The Obsession

“The Obsession”
by Marcus Cox

The obsession began about two years ago. I, Mitch Carlson, was working at my crappy job at a movie theater. I was standing behind my computer at box office. Business was slow that night. I saw her as soon as she walked in. I thought she was a normal customer. But when I saw her go around the box office and talk to the manager. I was guessing she was one of my coworker.
She looked amazing. Shoulder length brown hair with blond highlights. She was a little shorter than me. Her face was pale and beautiful.
I knew that I needed to be with her.

About a week later it was summer break from school and I was working a lot more. They liked to work me a lot because I looked like a nice guy. I’m a tall skinny guy with short brown hair and I was a nice guy. I’m rather opposite of my stereotype because in public on my time I look like one of the people that fathers fear. I wear a lot of shirts from bands that are considered ‘satanic.’ But the costumers don’t see that so my managers don’t care.

About a week and a half into summer break was the first time I worked with her. For many hours we didn’t say a word to each other. I was too nervous but I don’t know what her excuse was.
That all suddenly changed with one costumer. My old algebra teacher came in. He was taking his child to a movie. “Hi Mitch,” he said to me. He then looked down to her. “Hi Kathy,” she said hi back. I sold him his tickets and he walked to his movie.
“So you had him for math?” I asked Kathy.
“Yea,” she said, “he was really weird.”
Our first conversation. I felt this happiness over come with ever word she spoke to me. I took in every word with magnificent attention but yet I still got lost in her sapphire eyes. I just wanted to be with her.

Later that night I was told that for my mom’s birthday we were going camping and I could bring one friend.
I called up my friend Craig. I met him in middle school. He went to Blaine High School and I went to Coon Rapids. Craig said he would go.

I requested the time off from work and the following week we were on our way to the camping sight.
Throughout the trip Craig and I talked a lot about music. We thought it would be cool to start our own band. I had recently started playing guitar. Craig has the outgoingness to be a vocalist.
I don’t know if Craig was serious but I was. When we got back I called one of my friends, Dan. We had jammed a couple of times before. I told him that a friend of mine and I were forming a band. I asked if he wanted to play guitar in it. He said yes.

Several days later we had our first official band practice. Craig couldn’t make if for some reason. Dan and I showed each other some things we know. We discussed what kind of music we were shooting for. We also played things we had written before. Then we ate pizza and proceeded to get very little done.
We did this just about every week for the rest of the summer. We would occasionally go to the movies. Just about every time I would have to point out Kathy because he kept forgetting who she was.
Not once that entire summer did Craig show up.
Also throughout the summer I socialized with Kathy a lot. I wanted to be with her so much. It came to the last month of the summer and I thought I was going to still be single.
Thought.
One night I was working with Kathy I knew that was going to be the night. Our registers were right next to each other. We were talking a lot.
“Mitch,” one of my managers said, “We have a trainee for you.”
In my mind my plans were ruined in a heartbeat. Ruined by a short red haired named Jenny. I thought it would be rude to ignore my trainee to advance my relationship status.
I spent the rest of my shift training her in. It was the strangest thing because she was kind of telling me her life story.
It came to the point where I had to leave. I changed out of my uniform and clocked out. Jenny was still working. When I walked by her on my way out and she handed me a folded up sheet of paper. I unfolded it. It said call me and had her number.

I didn’t want to but for some reason I called her the next night. It was an odd conversation cause she spent a lot of the time talking to her brother. Then later on she walked why I wasn’t talking.

The next day I opened with Kathy. We talked for several hours. That was the moment I knew all I wanted was her. That was also the moment that she stopped working for the day. Once again I was let down by my self.
“Hi Mitch,” said a voice behind me. I turned around to see Jenny.
“Hi,” I said. I felt something bad coming.
Right before I left she asked “Do you want to see a movie with my later?”
“Sure,” I said. I said it trying to be a friendly person.

She didn’t realize this because during the movie she was all over me. I tried to say no. But she just pushed to hard. I gave in. I regret it but I gave in. My immediate plans to go out with Kathy were now tarnished.

Jenny and I saw each other several times by the end of the summer. I didn’t really think the relationship was that good but I had no real reason to break it off.

