointment went, saying,

“Hey bro how's it going dude? Mark and I were quite concerned about you, that Dr. can be quite full on in his delivery of people’s diagnoses. I know it's still really raw, and you probably want to forget it, but would you like to talk about it, my friend?

Benjamin smiled at the pretty young blond-haired girl and told her,

“Thank you for your concern, you lovely lady, the Dr. says I have OCD, anxiety and depression, but I don't know what OCD is. It is all beyond my understanding.”

Becky gave Ben a peck on the cheek, smiled at the music producer and said,

“Don’t worry my friend it’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, and I’m sure the psychologists will help you, they have helped me while I have been in here. I have every faith in them and your ability to beat this wretched illness. Keep busy with all the things you love to do, the more you occupy your mind, the less it will be able to attack it and fill it full of lies. Anyway enough of that, let’s put a film on while you are still here, the buggers take hours to process your medication and paperwork. I have been coming in here most of my life. What film do you fancy? Spider-Man 2, The mummy, or men in black 3? You choose my friend. It will do you good to relax before heading out into the big wide world.”

Ben gave Becky a big embrace and said”

“Thank you, my kind friend, I would decide Spider-Man 2, but I am concerned about the time and Stephanie coming out when she’s got to cook the kids tea and put them to bed, so if this goes on much longer I will have to ask my lovely mum to pick me up. I think I will go and ask the nurses for any news. “

Becky tried again to reassure the thoughtful author and said,

“I think you are right in that instance Ben, you need to think about your family, I would say if by 6pm then it will be tomorrow morning now?”

But all the time she was talking those dreaded OCD were saying,

“ The slapper is talking shit, stab her in the throat, and you must eat her eyes.”

Ben jumped up and ran to the staff office and said,

“I’m having more OCD voices, please help and are my meds here yet? I have been waiting all afternoon!”

The ward manageress gave a warm smile and said,

“Come in and sit down and do some deep breaths and try to ignore them, Benjamin. Your meds are 15 minutes away, and I just have to get the Dr. to sign the discharge papers, so just another half hour. Do you want a cuppa? I can get a nurse to fetch you one. Or go back to your room, and shout for you when your medication is here.”

Ben decided on the latter and called his gorgeous family to explain what was happening,

The quiet introvert who had packed up his belongings and left them on his bed moved them and sat down and dialled his gorgeous wife, but his 8-year-old daughter had picked up her mummies phone and said,

“Dad, daddy, daddy oh, my lovely daddy how are you? Please say you're better! We want you home because we love you!”

Benjamin began to sob and a waterfall of tears fells down his face after hearing his beautiful daughter's voice for the first time in nearly a month. He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, then gently spoke to his sweet little girl,

“Hello Tanya, my angelic princess, how are you doing? Daddy is so sorry for being ill and away from you for so long, but I was so poorly and had to get proper help. I am coming home and will never be away from you again, I promise! Can you please give mummy a message for me? Can you tell her nanny will be bringing me home in the next half an hour, as I would rather not disturb you all having tea and going to bed? I love you a zillion bags of sugar and will see you and Isaac in the morning. It's so fabulous to hear your lovely little voice, I can't wait to give you a big hug and kiss, good night my beautiful girl. “

Ben hung up and quickly phoned his mum and explained his meds were about to arrive and could he have a lift home as it would be close to seven o'clock and Tanya would be going to bed? She wholeheartedly agreed with pleasure and was fabulous, Ben was leaving that scary place behind him and could get much better with his loving family. He thanked his mum and asked the security guard to pick up his bags and take them to the lounge, as his stomach was still a little painful, and should not lift anything heavy. So Annal Frederickson, a 35-year-old Irish guard, helped the author to move his valuables and by the time he got to the lounge, the manager came out to see Mr. Benjamin Bradshaw leave the mental health hospital and give him his meds for the next month and all the necessary paperwork.

Miss Gordon handed Ben the meds, and he put them in his suitcase along with the paperwork to read later. The middle-aged smiley woman said,

“It’s been a pleasure to have you here at Saint Alice Hospital Mr. Benjamin you have been a model resident may I wish you a successful recovery and God bless you and your family, and I hope that you don't have to come in here again, but you’ll have access to the best NHS mental health doctors and nurses and that will help you greatly.

