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They thought they had it all figured. Secrecy and all. But that was before the accident. |
| Erick Metcalf met Miss Crystal Eryn Sandlewood on June 2, 1998, through a website they both frequented. Not in the chat room, but talking via instant messages about their favorite activities on the site itself. On June 2nd, she responded via email to one of his very positive comments with a wonderful message, and their lifetime of love began. She was fifteen, about to start her sophomore year of high school. He was 52, and had lost his wife some years before in a tragic auto accident. In the eight weeks that followed, they continued commenting on the things the other liked about the site, and the works each had started posting there. Also in that time, through daily email and instant messages, they found themselves not only getting to know each other better, but actually falling in love, even though they’d never dated, or kissed each other. They started talking about married life, kids, their house, and many other things, without ever “formally” acknowledging the idea. Then, on July 17, 1998, at 11:45 P.M., during an instant message exchange they’d been having for about an hour, Erick somehow found the courage to say it: Erick: With the way we’ve been talking tonight, and the last few nights, we’ve covered the subject but never said it yet. I’ll repeat this when we’re face to face, but we can say it now, too. “kneels”. Miss Crystal Eryn Sandlewood, you make me AND my life complete. And I want to keep it that way. Will you marry me?” Erick: And that PC better not lock up on this one! --- long pause --- Erick: Oh, oh... I’m in trouble. Crystal: I love you, Erick, and yes, I will. Crystal: You’re not in trouble, you big goon, I couldn’t type. Erick: Now I can’t! See what your answer did to me? Crystal: See what your QUESTION did to me? Crystal: That’s the first time I’ve ever experienced complete and total shock! With that behind them, their love grew deeper and more important to both of them with each passing day. The rest of her high school time passed quickly for both of them. They were so busy with staying in touch with each other that those three years were gone before they knew it, and her 18th birthday came and went not quite three weeks after she graduated. One of the sticking points of their three years of romantic conversations and planning for their future, though, was her college plans. She’d already planned on applying to the big names: Stanford, Yale, etc. He was able to get her to at least consider some colleges local to him, in the hope that they could be together. Like UK and others. But he was scared to death she’d go for the big names, which meant miles more between them until she had her Doctorate. If she went to one of the colleges there, at least they could be together while she worked her way toward her goals. Even if they put the wedding off till she had the Ph.D. that was fine by him as long as they were together. But he didn’t hold out much hope for that. He felt like one of the college athletic recruiters, but working in the academic area: “We’ve got a real nice school here, but how can we compete with those big names?” He just hoped and prayed she’d give it a fair chance. That’s all he could do. He even told her he’d help with her homework. And he would, too. Still, all he could do was wait and see. With only a short time till most colleges held their orientations, UK included, he was getting nervous; she hadn’t said anything, and for a solid 12 days he couldn’t even reach her online. But all that changed with a single phone call just days before orientations began. “Hello?” “Erick?” “Yes?” “Oh, honey, I’m so, so sorry. I… have something I… need to… tell you. I’m okay, you can tell that, right? But… I’ve been in a car accident, and… well, before I can tell you the rest, I need to apologize, honey. My urgent need to call you made my parents curious, and I wound up telling them everything about us. My… dad wants to talk to you, then he’ll let me talk to you again. I love you.” “Erick?” “Yes, sir?” “Well, that’s a nice start. Don’t hear that kind of respect much these days.” Erick noticed he calmed down a bit. “Well, sir, I was taught to respect authority, and you’re the authority where Crystal is concerned.” “Right. Now. Crystal tells us you two are planning to marry later on. Is that true?” “Yes, sir, it is.” “You’re not one of these dirty old men that preys on young girls, are you?” “No, Mr. Sandlewood, I’m not. I haven’t tried to hide anything from Crystal. She has my address, and all my phone numbers. Would I have given her those if I was intending anything of that kind toward her?” “No, I suppose not. And at least this number is legitimate. I had her call you. So I guess this is on the level.” “You can count on that, sir.” “Are you Catholic, Erick?” “No, sir, but I certainly respect Crystal’s right to her own choice.” “Good. I like that. Now. Didn't it even occur to you to ask her age when you two started talking about things other