Shortly after the school year started I decided to dye my hair black. The day after I did it Dan came over for practice. We sat around talking about random things.
The phone rang. My older brother picked it up. He entered my room with a cordless phone in hand. “So redhead,” he said, “You want to talk to the blackhead.”
He handed it to me.
“You dyed your hair black?” shouted Jenny.
“Yea,” I replied, “What’s the big deal?”
“You’re a hypocrite, that’s what.”
“Excuse me?” I questioned, “How am I a hypocrite?”
“You told me you would break up with me if I dyed my hair black.”
“You’re delirious,” I said, “I never said that.”
“Yes you did,” she said calmly. “But it’s okay. I still love you anyway.”
“Whatever.”
“What? Are you having a hard time expressing your emotions?”
“You could say that,” I said, knowing I was referring to totally different emotions than she was.
“Why? Is someone over?”
“Not that it would affect what I say, but yea. Dan is.”
Dan looked up at me.
“Can I talk to him real quick?”
“I guess,” I said looking at Dan. “She want’s to talk to you.”
“Okay,” he said puzzled. I handed the phone to him. “Hello,” he said. “Yea.” Pause. “I don’t know.” Another pause. “Okay.” He then looked at me. “She wants to talk to you.”
I grabbed the phone. “Hey,” I said, “What was that about?”
“Oh,” Jenny started, “nothing.”
“Okay. Well we’re trying to get stuff done so could I let you go?”
“Okay. Call me when Dan goes home.”
“No problem,” I said and hung up the phone. I then looked at Dan. “What was that about?”
“She asked me why I’m friends with you. And she said in a really bitch mood,” he said. “I don’t think she likes me.”
I chuckled at that. “I really question her. She chewed me out for dying my hair because she made up this bull story that I said I would break up with her if she did that.”
“Okay.”
“That and there are other things. She’s told me so many lies that some are contradicting others.”
“Really?” he asked.
“Yea,” I replied, “I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate it.”
We continued to practice till Dan had to go home. I never called Jenny back.

The next day at school I found out that one of my oldest friends, Jim had gotten a bass for his birthday. I told Dan. I found out they are in English together. I invited Jim to play in our band. I accepted right away.

The following day Jenny called me. It was just about the second I got home from school. For some reason I wasn’t in a good mood that day to begin with and her call didn’t make it much better.
We talked for about half an hour. Well actually she talked for about half an hour. I would occasionally have an upset comment in there and that’s it. I ended the conversation by saying I’ve got a lot of home work. We hung up.
Not even twenty seconds later the phone rang. “Hello,” I said.
“Do you want to break up with me?” Jenny asks from the other end of the line.
I sighed knowing I was about to make her very sad. “You know the truth hurts, right?” I asked.
“What’s that suppose to mean?” she asked rather stupidly.
“It means I don’t want to hurt you. But either I keep up the lie that I enjoy this relationship or you get hurt.” For the first time in any relationship I had just raised my voice.
“Okay,” she said with a sniffle.
“Please don’t cry,” I requested.
“I wont,” she said. “But I would like to know what did I do?”
“Well you’ve lied several times therefore lost my trust. Plus we have nothing in common.”
“Give me an example,” she asked me.
“Okay. You listen to Christian bands. I listen to hard rock. I hate Christian bands. You hate hard rock. That would also create a lot of conflict in the future sense I’m in a hard rock band.”
“Okay,” she said in a rather content tone. “I’m going to go now.”
“Bye,” I said. It was over. With that thought in mind I smiled. For the first time in a month I was happy.

The following Saturday I just happened to open with Jenny. Of course on first sight of me she bursted out in tears. She got way to attached to me. She then ran into the locker room where an employee and manager followed her in. They were curious why she was crying and wanted to comfort her.
“About five minutes later the employee came up to me. “So you broke up with her over music?”
First thought in my head: No way am I going to be the evil one in this. “No. I said it’s because we have nothing in common. She asked for an example and that was the first one that came to mind. There is much more than that.”
“Yea. Right.” the employee said and walked away.
“I don’t believe her,” I said to myself.

The weeks passed and nothing really major happened. Dan and I went to our first rock concert. That was fun. We also had our first band practice with Dan, Jim and me all together. Shortly after that Dan moved but not to far so he still went to my school and was in the band.
When Christmas break rolled around my job pushed me over so much that I turned in my two week notice. For some reason they pleaded with me to stay. I would have given them an ultimatum to either promote me, which they had claimed for a year they were going to do, or I walked. But I didn’t think they deserved the option.
For Christmas I got two pet anoles. They’re little lizards.