Chapter 21

Philippa reached her son around 7 p.m.She asked the manager if someone could load the authors' bags into her car, as they were extremely heavy for them both. Daren Sidwell was only too happy to help, and the guard carried the belongings to their vehicle while Ben said his goodbyes to his friends, doctors, and nurses. He thanked all the staff for their help in his recovery and for looking after him.

He walked over to Becky, Mark, Ray and the other residents and bid his farewells; he said,

“Hey everyone, I just got my meds so I can go home to my beautiful wife and awesome children. Thank you for making me feel welcome and looking out for me. I hope you all get well soon and can go home to your loved ones.”

Ben shook Marks's hand and said,

“It's been great to meet you and talk about Iron Maiden, here is their biography for you. It's okay I have read it while I'm here. Up the irons forever and keep thinking positive matey.

Benjamin handed him the book, and they gave one another a warm embrace then he turned around and spoke to the gentle Becky; he told her,

“Thank you for being such a friendly lady and for the chocolate cake when I first came in here, I wish you all the very best and feel better soon!”

He then wished Ray the snooker extraordinaire his hand to shake, he said,

“It was fun playing your favorite game with you, you could play pro you're that good. Good luck to the future bro and all of you.”

They all cheered Ben's kind and caring nature and the staff came out of the office to wish the author the very best.

Ben's mum had been talking to the Dr. and asking if there was anything they could do at home to prevent him from coming back in. Dr. Zimmermann told her to make sure the music producer attended the psychological appointments and to keep asking how he was feeling, plus make sure he took his meds and did not miss any.

Philippa came out and asked her son if he was ready to go home, Ben smiled and said to his mum,

“I’m ready, yeah! Let’s go home to Steph and the kids”

So the manageress gave Benjamin the paperwork and said,

“I wish you well for the future Ben and hope you don't have to come to us again, but if you ever need to, we'll always make you welcome! Try not to worry about the past and think about the present and your future will be much brighter, I am sure! Goodbye, Ben, and thank you for being a model resident here and being kind, caring, and thoughtful to everyone in here!”

With that, she unlocked the main entrance and the Bradshaw's went to Seph’s Range Rover car and the mother and son drove slowly taking in every tree, house, car, person, and flower. Ben suddenly said,

“I am a little nervous about seeing my family again as I have been so poorly, and it's been a month, but because they have been on their own I feel utterly guilty. Though I'm so happy to see them. It's all I've thought about for a month.

Philippa took her keys out of her tartan jacket and clicked on the button to open the green Range rover parked 5 meters from the entrance and the son and mother gently strolled to the 2004 vehicle. The car park was empty at 7:30pm so they maneuvered towards their journey home easily.

Ben stopped as soon as he left Alice's ward and felt a release of emotions and tears came down his face. Suddenly, he realized how brave and strong he'd been in coping with not only his severe mental health conditions but being so extremely courageous for staying in the hospital, locked up away from his family and society with the possibility of a negative stigma placed upon him.

“Well those narrow-minded idiots can get lost for none of it was my fault and I still have to live with the crappy illness for the rest of my life, and they have no idea what I have been through, so sod anyone who talks about me behind my back.

After two minutes of euphoria of being out of the hospital, Ben gathered his thoughts, smiled, and then headed for the car.

The author opened the door and had to move the seat back for his mighty height of 7 foot 4 inches (ca. 10 cm) inside the cramped vehicle. He pulled the door firmly but gently shut and Philippa started the engine while Ben put his seatbelt on, the 58-year-old nurse drove away and Ben gave the biggest sigh of relief his mum had ever heard.

She smiled in the rearview mirror and said to her relieved son,

“Oh, Benjamin, your mum and dad are so proud of you for managing to get through your ordeal and survive the harsh ward of the mental health hospital. Don't look back, look forward, and you will be back to yourself again very soon. Trust in the ability of the physiologists and listen to everything they have to say, and before you know it you'll be managing your OCD, anxiety and depression and be able to live a happy life.”

