Half What?

a philosophical question

Going to Smitty’s was not just about lunch, in fact, most of the time lunch was something to be done while pursuing the main objective of the visit - discussing life’s questions, great and not so.

One day as I sat contemplating a bowl of clam chowder, Stewie, a car mechanic, came in and sat down next to me at the counter.

“Hi Stewie - Boy, is this chowder good - look at all the clams in it!”

From the open kitchen came Smitty’s voice - “Those aren’t clams.”

I said, “What are they?”

Smitty replied, “You don’t want to know”.

Hearing this Stewie looked at me and said, “When you’re happy, why look for an answer that might make you unhappy?”

I thought this over for a second and then continued to enjoy my clam chowder or whatever it was.
In between spoonfuls, I asked Stewie if he ever pondered the great philosophical questions in life.

He stopped eating, looked at me and asked, “What questions did you have in mind?”

I thought it over a moment and said - “You know great questions like - Is the glass half empty or half full?”

“Why is that a great question? “I said, “I don’t know, but it might be that no one has been able to answer it once and for all.” I went on, “Some say, an optimist would say it is half full and a pessimist would say it is half empty.

Bill, on the other side of me, said, “If the question was - Are there clams in the clam chowder here? - To think so, you would have to be an optimist.”

Again, Smitty’s voice rang out - “If you think you will be getting lunch in here after that - you’re an optimist.”

Bill said, “Optimism has nothing to do with lunch here”

Ignoring Bill, Stewie went on with a shrug of his shoulders to say that the question was neither great nor difficult and that he had the answer once and for all.I waited and he said, “It all depends on the condition of the glass when you receive it.”

I said, “What do you mean - when you receive it?”

He looked at me and said that if you wanted to know if the glass was half-full or half-empty at some point you must have gotten the glass. Otherwise you would know whether it was one or the other because of what you did to it. Not knowing the condition of the glass would mean someone else had done something to it and gave it to you.

My clam chowder sat cooling, as I had forgotten it altogether. I thought about THE GLASS but remained confused as to Stewie’s meaning.

Stewie looked at me with something akin to pity and went on, “Forget about what you may have done to
the glass and think of it from the point of view that someone has given you a glass”.

I suspended my confusion and said, “Go on.”

“If you receive the glass with nothing in it and then liquid is added - the glass is half full,” he stated. He continued, “If on the other hand you receive the glass with liquid already in it and then liquid is removed then it is half empty”.

Yes - I thought - that is the answer. But in the back of my mind was a nagging question.

“How do you know if the glass is given to you with liquid in it and nothing is done to it?”, I asked him.

Stewie regarded me with exasperation and with a sigh asked, “Why are you trying to change the question?”

“What do you mean?”, I asked.

“Now you want to know - if no one sees a person putting water in a glass or pouring some out - is the glass half empty or half -full? I want you to know I think it is unreasonable to believe that the water got in or out of the glass by itself.” Stewie said with an edge in his voice. “Nothing happens to anything without somebody or something making it happen.”, he continued.

I realized that we had very likely come to a philosophical crossroads and the goal of the discussion was becoming cloudy and my lunchtime was coming to an end. I pointed out to Stewie that his answer did not seem to be complete and as I had to leave for the day and it was Friday that the rest of the answer would have to wait until at least Monday. I went on to say that this left me with an uneasy feeling of uncertainty.

As he left his stool Stewie said, “Isn’t uncertainty what we all live with every day?”

He left; I gulped down the rest of my chowder and went back to work.