My last day was in the middle of January. It just so happened I was working with Kathy. I just felt like blurting out “Will you go out with me?” but I’m gutless and would never do that.
Throughout the night I counted down the minutes till someone came and counted down my drawer. When that happened I had what Kathy described as the biggest smile she had ever seen.
The last dollar was counted. My last second in that hell hole. My first second of complete freedom.

After picking up my last check I didn’t go back to that theater until the movie Hannibal came out. When that happened I found out some very odd news.
I was talking to one of my ex-coworkers and she said that Jenny was bitching a lot because they are making her do usher work when she was four months pregnant.
It didn’t surprise me the least that would happen to her. What surprised me was the amount of time she was pregnant. If she wasn’t lying about that she cheated on me. It happened in the middle of our relationship. And it couldn’t have been me cause I didn’t care to even come close to down there with her. She cheated on me.

A week later was Valentines day. One of the most lonely holidays for me. But this year it brought forth opportunity. Only I didn’t realize how much.
At my school we have these flowers you could buy and the school would send them a card that they turned in for the flowers. I decided to send one to Kathy.
When I was standing in line to buy the card one of my friends, Sally, came up to me. “What you doing?” she asked.
“Buying a flower,” I said.
“For who?” she asked.
“Her name is Kathy,” I said with a sigh.
“Would that be Kathy Levi?”
“Shut up,” I said with a smile.
“How do you know her?”
“One pink,” I told the person at the counter. “I worked with her.”
“That’s right,” Sally said. “I’ve known her sense the second grade.”
I was about to fill out the card but then I stopped. “Could you do this. My handwriting is a little obvious.”
“No problem,” she said, taking the card. “Mitch, you do know that she can recognize my handwriting too?”
“Yea,” I said.
“Don’t worry. If she asks I wont say anything.”
“Thanks,” I said. She filled it out and I turned it in.

Several days later I was at lunch standing around a few of my friends. One of them looked at me and said, “How is your relationship with Kathy?”
I thought for a second. I never told her. “Fine, I guess,” I said puzzled.
A few minutes later I went to Sally. “How did she find out I liked Kathy?”
“Oh,” she said with a giggle, “It came up in conversation once.”
“How many people know I like her?” I asked.
“Like who?” said someone from behind me.
“Kathy,” Sally said.
I kind of made a grunting noise.
“You should ask her out,” Sally said. “You guys would make a cute couple.” I looked down, feeling kind of miserable. “Listen, I’ll ask her what would happen if you did ask.”
“Okay,” I said abruptly.
The next day at lunch I was eager and yet very nervous. I couldn’t believe that I was about to find out if she would go out with me.
I saw Sally at lunch. She had a smile on her face. She said she asked but she wanted to toy around with me first. She mainly said, “You want to know,” then “Too bad.”
After about five minute Sally said, “Okay Mitch. I went up to Kathy and asked what she would say if you asked her out. Her response was ‘I would give the relationship a shot.’”
Amazingly large amount of relief and happiness filled my body. I wasn’t positive how to react. All I said was, “Thank you.”
“So,” Sally said, “When are you going to ask her out?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well I see her every day after third hour. Do you want me to have her meet you at my locker today?”
“I don’t know,” I said nervously.
“I’m going to. And don’t be nervous. You know she’s going to say yes.”
“Okay,” I replied.
“Oh, Mitch,” she started, “If you don’t show I’ll hunt you down.”
I laughed. “Okay. I’ll be there.”

And I was. I felt weird surrounded by all of Sally’s friends. Kathy hadn’t showed up when I arrived. When she did I felt my stomach turn. I couldn’t believe I was finally going to ask her out.
Kathy got there and we both smiled at each other. She knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. And Sally couldn’t wait for it to come so she yelled, “Mitch, I will hurt you.”
Kathy and I both laughed at that.
As I looked deep into her sapphire eyes I said, “Will you go out with me?”
“Yes,” Kathy said.
“Do you want me to walk you to your class?” I asked.
“Sure. It’s that way,” she said pointing to the left of us.
“Okay,” I said. We started walking. When we were far enough out of Sally’s hearing range I said, “Well that was awkward.”
We talked for a minute or two then she went into her class. I was unbelievably happy.