Ben held his mum's hand and smiled at her and said,

“You are the most kind and caring person I ever met, thank you for those lovely words and all your support. I love you more than a million dollars. Now let's get home to Steph, Tyana and Isaac

Philippa reached her son around 7 p.m.She asked the manager if someone could load the authors' bags into her car, as they were extremely heavy for them both. Daren Sidwell was only too happy to help, and the guard carried the belongings to their vehicle while Ben said his goodbyes to his friends, doctors, and nurses. He thanked all the staff for their help in his recovery and for looking after him.

He walked over to Becky, Mark, Ray and the other residents and bid his farewells; he said,

“Hey everyone, I just got my meds so I can go home to my beautiful wife and awesome children. Thank you for making me feel welcome and looking out for me. I hope you all get well soon and can go home to your loved ones.”

Ben shook Marks's hand and said,

“It's been great to meet you and talk about Iron Maiden, here is their biography for you. It's okay I have read it while I'm here. Up the irons forever and keep thinking positive matey.

Benjamin handed him the book, and they gave one another a warm embrace then he turned around and spoke to the gentle Becky; he told her,

“Thank you for being such a friendly lady and for the chocolate cake when I first came in here, I wish you all the very best and feel better soon!”

He then wished Ray the snooker extraordinaire his hand to shake, he said,

“It was fun playing your favorite game with you, you could play pro you're that good. Good luck to the future bro and all of you.”

They all cheered Ben's kind and caring nature and the staff came out of the office to wish the author the very best.

Ben's mum had been talking to the Dr. and asking if there was anything they could do at home to prevent him from coming back in. Dr. Zimmermann told her to make sure the music producer attended the psychological appointments and to keep asking how he was feeling, plus make sure he took his meds and did not miss any.

Philippa came out and asked her son if he was ready to go home, Ben smiled and said to his mum,

“I’m ready, yeah! Let’s go home to Steph and the kids”

So the manageress gave Benjamin the paperwork and said,

“I wish you well for the future Ben and hope you don't have to come to us again, but if you ever need to, we'll always make you welcome! Try not to worry about the past and think about the present and your future will be much brighter, I am sure! Goodbye, Ben, and thank you for being a model resident here and being kind, caring, and thoughtful to everyone in here!”

With that, she unlocked the main entrance and the Bradshaw's went to Seph’s Range Rover car and the mother and son drove slowly taking in every tree, house, car, person, and flower. Ben suddenly said,

“I am a little nervous about seeing my family again as I have been so poorly, and it's been a month, but because they have been on their own I feel utterly guilty. Though I'm so happy to see them. It's all I've thought about for a month.

Philippa took her keys out of her tartan jacket and clicked on the button to open the green Range rover parked 5 meters from the entrance and the son and mother gently strolled to the 2004 vehicle. The car park was empty at 7:30pm so they maneuvered towards their journey home easily.

Ben stopped as soon as he left Alice's ward and felt a release of emotions and tears came down his face. Suddenly, he realized how brave and strong he'd been in coping with not only his severe mental health conditions but being so extremely courageous for staying in the hospital, locked up away from his family and society with the possibility of a negative stigma placed upon him.

“Well those narrow-minded idiots can get lost for none of it was my fault and I still have to live with the crappy illness for the rest of my life, and they have no idea what I have been through, so sod anyone who talks about me behind my back.

After two minutes of euphoria of being out of the hospital, Ben gathered his thoughts, smiled, and then headed for the car.

The author opened the door and had to move the seat back for his mighty height of 7 foot 4 inches (ca. 10 cm) inside the cramped vehicle. He pulled the door firmly but gently shut and Philippa started the engine while Ben put his seatbelt on, the 58-year-old nurse drove away and Ben gave the biggest sigh of relief his mum had ever heard.

