Big Beautiful Bill

Prompt Entry for Writers Cramp

The truth is I needed change and fast. I knew the bill was bigger than any I had attempted to pass before, but it was useless just sitting in the house. I could and would make it pass, I had no doubts. All I needed was to avoid scrutiny which, so far, was not a problem.The average Joe America was easily distracted. That's how I had always gotten away with it before, why change? Knowing what I know now, maybe I should have worried, because I was about to walk away with much more than I'd ever dreamed of.

Wearing my easy smile I confidently strolled up the aisle and asked “Hey, can you break this?” I slid the hundred dollar bill across the counter towards the store clerk.

Sure, in a few of my early tries, I'd get a “No”. More often than not they would just shrug, grab the counterfeit twenty and hand back a couple of tens; real ones. That's what I call change! But that day was different, just slightly. She said,

“Can't, lest ya buy sumtum.”

Determined to not show my nervous disappointment I tightened my smile while I glanced over what items were close. My best options of “sumtum” were gum, mints, a lone pickle floating in a jar, lottery tickets or a nudie magazine.

“One of those.” I gestured.

“Okie dokie” she said. I waited to exhale in relief until I heard her hand slam the register drawer closed and offer 95 dollars of real money with the other. Glee ran through me the instant I felt the genuine texture of the bills. I wanted to, and almost did, run with joy out the door, but her words stopped me dead:

“Ya forgot yer lotto!.”

I took and shoved the ticket into my pocket, where it would sit for weeks. Bur, just like that I was 95 bucks richer and felt on top of the world! Real funny huh? Cause now I own the world.

—

The aid watched as the President nodded off into a blissful sleep induced by some Russian fine vodka left by his predecessor. A truth that occurred to him now: whether fate or choice, corruption always will find a way into this office.