The Ex-Roommate

The Ex-Roommate

         The skies were cloudy with promises of snow. I pulled my coat closed and shivered against the biting cold of the winter. I made it back to my dorm room with my face flushed from the cold outside. I walked in and was greeted by my other two roommates who were both sitting at their computers typing away. After a bit of small talk I headed to my own computer and sat down to begin a paper for one of my classes. The room is silent besides the sound of fingers gently typing away at the computers accompanied by the occasional giggle of one of the roommates laughing at what a friend said on an instant message. Before I began to type I noticed something- the quiet. Not to mention the atmosphere of the room was very laid back and comfortable. It had been a week since break and just then I noticed how odd our dorm room sounded and felt since our past roommate had left at break.
         I turned to look at my other roommates and mentioned it. They thought about it for a moment then agreed. The room was a lot quieter, no more yelling from our aggressive and dramatic roommate. Not to mention our room was not as tense as it was when she was here. There was no more tip-toeing around the room for fear that she would blow up at you for the slightest infringement on her for whatever reason she could think of no matter how absurd. It was actually rather peaceful with her gone and for once
         I could say my piece without the fear of her jumping down my throat. There was also a pleasant scent to the air of our room and people would always comment on it whenever they entered the room. There was no more pungent stale odor that seemed to haunt our room no matter how much air freshener we used or how long we left the windows open for.
         The bedroom seemed bigger with all of her stuff gone as well. The bed was unmade; the mattress was dingy and desolate looking on that top bunk with all of her things gone. I could no longer wake up in the middle of the night and see her blankets dangling over the side of her bed in front of me. She was a friend of mine who had come with me from high school and although we had gotten along very well the first few weeks she changed so drastically that I couldn’t say I missed her now. Our friendship was now as empty and desolate as that top mattress that claimed the top bunk of my bed. Sad that a friendship that was once so good had to end so badly.
         There was no more clutter of clothes on the floor, just dust and dirt from my shoes. Where there was an array of items varying from small trinkets to big picture frames on the dresser was now just my small jewelry box and a letter from home. Our bathroom didn’t smell of the strong perfume she wore that matched her personality so well. There were no more brushes, mirrors, and other girly paraphernalia of hers lying around. In fact the bathroom was much cleaner with her stuff out of the way.
         Yet somehow our room seemed empty without her here as well. Although none of us miss her self-righteous attitude and her late night phone calls not to mention her loud and unforgiving voice we did miss her good side. The part she didn’t show so often but that we knew was there. Like the times she would come and sit on my bed with me when I was depressed and be that friend I once had back home all over again. It was like nothing changed when we sat on my bed together and talked about things like our future, our lives, where we are headed and the things that truly mattered to us at that time. She seemed like such a different person at that time and you could see her good side coming through without a barrier to stop it. It wasn’t that she was an angry person all the time. This school just clashed with what she wanted to do with her life at that time.
         We began to see less and less of her as she would go home every weekend and sometimes not come back for days. Her attitude came on the raise and you could never say anything right and you were always wrong in her eyes. Nothing here mattered… not even me who was once her best friend. I was sad at first when she said she was leaving at the semester, but then I began to see that this was for the best. She would no longer be holding me back from the person I wanted to be and she would be much happier at home.
         Things did not end well with us however as I finally told her how I felt. I still remember her sitting in our red easy chair that sat in front of her computer with our Christmas lights decorating the wall behind her along with an array of pictures of smiling faces. The smiling faces of the pictures clashed with the look on her face as I told her how I felt for the first time in my life. Her face would fall and then flare with anger. She didn’t speak until I was done but I could almost taste her anger as she sat in that red chair with her face almost as red with fury. She didn’t say anything to me after that and I left the room only to later receive a letter from her which she thought would explain her actions. We left for break not speaking too much knowing that our friendship had changed and wouldn’t go back to where it had been once before.
         Now I am back in school in the same dorm room sitting in the same red chair but I am no longer unhappy. I sit in the chair with a smile on my face laughing with my other roommates. The tension has left the room. She took all of her anger with her and it seemed the room sighed with relief to be gone of such a heavy burden. Our room is no longer cluttered with various objects of hers or with her anger and attitude. It was better then before. I didn’t think I could survive without having a friend here by my side but now I know that I can and I will. Her being here had stopped me from being the strong person I wanted to be. I couldn’t stand up to anyone until I stood up to her. I finally did that and now I seemed to be at peace with myself. For what had to be the first time since school started in August I was happy with the way things were going and I knew I could go on with my life and be stronger for what happened with our friendship. I knew things would be better for both of us.
         Although the empty bed still stands and stares at us with its sad and lonely eyes we won’t touch it or put blankets on it. It’s almost a monument to her and everything she gave us our first semester of our first year of college. The majority of it may not have seemed to be so great in the beginning but you live and learn and now I know things happened that way for the better. Although drastic it had to happen. And now with the cold winter winds blowing the snow across the parking lot and the people outside shivering against it, I can sit in my room and be filled with the warmth of laughter and happiness instead of the sadness that I had before.