She smiled in the rearview mirror and said to her relieved son,

“Oh, Benjamin, your mum and dad are so proud of you for managing to get through your ordeal and survive the harsh ward of the mental health hospital. Don't look back, look forward, and you will be back to yourself again very soon. Trust in the ability of the physiologists and listen to everything they have to say, and before you know it you'll be managing your OCD, anxiety and depression and be able to live a happy life.”

Ben held his mum's hand and smiled at her and said,

“You are the most kind and caring person I ever met, thank you for those lovely words and all your support. I love you more than a million dollars. Now let's get home to Steph, Tanya and Isaac.

Chapter 22.

Philippa Bradshaw finally got to Lamberis at 51 Los Angeles Street, Ben's semi-detached house. She pulled in behind Ben's DeLorean which had been in the drive for three weeks.

Ben began to feel nervous about getting out of his mum's car and seeing his gorgeous wife and eldest; if he was home and not at his girlfriend's house in Rhyl.

Ben froze on the spot in the Range Rover and felt guilty for getting ill and scared to face his loved ones because he'd left them alone for a month. But then he realized they were the people who loved him in the whole wide world ever and would forgive him for anything and always be understanding. So the tall and slender man removed himself from the car and walked up the tarmacked drive to his bright red door. He took his keys out of his denim jacket pocket and put them into the lock turning the metal and pushed the heavy wooden door open. He walked into the hallway, took off his jacket and removed his shoes. Likewise, he then walked into the living room to the absolute delight of Benjamin’s loved ones who had made a huge banner saying,

“Welcome home Daddy Ben we love you with all our hearts!!!”

There was an extra surprise for Tanya, who was awake and holding a gigantic card. She handed her dad the big orange envelope, and he said thanks and gave his pretty 8-year-old daughter a massive hug.

Ben slowly opened the card, and it had a picture of all four of them on holiday in Los Angeles, just three months ago for his 44th birthday. Inside it said a beautiful message which read,

“To Daddy Benjamin, welcome home, we are so glad you are feeling much better and happy you are back home where you belong!

On the next page it had a photo of Ben running the Rhyl half Marathon and underneath it were the words;

“You're in!”

Ben had no idea what it meant but loved the card and, most importantly, seeing his family. The tall man bent down and kissed his children and wife, giving them a massive embrace and said,

“Thank you so much for the card, It’s beautiful. I’m so happy to see you all and so sorry for getting ill and leaving you alone, I feel so guilty. What do you mean? I’m in?”

Stephanie, Tanya, and Isaac began to cry and hugged their husband and Dad tighter and said,

“Don’t feel guilty, our big brave Dad and husband. We love you so much and are happy to see you. You couldn’t help getting poorly, It wasn’t your fault so never feel bad, We are just so glad to have you home.

We have a monumental surprise for you that is a once-in-a-lifetime event, but we know you will love it and hopefully make you feel better, let’s just say you’ll need your trainers on for this, and it’s your favorite race that takes place in the big smoke.”

Ben's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he finally realized what his beloved family meant and had done for him. He had a massive smile on his face and said,

“Oh my goodness, can it be true? Say it is. Do you mean to tell me I’ve got a place in the London Marathon 2020? How did you do this? I love you more than all the planets in the universe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.!!!!!! I don’t deserve it, but thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Sweet Stephanie Whispered in the Man’s Ear And said,

“You deserve all the gold in Fort Knox Mr. Bradshaw. We were distressed about you, so the kids wanted to do something nice for your return. So we contacted a charity and asked if we could sign you up, so Mr. Benjamin Bradshaw, you’re going to the London Marathon 2020 and have to run 26.2 miles (ca. 42 km), we love you very much.”

Ben gave his family another massive squeeze and gentle kiss on the cheek and said,

“You're all so very kind and I can’t believe what you’ve done for me. It’s going to be magnificent but not as monumental as this moment in returning home from the dreaded hospital. I promise I’m never going to go away ever again, and I will tell you straight away if I’m feeling unwell. I promise to go to the psychological appointment and listen to everything they say.”

