Corn on the Cob for Beginners

A young city girl receives a lesson in Corn on the Cob from her country uncle.

Corn on the Cob For Beginners

“What’s that?”.
“Corn”.
“It is not.”.
“Sure it is Nat. Come ‘ere and help husk.”.
“No way!”.
“Come on, it’s fun!”.
“Not me! It’s dirty and what’s that stringy looking stuff?”.
“You're gonna love it.”.
“I’m not eating THAT! I want regular food.”.
“This is as regular as it gets.”.

Nat and Sylvia, Nat’s mom, are visiting Sylvia's brother. Nat is 10 and hasn’t in her memory ever been out of the city. Food, she is sure, comes nicely packed from the grocery store. For a 10 year old she’s not a bad cook. Nat follows instructions fastidiously and it usually turns out OK. She is especially proud when she makes eggs over easy for Mom and Dad.

Nat rounded the corner of the house again.

“WHAT are you doing NOW?”.
“Plucking the chicken. Wanna help?”.
“That isn’t even what chicken looks like!”.
Rob turned it over so Nat can see the wiggly feet.
“THAT is DISGUSTING! Mom! This place SUCKS!”.

Nat went to her phone looking for solace from her friends.

Rob is having fun.

Sylvia stepped out of the house, “What are you doing to my kid!?”.
“Educatin’, you should try it.”.
“Shut up brat. Beer?”.
“Yes please.”.
“On it’s way.”.

An hour later they sat down for corn on the cob, fried chicken and mashed potatoes.

Nat said, “This smells good Mom, where did you order from?”.
Rob let her know, “We don’t order out much here. Dig in Nat.”.
“Is that the corn? How do you get it off that thing?”.
Mom said, “It’s called a 'cob' Nat. Rob, why don't you show her how it’s done.”.

Rob put a cob on Nat’s plate and another on his.
“First, take a piece of bread and put a big chunk of butter on it.“.
Nat watched and did as he did, ‘big whoop.’.
“Good, now grab the cob in one hand and the bread in the other and roll the cob in the butter. Like this.”.
“It’s hot!”.
“Sorry, here…”.
Rob pushed a cob holder in each end and put it back on Nat’s plate.
“Try it now.”.
Nat held the cob by a holder and rested it on the butter. She twirled it and twirled it again. First as fast as she could, then slower. With considerable concentration she watched the butter melt on the kernels and fill between rows fill until it was thoroughly soaked. Interesting, kinda fun.

“Great job! Now for a little salt and pepper. Rest one end on the plate and turn.”.
Rob did a few Nat twirls while shaking the salt and pepper mix.
Nat did the same, she was getting good at this and was sure it completed her cooking skills.
Rob said, “That’s it! We’re ready.”.
Nat asked, “So how do you get it off the cob thing?”.

Mom smirked, “Watch Uncle Rob, he’s good at this.”.
Rob opened his mouth wide and bit the corn off the cob. Butter and pieces of corn dribble down his chin.
“Too messy!”
Mom gave her permission, “Messy is OK Nat. Messy is good. Go for it!”. She tossed a kitchen towel at her.
Nat took a tentative bite.
“Hey, Go big or go home!”.
Rob leaned over his plate and with a twinkle, looked her straight in the eye and ran the cob across his mouth chomping his way through a whole row of corn in one big, loud, messy, tasty bite.

Nat laughed and took up the challenge.
Cob to mouth, she took a big bite, stopped, looked her uncle in the eye and chomped her way across half the cob. Butter was dripping onto her lap. She took a moment, smiled and buzz sawed her way with wide eyes and great fanfare through the rest of the row.
“THE best EVER!”. She grabbed the towel and ran it up her neck and chin.

Mom said, “Good eh? Now for the bread.”.
“The soggy one I used to butter the corn?”.
“That’s the one.”.
First a little bite. “WOW!”, she gulped some cold water and took a few more bites, not quite remembering any manners.

Mom reminded her, “Try Uncle Rob’s chicken.”
“Is that…?”.
“Yep, try it.”
Nat trusted them more now so she took a bite, “Good, better than KFC.”.
“Gee thanks.”

Corn on the cob fascinated Nat. It gave her a new way to think about food - ‘So that’s were corn comes from’. Preparing it and eating it was so much fun. She wanted to use her new skill.

Nat very thoughtfully carried out each step for her second cob. Poke each end with a holder. It’s OK to hold the cob with a napkin or paper towel at first. Roll it in the butter on the bread. It has to be fully covered with melted butter. Turn it on the plate and salt and pepper it. Check carefully. When it's ready, bite the kernels off the cob, sometimes two rows, sometimes three, all the way across.

Nat was excited to tell her friends. She went to her phone and talked for hours with the air of an experienced expert.

Rob was thinking rabbit stew for tomorrow. Maybe a pig roast on the weekend.



This piece has been submitted to the American Heart Association for approval. A pithy rejection is forthcoming.