Over the next few days I met her at her locker between every class. We talked about various things. That made me really happy because al Jenny wanted to do was make out. I was going to try and take this relationship slower then the previous one. I felt that was one reason why I disliked Jenny so much.
Kathy schedule was rather busy between school, her job, and her music lessons. Most of the time when I called she wasn’t home.
The first time we went out we went to the Mall of America. I wore the nicest cloths I had for casual events. My Ibanez t-shirt and blue jeans. I didn’t have my wallet chain on. I was trying to make the best impression in case one of her parents answered the door. Kathy answered it though.
My parents drove us up to the mall. When we got there we started walking around. We spent a lot of time talking and barley any time shopping. Over the period of time we were there we ran into several people she knew and no one I did. Just goes to show how popular I am.
When we were there she took me into several stores where normally I cringe just by walking by them. She said that she wanted to introduce me to her parents and she wanted me to look nice. I didn’t buy anything but Kathy appreciated that I tried.
We later met up with my parents and went home. On our way back the light was shining in her eyes so, as a kind gesture, I lent Kathy my sunglasses. She accepted. My mom later said that I was being a gentleman by doing that.

Over the next few weeks we spent most of our passing time at school together. I called just about every night. Due to our hectic schedules we didn’t see each other much out of school. One Friday we went out and saw a movie.

About a week later for her band class she got to fly to New York for the weekend. For those three days I was rather miserable. Mainly because she was gone. Also in a week she was going to Florida for spring break. I was thinking about how depressed I would be then.
When she came back to school the following Monday I greeted her with a smile. “We talked for several hours that night. She did most of the talking but I didn’t mind because I was happy to hear her voice again.

I wanted to do something with her before she left for Florida. Mainly because I wont see her for a complete week and the day before she left was our one month.
We talked about doing things but we couldn’t because she had to work and on that Friday her family was finishing up their shopping for the trip. No one month anniversary for us.

That Friday I did invite Dan and Jim over for band practice. They came over and we tried random things. We tried doing a Deftones cover with me on vocals. My problem was I wasn’t loud enough. Other than that we sounded good. We also wrote about half a song. It was defiantly the most productive band practice to date.

Later that night I called Kathy to say good bye and have fun on her vacation. She told me to have a fun week. My response to her was I was going to miss her too much.

And I did. I missed her a lot. Over that week there was another band practice. I also bought my first car. Most of it I spent laying around wishing Kathy was next to me.
The last day was the worst though. Kathy got back the day before. It was Easter so she needed to spend it with her family and I was spending it with mine.
I spent two hours in a car with my parents on my way to my grandparent’s house. While there I just sat around talking with my cousins that I hadn’t seen sense Christmas. We stayed till a bit after lunch. We were there for about two hours. That was followed by another two hour car ride home.
When I got home I called Kathy. I knew hearing her voice would make the day a lot better.
Her dad picked up. “Hello?” he said.
“Hi,” I said, “Is Kathy there?”
“Yea. Hold on a minute.”
That minute felt like an eternity.
“Hello,” Kathy finally said.
“Hi,” I said felling better already.
“Hi Mitch.”
“How was your trip?”
“It was fun.” There was a pause. “Mitch. I was thinking during the trip, and I think we should break up.”
Crushing. Beaten. Lifeless. I felt all these emotions in a second. “Why?” I asked.
“Because I think my schedule is to chaotic right now to have a boyfriend. I just think it’s unfair on you for me being busy all the time.”
I my mind I didn’t care. If I just talked over the phone with her once a week I still would be content. Despite that feeling I said “Okay.”
We still talked for about twenty minutes. I didn’t speak much because I was rather depressed.
After I got off the phone I went up stairs to see if anyone was online that I could vent to. Dan was. I told him about it. When I was getting off line I told him I was going to go listen to some Stabbing Westward and avoid all sharp metal objects.
For the rest of the night I sat in my room listening to “Wither Blister Burn + Peal” and “Darkest Days.” When I went to feed my lizards I saw one laying there motionless. Just what I needed to end the most hellish day of my life with. A deceased anole.

The next morning I went to school and went to where my friends and I meet. I sat on the floor hanging my head down low.
Jim came up to me. “She broke up with you?” he asked.
I nodded. Never speaking a word, I sat there till I went to my first class.
Later at lunch I saw Sally. She asked how my break was. “Miserable,” I responded, “Very dull and boring. On Sunday I had to spend six hours around people I didn’t want to be around. Then When I got home I found out that Kathy wants to break up. And to top it all off one of my anoles died.” Sally lunged at me and gave me a huge hug. A huge hug of sympathy.

Days went by and I was still depressed. A week. Still in mourning over my lost relationship. A month. Still wondering why.