Stephane kissed her man and said,

“Don’t worry Hun for we know you want to get better, and you will for we have every faith in you”

As the children went to bed and Stephanie settled down with a cup of coffee and watched Netflix for an hour, Ben sat on his iPad and looked at all the photographs of his lovely family, and he knew he had the greatest wife and children in all the universe ever! He then looked at the London Marathon website on the course he would be doing in 12 months but all the time’s nasty OCD was saying,

“Listen, you dozy idiot! You have no chance of finishing that race because you’re just a fat, ugly, lazy, good for nothing bum. Your family is pretending that they love you, but just want to stick a knife in your chest and eat your heart. Ha ha ha .”

Chapter 23.

It was April 19th, 2020, the day before the London Marathon, and the Bradshaw's were full of euphoria and excitement about going to the greatest race in the world. Ben was also feeling nervous and apprehensive about running twenty-six point two miles around the roads of London because he knew it was a bloody long way. However, he had been given some great advice on how to mentally and physically take on this almighty challenge. It was to mentally cut the miles into bits and run at a pace where you could hold a conversation with someone. So he thought he would run six miles at a time, his favorite short-distance, and check in with himself to see how he was feeling while taking in all the sights. He would use his Apple Watch that his family had brought for him to keep an eye on his pace. He decided to run at a comfortable pace of nine minutes, which would get him over the most famous finish line in history. This would be four and a half hours, which is a respectable time.

He would not run fast and burn out, he would go slow and have plenty of energy.

Ben worried about his OCD for the race, but had seen a remarkable psychologist who had given him an array of mental strategies to cope with the intenseness of the wicked voice. And all the bullshit it screamed.

She made him see that what he hears is just dreadful intrusive thoughts, and can’t hurt anyone. It only exists inside Ben's mind, and he would never act on their rotten commands. He could tell himself that they are just bad thoughts that are like clouds that float over him and can watch them come into his head and then dissolve into the atmosphere, like normal thoughts. And every time he felt angry, frustrated and sickened, he would remind himself that they were simply a nasty intrusion that wanted to fight. He could acknowledge them but remember they were just mean and nasty intrusive thoughts. Whenever he hears them, he will gather them up and put them to one side and continue with his day. And always remember to enjoy the quietness when the bastards weren’t churning out their utter crap.



Stephane and Isaac made lunch for the family and the 18-year-old loaded it into the boot of the car, while Ben got ready for his big weekend of adrenaline and fun. Little Tanya packed her bag with all the clothes, teddies, and dolls she wanted to take with her, for the whole family we’re staying at a hotel overnight, so Ben could be at the start line in the morning. He took extra clothes as it would be cold standing around for an hour as he was in blue wave D, and he wasn’t due to run until 10:15Am.

The first stop in their magical weekend of running would be on the services for a well-earned rest going from Wales to England and then onto the running expo show in a building near the river Teams. This was for everyone doing the London marathon, to pick up their race numbers. It was open for friends and family to look around the stalls of companies selling their running products. The charities were also there supporting their runners they had given place to. There was also an area for photographs with the race numbers next to the TCS London Marathon sign. There were plenty of stalls of refreshments too, so when Ben and his family got to the show they immediately went and got a refreshing drink. They had to queue up for everything as it was very busy. By the time it had turned two o'clock, Ben had purchased a new pair of Puma trainers, a London Marathon t-shirt with the London bridge on the front. A brand-new hydration vest, gels and protein bars, to keep his energy up in the greatest race on the earth. He was all kitted out and now raring to go to run 26.2 miles (ca. 42 km) the next morning at Black Heath Common near Greenwich.



The alarm blared in Ben's ear at 6:45AM at the Hilton Hotel in Lewisham, 12 minutes from the start of the biggest Marathon in the world. Ben jumped out of his bed and showered, shaved and dressed in his Dragon Runners Club green t-shirt. He pinned his magnificent race number to the front and donned his new red and silver trainers that his parents had kindly given him the money for. He put on his hydration vest and made sure he had his mobile phone and charger inside, along with all the necessary gels and sustenance to keep his energy levels topped up for 26.2 miles (ca. 42 km). The author gave it to Stephane to put in his car, and then he went for breakfast in the hotel's restaurant.

