PART (I)

The following hate letter may contain some sensitive content.

TO: THE GIRL I HATE THE MOST

I am no writer but I can’t keep my feeling caged inside me anymore. I hate you more than the person I love the most. You probably don’t even remember half the things you did to me. Or maybe you do, and you just don’t care. Either way, I’m done carrying your deeds like a secret I was forced to keep. I trusted you. I thought you were my friend. A friend wouldn’t have done something so harsh. You groped me. You touched me in a way that was wrong, disgusting, and invasive. Even though the incident lasted for barely three minutes, it SHOOK ME. DESTROYED ME. FUCKED WITH MY HEAD. I hated myself because of you. Even though this incident took place almost three years ago, it still haunts me. I still get nightmares. It still makes me want to scratch my skin off despite the endless promises I have made to people to never do so again. I have broken countless promises because I can’t seem to control myself at all.

I remember that traumatic night like it happened yesterday. I can’t seem to get rid of this memory no matter how hard I try. We were just seventh graders. I remember how everyone in the dormitory was sleeping and how it was a few minutes passed midnight. Even I was sleeping but you woke me up by spanking me continuously. I definitely wasn’t a fan of that act but I was sleepy. So, I decided to ignore you and the girl next to you who was supporting you in the act. I was a part of your group. Both of you were my only friends back then. I was introverted back then too so it was difficult for me to make friends. I expected both of you to stop after receiving no reaction from me, but you didn’t. It only got worse from here………………………………...