than your writing? Especially about getting married? "To be honest, Mr. Sandlewood, no it didn't. Because she has sounded so adult from the beginning, in both her knowledge and English usage that it never crossed my mind." "Well, I certainly have to concede that one to you, Erick. Crystal's highly intelligent for her age as you now know. Her mother and I have been talking to her for most of her school years as if she were a few years older than she really is, and with no problem at all. For us, or her. But... why didn't you end the relationship when the conversation did touch on education and you found out she was still in high school?" "Again, Mr. Sandlewood, to be perfectly honest with you, by that time, with all we'd shared about ourselves with each other, I was already so deeply in love with Crystal as a person that I decided I had to take that chance." "Well, Erick, I have to give you credit for one thing here. You didn't just say you wanted her so badly that you had to take that chance. That's what I expected, but you surprised me when you said you loved her so much as a person that you had to take the chance." "Next question. You and Crystal both said you've shared almost everything with each other. So. You're aware that she has some medical problems, right? In addition to the accident, I mean." "Yes, sir. She can have short term memory problems at anytime, and when her medicine for that wears off she can be moody, grumpy, defensive, or even more emotional than usual, or some combination of those. And, she gets migraine headaches too, that can go for days at a time." "That sure covers it alright, Erick. Now. Knowing all of that, never having seen her, let alone dated her, and not even knowing, yet, the extent of her injuries from the accident, you're still going to tell me you want to marry her?" "Yes, sir, I am." "Why, Erick?" "Because I know the person she is inside, Mr. Sandlewood. Looks can be deceiving. She could look like a model and be a really mean or bigoted person on the inside. But I've fallen in love with the person she really is, as she has with me. Medical problems and age should never be allowed to stand in the way when the love two people share is real." “Hmmm… That’s what she told us, too. About the person inside each of you. Okay. Now. Since you two have never dated and I’ve not had a chance to get to know you, Erick, I’m going to have to ask you to let me run a background check on you. There isn’t much time left before Crystal has to start classes, so I have to do it this way. Do you have any objections to that?” ”No, sir, not at all.” ”Good, I like that. You didn’t hesitate with your answer, and that’s a good sign to me. I have contacts at the local police department so I can get this done today.” After giving him my full name, age, birth date, social security number, and driver’s license number, he said, ”Thank you for your cooperation, Erick. If I have any questions for you I’ll be calling you later tonight, but to save us some more time since your quick response tells me your record is likely to be clean, let’s continue here. Now. Tell you what. I’m not too fond of the age difference between you, but I promised Crystal I’d give it a chance by listening in as she talks to you about what’s happened, then tell you what I think. You got any objections to my listening in on the extension?” “No sir, as a matter of fact I want you to. I have nothing to hide, and this is my chance to prove to you that what I feel for Crystal is real.” “Okay. I’ll give her the phone. But you two don’t say one word till I tell you. Got it?” “Yes, sir.” “Yes, dad,” Erick heard her say in the background. Soon, Erick heard the click of the phone extension, then, “OK, honey, go ahead and tell him.” “Erick?” “Yes, darling?” “That accident I mentioned?” “Yes, sweetheart?” “I… need to know how you feel about… something.” “Honey, I can tell you’re scared to death. I told you ages ago, my love. You could be in a wheelchair, or without an arm or a leg and it doesn’t change anything. I’ll wheel you down that aisle for our wedding myself if I have to.” “Hmmm…” her dad said, quietly. Erick wondered if he knew it was audible. “Oh, Erick! I... needed to hear you say that, honey. I… I…” “What, darling?” “I was… trapped in the car. It… overturned. They had to… cut me out if it. My…” He could tell she was still terrified. He decided to take a guess. If he was wrong, she could correct him. If he was right, though, she’d relax some because he'll have saved her the pain of actually having to tell him. “Darling, you lost an arm or a leg, didn’t you?” “One of each,” she said, a light laugh in the process. “Geez. Sounds like I’m ordering something in a store: ‘I’ll have one of each.’ God, that’s bad!” He laughed with her for a moment. At least they’d broken through the worst of her fear, but he knew it was still there. Things like this are too traumatic for it not to be. “Honey, it changes nothing. We’ve still got a date at the altar. Now. Just so I know what to expect, which ones did you…?” “Both on the right,” she interjected. They were crushed when the car rolled over. Couldn’t be saved.” The fear was still in her voice, maybe a little shock from it all was there, too. “Sweetheart, I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it as often as you need, or even just want to hear it. It doesn’t change the person you are. You’re still the Crystal I fell in love with, and still the Crystal I want to marry. Got that?” He asked firmly. He wanted no doubt left in her mind at all about that. “Erick, I love you so much! It’s not that I didn’t believe you, honey.” He could tell the relief in her voice. “I just had to hear you say it, I guess.” “Honey, what’s this going to do to your college plans?” “Nothing if I can find someone to help me get to school and from class to class. I’m out of the hospital already. The stumps are sensitive but I can do anything I want. No medical restrictions except antibiotics till they heal, and a six-month wait for firm healing before I can get artificial ones fitted.” “Where are you going to go, darling?” He knew that his fear would still show on that one. “Well, I’ve been accepted almost everywhere I applied, honey. I…” “May I... cut in for a second, Crystal?” “Um… sure, dad.” “Honey, you've been through a lot in the last 2 weeks or so. You don't need any more stress, and your decision here can have a big bearing on that. This has to be totally your choice so you are comfortable with it. Assuming Erick's record is clean, listen carefully. I know we talked about all the big-name schools and all that, but which would you rather have? The prestige school where you don’t know anyone and could have trouble being accepted by the other students and getting the help you might need, or a well-rated school that can still give you the education you want, but where you already have someone whom you can trust to help you, and will support you if you encounter any discrimination?” Crystal let out an involuntary squeal of delight. Erick’s heart relaxed for a split second at knowing they had his approval, but it went right back up into his throat waiting for her answer. “I see your point, dad. I like the big names, but that won’t help me in any personal way, and I’m going to need a lot of that for a while. Erick?” “Yes, honey?” He was a bundle of nerves. He hoped and prayed she couldn’t tell. She was going through enough right now without knowing that. “Um… I’m sorry for all the doubt I put you through on where I’d go to college, my love. Can you forgive me for that and… let me come to UK, so you can help me? Things will be tough enough as it is with my new limits. I’ll need a lot of help, and I’ll need someone I’m comfortable with to help me because a lot of that help will have to be in very personal ways. Like... God this is embarrassing, but... I can't even dress myself right now.” “Honey, you know you’re forgiven. I’ve told you 1000 times that I couldn’t handle life without you. That I don’t want a life without you. So I have to forgive you.” “Well, you two,” her dad cut in, “now that we have the important decisions made,” he chuckled, “there are a couple others to be taken care of so that we have everything in place in case Erick's record is clean. This will have us set to go.” “Like what, dad?” “Well, for one thing, do you still want to try dorm life?” “I have a thought there, Mr. Sandlewood, if I may,” Erick cut in. “Let’s hear it, Erick.” “Well, Crystal’s going to need a lot of help for the next six months to a year till she gets those artificial limbs and then gets comfortable with maneuvering them. What about her staying with me this first year or so, and if she still wants the dorm life experience after that she can move in once things have settled down. That would let me take better care of her early on when she really needs it.” “How’s that sound to you, Crystal?” “It’s a little disappointing not to go right to the dorm, but I think Erick’s right, dad. I’m still in shock from all this as it is, let alone trying to get used to being without my best arm. Geez! I gotta learn how to write all over again!” she suddenly shouted. “Sorry, that… just hit me,” she said. “And… it… frightens me now.” Erick heard the fear again. “Crystal, darling, remember: I still love you. Even now. Especially now, sweetheart!” “Honey, do you want me to come in there?” asked her dad. “No, dad, stay on the phone. I need to hear things from both of you right now, and you can’t hear Erick unless you’re on there.” “Okay, honey. Erick?” “Yes, sir?” "I like your idea, and obviously Crystal does too, especially now." "She can even come here sooner to get settled in and have time to relax before hitting the grind. Um… have I… shown you how I feel about Crystal, sir? I mean… how I really feel about her?” “Yes, you have, Erick. I wouldn’t have taken your suggestion otherwise. And, I like your idea about her having time to relax. After all this she can really use that. Okay, you two. Erick, I’m satisfied with your intent toward Crystal. I’ll get that background check done, and the three of us will talk tonight. I just remembered one other thing we’ll need to talk about if your background is clean. Will you be there later this evening?” ”Yes, sir, I’ll be here all evening. No problem. ”Thanks again for your cooperation, Erick. We’ll talk to you later.” ”Bye, honey,” Crystal said quickly. ”Bye, sweetheart.” A few hours later, Erick's phone rang. “Hello?” ”Erick?” ”Yes, Mr. Sandlewood?” ”Crystal’s on the other phone. Your background check was flawless, a real surprise. Not even a traffic ticket in the last 20 years. I like knowing that and that my daughter is such a good judge of character.” ”Thanks, dad. I love you for that. Can we get on with this please?