The friendly runner ate scrambled eggs on toast and a large black coffee with three sugars. The kids and Steph had full English, this was so they would have plenty of energy before spectating. They didn’t want to miss seeing Ben at the different areas along the route, and would use public transportation to get around. They would re-meet at the finish line at the Mall near Beckenham Palace in hopefully 4 and a half hours.

The family finished their meal and headed for Ben’s DeLorean where they saw other runners beginning to head on foot, in cars and on public transportation.

The Bradshaw’s quickly got in their car and headed for black heath Common. There they would leave the car in a convenient car park all day and get a taxi back to pick it up at around 3pm, once Ben had crossed the finish line.

Ben drove to the large field and found a multi-story car park, so drove it inside. He picked up a token to pay later, the family headed for Black Heath. It was a circus atmosphere of runners, tents, and media coverage.

After waiting an hour and three-quarters Ben took off his jogging bottoms and long sweatshirt and put them into the pile where others had done the same for charity and the tallest competitor of the race walked to his area ready to run in fourteen minutes.

Benjamin instantly thought,

“What a phenomenal atmosphere he was experiencing surrounded by other runners ready to pound the streets of London.”

Everyone was excited and the feelings of euphoria could be seen in the entire crowd.

Paula Radcliffe and Steve Cram were at the start line, and the two most famous British runners pressed the button to begin Ben’s section of runners. 3 2 1 and. . . Off they went through the start of the most magical Marathon in any city on Earth and Ben started his Apple Watch to record his miles and pace.

The first 5k was tough with so many folks trying to find their feet and pace, it all became a big squash, but Ben held back and kept at a manageable stride away from others in front and behind him.

After 3 and a half miles, Ben found a gap and picked up his. The field in front became a lot easier to run so the author of 6 children’s books quickened up, and before he knew it, the OCD suffer was well on his way to reach 10k and out the first London; the Cutty Sark in Greenwich. The runners ran around the huge magnificent boat in the middle of the road and a huge TV screen was positioned with the cameraman pointing at everyone, so people were trying to get their faces on the BBC sports program. Benjamin couldn’t see himself, but he waved anyway just in case he was there and smiled like he’d won the entire marathon.



Now he had reached the 6-mile mark, Benjamin was unable to see himself, but he waved anyway, just in case he was there. As the Welsh runner reached the 6-mile mark, the author took out an orange gel to recuperate his energy levels and sipped some refreshing water in his hydration vest. Now the Field had opened up and Ben was able to speed up to his chosen training pace of 9 minutes per mile to reach the 4 1/2 hour mark, and he felt comfortable sustaining that speed. The music producer was mesmerized by the atmosphere around the streets for they were jammed with spectators watching this famous race, and he was amazed at everyone cheering, waving flags, and high-fiving them all. There was entertainment on the streets too, with steel drummers, a choir, dancers, and lots of music playing.

Ben was running well and pacing himself sufficiently, his legs felt strong at 13.1 miles (ca. 21 km) too. Now it was the moment he'd been waiting for, and the thrill of crossing the London Bridge was overwhelming. The crowds were deep on both sides, and they were very loud cheering every runner that went past them. It felt like a magical experience crossing the second most famous site in the English capital, after Buckingham Palace. Ben was surprised at how long the bridge was and seemed to take ages to get back onto the roads.

Coming up next was the business district and Ben suddenly felt cold, and then it began to rain, but fortunately only for ten minutes. It had also become blustery and nearly pulled Ben’s number off his shirt. It was five miles of built-up high-rise buildings.

Now Ben had reached the magic of mile 20, and he felt his legs getting heavy, so he took another gel and a protein bar to get his energy back up. The father of two stopped for five minutes and did some slow stretches and could feel the blood pumping back through his legs. He took a long sip of water and set off again.

Ben was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions that he'd reached the massive 20 miles (ca. 32 km) and realized he only had two park runs to do to get to the finish line, six-point two miles. Without Mr. Bradshaw's knowledge, Jake Gamble the Chairman of the Green Dragon running club was underneath the Big Ben clock, and he not only cheered this great brave and strong man but took a few photographs of the number 777 runner.

