“Spandex"

"Spandex" The Musical Masterpiece from “Gundam Wing; The Musical”
[Spotlight Centers on Sr. Yuy with prop Gundam in the dark behind him]

Sr. Yuy: [melodramatically at the Gundam]
WHAT’S WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!?!

(piano jazzy music starts)

I’m itchy!
It’s chaffing down there!
I’m *twitchy*!
I can’t wear underwear.

(Other pilots make their way onto the stage wearing similar shorts over their trademark outfits)

All: Constricting, confining, it hurts and I’m whining…

S P A N D E X ! ! !

[Sr. Yuy half assededly dances across the stage and points at the cardboard gundam cutout.]

Sr. Yuy: You strap me down to the seat!
[Duo scratches his nose and looks away]

Sr. Yuy: I’ve lost all feeling to my feet!
You BOTH are to blame!
Because the affects are---
All: [like barber shop quartet] all the same...
AS...
S P A N D E X ! ! !

So much for KIDS!

Sr. Yuy: Aww shit! I never wanted any anyway…

All: WHY?!?

Sr. Yuy: [winks] Well, because I’m gay!

All: [sweatdrop and walk off stage tugging on the cheap, confining material]

Duo: Damn! How do you get into these pants, Heero?

Sr. Yuy: [raises eyebrow and smiles mischievously] You can start by shutting up and undoing that braid of yours...

[end] <---tee hee...(Get it?)