A Narcissist's Lament, Rit June 26, 2024

Dramatic theatre esque piece

"Child of Aphrodite, how I despise you.
That heart of yours, how heavy must its exterior be for it to weigh so much, despite it being empty?"

"I have followed you for the longest time. You frequent town squares, docks, markets, churches, anywhere where people gather. I see your gaze flicker from each face in the crowd before you, but your expression never changes."

You'll never find what you're searching for in them. It is not there. You are alone.

"And l've seen you in your home, I've watched you there too. From the moment you arise until your final sore hour, I am there. I find it odd how your search persists, even when you are alone."
Your furrowed brow would always relax as you watch the young man before you, it is comforting to know what he thinks when he stares back. "You are alone." You'd agree silently, and leave the washroom to return to your responsibilities.
"I can tell you hate how he is the only one who fits your criteria, who understands your suffering."

"I saw you converse with a young woman the other day.
Its infuriating, you can't put on a smile for someone so kind, so honest. You tried to imagine her touch, the way her lips would feel against yours, but you can't love her knowing you do not deserve her; she is too good.
How dare you even reject her, you didn't deserve her invitation in the first place."
Maybe if you tried, she would understand and love you the way you desire. There is little risk in vulnerability, yet you will not find this out until your last moments. No one has taught you faith, to try and trust another humans autonomy. You are alone.


"I hate you. Do you understand? I loathe you. I always have. To wake up and look into your eyes is disgustingly comforting, and I hate it. To touch your battered skin and know the story behind every scar, to hear each of your fears and desires play through my head every second, to force you to feed yourself so you don't have to add starvation to your list of ailments, I hate it all.
I hate you, Narcissus."

Shaky hands reach into the depths of the pool only to retract and grab his hair violently; the night echoed his pitiful cries. The reflection had finally stopped for a breath it did not need, but not hearing its voice made him long for it more. For the first time, a thought came to him as words of his own.
Why am I alone?