With 3 miles (ca. 5 km) to go, Benjamin felt a twinge in his hamstring and began to hurt. The music producer was extremely anxious that he was going to have to pull out of this immense incredible race, and unexpected, Ben’s OCD piped up saying,

“Give up now you piece of scum, your crappy body is like some old man's cock, shrivelled up and pointless. You're never going to reach the finish line because you're the worst runner on the planet.”

Ben growled at the bombardment bulshit and almost stopped and punched his head.

When he heard a new voice inside his head, which said

“Mr. Bradshaw, listen this is your guardian angel, you are doing fantastic and look how far you have run, don't give up for you have certainly got this and will feel incredible when you pass through that magical famous finish line. Your Nan and Grandad would have been so proud of you to have started the marathon, let alone run past the 20-mile marker. It's okay to walk the last 3.2 miles (ca. 5 km) if you think your body can't manage it. Ben, ignore that critical nasty voice, I have your back.”

Suddenly, Ben had reached Queen Elizabeth’s house; Buckingham's Palace, with only 600 meters to go. The seven-foot tall Welsh man felt a second wave of adrenaline, and turned around, smiled. He waved at the palace and then shot down the mall like he was on fire, at 7 minutes per mile and crossed the line in 4 hours exactly.

The man had only gone and accomplished the unthinkable and ran twenty-six point-two miles through the streets of London in the greatest Marathon on Earth.

Ben went through the finish line with his arms in the air and cheered loudly. He switched his watch off and went to phone to Stephanie to give her the great news and she and the kids jumped out of the crowd and screamed,

“You did it Daddy Ben yeah!!!

They gave their dad and husband an incredibly massive embrace and kissed him on his cheek. Isaac gave his dad a hi-five and Tanya held Ben’s hand and they both said together,

“Congratulations Daddy you just ran like a superhero in a phenomenal 4 hours yay! Go get your medal and T-shirt, you have earned it.”



So Mr. Benjamin Bradshaw walked along the end of the Mall and reached the area where his bag of a change of clothes and a sandwich and drink were. One Marshall handed him the bag and another well-deserved medal and T-shirt. The 45-year-old thanked them for organizing the most spectacular race in the history of running. The medal was stupendous and round and shiny. The T-shirt was orange and had the words London Marathon finisher on the front.

Ben Shifted through the crowd and searched for Stephanie and his children. He found them effortlessly but reaching them through the crowd was looking impossible, so the fabulous runner sat on a wall and waited for the mass of crowds to disperse. This took over 25 minutes, and he lost where his loved ones were. He rang them again and suddenly Tanya, appeared from behind her daddy and said,

“Wow, Daddy that’s a wonderful medal. I hope you will frame it with your number and a photo of you crossing the finish line because you deserve to have a treasured memento of this incredible day.”

Ben kissed his little girl and said,

“Thank you my darling Tanya, You are all epic for giving me this unforgettable running experience, I love you all”

Stephanie kissed her man firmly upon the lips for five minutes and then said,

“ I am so proud of you for running the hardest race in the world and finishing in a massive four hours you should be so happy with yourself and battling your OCD.”

Ben put his arms around his wife’s hips and looked into her eyes and said,

“Thank you my darling Stephanie I had you and the children’s love to keep me going to get through anything, and I’ve loved every single mile that I just ran and do you know in the whole four hours? I only had one intrusive thought…



Ben and his family caught a taxi from the Millennium Wheel back to Black heath Common, which took three-quarters of an hour and picked up their car from the multistorey car park and went home back to Lamberis pleased and proud Bradshaw's. And Ben could stick to fingers up at the OCD for he had ignored the negative shit to keep going in his race.

When the family got home Ben took a shower and put on his new London Marathon T-shirt and his medal back around his head.

In the days that followed Ben would show his great achievements to all his family and friends and anyone who would listen, and he kept saying to himself,

“Not only did I beat my mental health illness, but I only went and ran the bloody London Marathon yippee, so some things inside me say I was truly strong enough to run 26.2 miles (ca. 42 km) yeah, yeah, yeah!!!