How I Write

how I look at my work if I feel that it needs an editing.

Hey everyone, so someone asked me how I write and what I do when a poem or story just isn't working, or needs editing.

When I started writing, I did it all on my own.

My big weaknesses are grammar, punctuation, and rhymes, so I push those aside at first.

My main goal is always to get the message down as simple and clear as possible.

So, let's dive in.

Here's a poem I wrote that I had to rewrite because I just wasn't feeling it and I don't like the image or thought "Too Lonely".

I had to see it from someone else's point of view to move forward.


{{I cannot take the entire world's weight on me
The world is too vast and beyond me
Growing up, I knew nothing but cruelty
I had no reason to be happy, or even to live
Led to believe, death is the only escape
Salvation could never come to me
But starvation was a daily thing for me
No matter the prayers or the cries
No man or woman came up to me

Stealing to survive, running away faster
No one could catch up to me
The taste of chapatti was enough to drive me crazy
A handful of bread slices, enough to make my mouth watery
Chunky, sweet Snickers chocolates
Worth more than gold to me
Taking a shower with warm water
Literally meant the whole world to me

Yet, even in that bleakness, a seed was planted in me
Not of bitterness, but of a silent resolve
Each sunrise I survived, each in a hurried bite
Each lonely step, they weren't just moments of pain, they were lessons
They taught me the true value of a kind heart
The unexpected joy in a shared silence
The immense power of just one more breath
The world may have been a monster
but it built up an unyielding spirit within me
Shaping me not into what it intended, but into something stronger
something that refused to bend or break

And now, this quiet grace
The gentle rustle of leaves outside my window
The warmth of a cup in my hands
A simple luxury feels so new
These are not small things
They are the universe unfolding
Each moment of peace, worth more than gold
A testament to the journey, still underway
The rough edges remain, glued into my memory
That whisper of what was, and what might yet be
Still learning to paint this present
A canvas of hues, uncertain and new
Knowing this freedom is a path still to wonder}}

***NOTES TO ME***
Leave it and start fresh.
Has the potential for a good rewrite with the first two stanzas.

**Reasons for stopping**
Theme keeps getting a bit cloudy in stanza 3 and 4 (to me?)

Also seems to be lacking some "healing and relatable" properties/factors.

Adding a bird/cat/dog/another person could work...?

**What it has and what it doesn't**
First stanza already made it clear he's alone but mainly focused how hard life is to him; hunger/starvation factor applied; works.

Second stanza made more relatable through "Desperation, the food and its taste" factor applied; works.

Stanza 3 and 4 is giving uneasy vibes; TOO LONELY? (to me?)

Seems like this will drag on; keep it simple and short? (total of 3 stanzas?)

**Ideas**
For third stanza, mixing (lonely and companionship) feels like the right thing to do?

Maybe make him a rich/wealthy/happy/joyful person in the end???

**Thoughts**
Rich/wealthy (in a financial sense) doesn't sound too suitable for this; too predictable because that's something most writers would do.

Can think of several ways to make him happy or a joyful person but that's going to need additional stanzas (nah, screw that!)

God Factor; solution to all problems, but where and how to apply in this???
Sample 1:
God, you are enough for me
Sample 2:
Oh God, Thank you for teaching me
Sample 3:
Oh God, Thank you for letting me be free

Sample 2 and 3 makes it clear that this will work (so include God Factor just before the ending?
Lonely + Companion ship + God Factor + thankful/greatful?)

Status: Abandoned



I did rewrite it, and if you're interested in finding out the final outcome, feel free to check my portfolio "The World Is Too Much For Me".

Thanks for taking your time to go through my work and sorry if you're disappointed but you know how a monkey is; totally wild, random and unpredictable.

Oh and one more thing, remember my weaknesses?
Well, for that, I had Simone to help me (I think I love her now LOL)
My last message to anyone who's new to writing will be:
"Don't do this alone, share your work and be open-minded for criticism. Writings are meant to be shared, enjoyed, and full of laughter and lessons, just as we as human beings are not meant to be alone :)"