In May I got my drivers license. I also got a new job at a gift shop at the mall. I worked only a little bit the first week.
Several days after getting the job I came home from work and within a few minutes the door bell rang. I answered it to see a guy I know named Andy and someone I’ve never seen before in my life. Andy is only one of the most annoying people I know. “Hey,” he said.”
“Hello,” I said with a plain face.
“This is Mark,” Andy said pointing at the stranger. “He’s down here for the summer and he was looking for a band to sing in. I told him I knew some people who played together.”
“Okay,” I said.
“How’s it going?” Mark asked. “Your band wants to play metal, right?”
I nodded.
“That’s good,” he said. Mark then showed an example of his metal voice. It sounded like a mix between Cory Taylor of Slipknot and Matt Holt of Nothingface.
“That was good,” I said. We talked a bit more. I told him I would talk to Dan and Jim the next day at school.

The next day I asked them about Mark. They both thought it was a good idea to finally get a good singer and not have me.

Two days later Dan and I went to Mark’s house to our first practice. He had an old PA system. We wrote a little bit of stuff. I had some fun with it.

The next week I was at the mall looking around and I saw the new Stabbing Westward CD. I had a little extra cash so I picked it up. That night I listened to it. Then I listened to it again. And four more times. It was an amazing piece of art.
At the same time I hated it. I hated it because every time I listened to it, it brought back memories of that night Kathy broke up with me. The more and more I thought of it the more and more I hated myself for not trying harder to keep her. I only knew of one way to silence my self anger.

“Hi,” I said, “Is Kathy there?”
“No,” said a voice on the other end of the line, “Do you want me to take a message?”
“No thanks. I’ll call back later.”
I failed miserably. I wouldn’t call back. It was too hard. My ego was temporally shoot. Only I wasn’t sure for how long.

The summer came and I was working an unbelievable large amount. So much that on a weekly basis Mark would come out to the mall and bitch cause I didn’t have the time for the band. I didn’t care cause I was getting sick of him
I had a strange feeling that Dan and Jim were too. I talked to them about it. They were getting sick of him as well. But it didn’t sound like they hated him to my extent. They hated him for how he wanted to play music. I hated him cause he made me feel like shit. Every time I encountered him it brought me further and further down. It brought me down to the point where living seemed pointless.
Between lack of a girlfriend and not being with my friends much my social life was in hell. By me pondering about that too much also made me feel down and depressed most of the time. What toped it off was no one even noticed how close I was too ending it all.
I was just about ready when I was talking to Sally. She told me about someone she wanted to set me up with, Shae. She had just gotten out of a terrible relationship.
I felt weird being set up with someone I hadn’t ever seen before. I questioned good it would be. But either way I took it.
We went to the mall one day. We talked a lot. We mainly talked about our past relationships. It was rather fun and I was happy that someone was listening to me. I then had to take Shae home.

The next day I called Shae. She wanted to see me that night because the next day she was going up north. Turns out she had a cousin born when we were at the mall.

I went over that night not thinking much of it. When I entered her house I saw a room full of faces staring at me. A younger sister. An older sister. A mother. A father. I looked at all of them and said, “Hello.”
She grabbed my hand and we walked down stairs. We sat down in a couple of chairs in front of a TV. She put in one of her favorite movies and we started watching it.
About twenty minutes into the movie she asked if I wanted something to drink. I asked for water. She ran upstairs and got us each a glass. I slowly drank mine, as did she.
A little bit later she put some blankets on the floor. We both laid there on the blankets and cuddled.
When I was laying next to her I felt something. I felt a void being filled. I felt something I hadn’t felt in months. I felt happiness.
A little while later her dad needed to do something in that room. So we needed to leave. We went up stairs and talked some more.
Soon I had to leave. Shae walked me to my car. As we got there we hugged. “I’ll call you when I get home on Sunday,” she said.
“Okay,” I said.
We released each other from the hug. She looked deep into my eyes as I looked into her beautiful brown eyes. She moved her face to mine and we softly kissed. It had been just under a year sense I had felt a kiss. It had been even longer sense the last time I felt one with emotion behind it.
“Bye,” I said.
“Goodbye,” Shae said walking toward her house.
On my way home I was listening to Stabbing Westward. The song “Angle” in particular. For the first time ever while listening to that CD I didn’t feel depressed over Kathy. With that thought in mind I realized that from the two days with Shae I felt more happy then I could ever from Kathy. Shae was what I needed all that time.