“ ”Eager are you, honey?” I laughed, trying to ease the tension for both of us. ”Yeup,” was all she said. ”OK, you two,” her dad laughed. Listen up. She needs to be at UK in two days to start orientation. I’ll call them when we’re done here and get her in through their late registration process. Are you ready to handle things for her if we get her up there?” “You can count on it." "I thought so. We’ll talk about getting her up there in a minute. We’ve still got that one other thing I mentioned a moment ago to get taken care of.” “What’s that, dad?” Well, honey, I think you both heard my comments earlier, but I’ll follow up on those and start our discussion of this topic with a statement. Welcome to the family, Erick!” Crystal’s shriek of joy almost popped Erick’s eardrum, even through the phone. “Thank you, sir!” He made sure he was polite on that one. “Don’t you think you’d better start calling me ‘Al’?” he quipped. “Yes, I suppose I should, Al. And thanks.” “You’re welcome, Erick. I should thank you as well.” “What for?” “Two things, really. Proving what Crystal’s felt all along about age not being a factor in true love, for one thing, and proving your intentions for her by being there for her at a critical time like this, especially since you’ve never even seen her, let alone you two having a chance to date or anything. Your feelings have to be serious. I have to admit I’m a bit skeptical of how many boys her age would’ve stuck by her at this point even if they had been on a date with her.” “Yeah, me too, dad. They all seem so immature to me.” “Crystal, I used to chuckle when you’d say that. But now, especially in this situation, I must admit I agree with you. Okay. Now. With as personal and necessarily intimate as you two are going to be so soon, I think the rest of the family would feel more at ease if we got the wedding worked in here somewhere. Is that okay with you two?” “Dad?” Crystal asked with a laugh in her voice Erick hadn’t heard for a while. It felt good to him to hear her that happy again. “Yes, honey?” “Erick would’ve married me three years ago if you would’ve signed for me!” she almost shouted. “You know, Crystal, after all we’ve talked about in these two conversations there’s no doubt in my mind that he certainly would have done just that.” They all laughed. “Well, how about it?” Al asked again. “You won’t get any argument from me, that’s for sure,” Erick said quickly. “I didn’t think we would, honey,” Crystal chimed in, laughing. “Darling, you have no idea how much it warms my heart to know I was able to bring a smile to your face and a laugh to your heart after what’s just happened to you.” “Thanks, darling. I really do appreciate it. You always know how to make me feel good.” “Alright, you two,” Al laughed. “You can get back to that later. Can we finish working on details here? We need to get her up there, remember? “Right, dad,” Crystal laughed. “No argument from me on the wedding either.” “Okay. Now. Where do you want it, honey? Here or Lexington?” “All my friends are here, but we decided Erick’s church ceremony would fit our mood better. Sorry, dad.” “That’s okay, honey. Is it Lexington, then?” “I think we can combine the two ideas,” Erick said. “How’s that, Erick?” “Let me contact my pastor. He can find a church in our denomination down there and set it up. That way all Crystal’s family and friends can be at her wedding, and we get the ceremony we want, too. Pastor Chris might even be able to come down there with me and perform the ceremony himself.” “Sure, dad, and if he can’t do it that way, we’ll do it in Lexington.” “How soon can you find out, Erick?” “I’ll send him an email when we’re off here, Al. We could know something in a day or so, about the time Crystal gets here if she comes early. She could even meet him once she’s here and we can set it all up.” “Great. I’ll let you two get back to the things you haven’t said to each other for a while. I’m going to check into airline tickets to there, Erick. Plan on her arriving in a day or so if I can get her on board.” “Just let me know the flight and arrival time, and I’ll be ready and waiting, Al. I’ve wanted this for three years.” “I know that, now, Erick. And thanks again for being there for her. I’ll have her let you know.” “No need to thank me, Al. I happen to be totally in love with her. That’s all the reason I need to do anything.”
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