The Party's Over

Never, never let this happen to you. Fair warning.

My home is my castle. It is so secluded that the only visitors I get are lost ones who can’t find their way out of my cul de sac. I’d made sure of my privacy. I’m at the end of a one way street with signs pointing the other way. I love it.

I do maintain social contacts outside of my home. The only visitor in recent history was Andrea, almost family, the same age, and raised with me in my parent’s home. We were at her new apartment. It had all the latest amenities. It looked straight out of an interior decoration magazine. I’d had to take my shoes off to keep from dirtying the plush white carpet.

“She’s an ah ah ahchooie!” Andrea Norton sneezed, wiped her nose with a fast backhand and blinked bleary eyes at me. I invited her to your party and?”

“No kidding,” I joked, “Never met a female martial arts expert before. Does she shake hands when we meet or bow and throw me over her shoulder?”

“Sorry. I’ve got a code,” said my best friend. “When I got sick she said she’d help. Isn’t that nice?”

I was on a roll. “You’ve always been a little hard to decipher. So explain to me what’s so special about this woman without a name?”

Andrea was fighting another sneeze. I watched as she fought it, gave in, and nearly blew my hanky I offered into another dimension. “Sorry,” she said. “I can’t tell you anything about her.”

“Then why bring her up?” Sometimes Andrea can be a little opaque.

“Because of your birthday, silly. It’s going to be a surprise party.”

“Nice surprise, Andrea. You just told me about it.”

“Not that kind of surprise. She’s a professional location finder. You know how hard it is to find your home on that dead end street. She’s going to help with that and more.”

“Where’d you find this professional location finder/” I wondered idly. Another thing about Andrea is she gets excited about projects. Usually, they turned out harmless because they didn’t get done. She was off to the next one too soon.

“Can’t tell you. That’d ruin it.” Andrea finished rubbing the red knob of her nose with the end of her blouse before tucking it inside her skirt. “I’m really under the weather. I’m going to be unable to attend but she’s taking care of everything. Don’t worry about anything.”

I didn’t give her the usual hug when we said our goodbye’s. She kissed air, scrunched up her nose, and tried blowing the top of her head off. “Be seeing you.”

The day of my birthday arrived without any more communication about the party. Another Andrea bust. I called. “You feeling better?”

“Turned out to be Covid. I’m better but can’t see anyone yet. Did Felicia get hold of you? She got Covid from me, but the party is still on. Isn’t she amazing? Look online. We spread the word.”

That’s when the first knock on my door announced an arrival. “Hey. We’re here. Where’s the cake, booze, and free gift. You gotta come out and pay our Uber driver. The birthday party announcement said there's no expense held back to make your party a success.”

I dropped the phone, breaking not only the connection but the phone itself. “Spread the word? What did that mean?” There it was online, the big announcement about celebrating my birthday near and far. The far didn’t worry me. The near did. There detailed directions to my hard to find (on purpose) home along with the news about an open house party with benefits.

The knocks got louder. Within minutes an angry crowd trampled my flowers, while more snarled up traffic, honking horns yelling back at my neighbors calling the police about the public disturbance. The locks on my doors were threatening to give way.

Sirens began blaring as the crowd thickened. I watched the news channel describe the mayhem outside my door. Reporters spread rumors about what the out of control demonstration was about. Tear gas clouds began filling the air.

Fire trucks nudged cars out of the way. Hoses began drowning the angriest chants. People stopped throwing rocks, trash cans, and stray cats at each other and began to disperse.

When the cops replaced angry party goers pounding on my front door, I made my escape out a side window into one of my neighbors' yards. Their dog only took an inch out of my back pocket with his teeth as I jumped over their fence into an alley and my final escape.

A handy restaurant phone got me a subdued Andrea. “She’s here with our pal Covid. She’s sorry about how things turned out and is going to make it up to you. I’ll put her on.”

I hung up. I’d have to move and fast. Places like mine were impossible to find. No more privacy until I did. I made myself one promise as I called Andrea back. I’d have to keep it simple or she’d never get the message. Never invite a cartographer to a birthday party.

Word Count 858