Forget To Remember

Looking into those eyes fill me with happiness for the first time since god knows how long. At last I’ve gotten my revenge on this bastard. It’s not just my revenge but also for my loved ones as well. I continue to stare into those eyes, they don’t move anywhere, they just remain fixated on me, having just captured their final image. Blood starts to flow from the victim’s head. It brings me great pleasure to watch this gruesome sight. A smile comes to my face. I only wonder if this person knew I had it in me to take away their life. Why the hell not, didn’t they take mine, I’ve just taken theirs the easy way. Finally I am free…!

* * *

This was easily my favourite photograph of her. Whenever I stared into her face all my problems in work seemed to disappear instantly. Coming home every evening was like entering into a totally different world. Aggravating customers, irate employee’s and impatient Creditor’s all vanished under this roof. The picture was taken on our first weekend away together. We went mountain climbing that time. The weather had been terrible and we had our equipment stolen in the hostel we stayed in. It was around that time that my true feeling for Jill came out. I knew she was the only woman I wanted to be with in my life.

Jill was as usual pampering herself upstairs in the bathroom. Knowing her it would be some time before we were ready so I decided to pour myself another drink and relax. She always left things late but tonight was very special. She was not going to mess up this night. Not for anything in the world. Tonight was our first anniversary and I had reservations made at the new Cantonese Restaurant, which had just opened in the town. Its surroundings were said to be exquisite and I had received many positive reviews about its fabulous dishes, if a little pricey, from my associates at work. The cost of course ment nothing tonight. Yes, tonight was a night to remember. A land mark in our relationship.

The last twelve months were easily the best of my life and until I met my beautiful Jill, I was just a man who lived to work. A life, which revolves around work, is a very hard thing to escape from but is even harder to realise you’re slipping in to. You wake up and think about work, during the day you are focused on nothing else and on your return home all you can think of is what your job will bring tomorrow. Slowly you are digging yourself deeper into the ground, never being aware of the walls, which are keeping you away from people, from your loved ones. It is very sad to let your life develop into this routine and only on rare occasions is a person’s eyes opened to the fact of facing a life of loneliness.

* * *

My handgun lies on the ground beside HIM. I dropped it from the shock of shooting one for the first time. I must admit it felt good to know that my bullet had just torn its way through this person’s head and straight into their brain. The body now lies sprawled on the ground, with no movement at all. What if it’s still alive, it could still be alive, pretending to be dead. Just like in the movies. Waiting for me to leave the scene. Then they’d scheme a plot to get me back. I don’t want that to happen, NO, I WON’T LET IT HAPPEN. After all, there are still five bullets left in the chamber…!

* * *

My slap in the face was last Christmas. Work at the factory had halted for the festive season and I was alone in my apartment for two weeks. I had nobody to share the holiday with. My family and I never got along, I had left home at a young age and have never returned or heard from them. That Christmas opened up my eyes. Sure I talked to people in work but these were only acquaintances and nothing else, I would certainly not have classed them as friends.

It is difficult to get the momentum moving in your life again. I felt lucky in that I had a personal hobby of writing using you imagination to create a world where you were the boss and could call the shots always excited me. There were many book clubs around where one could meet new people and discuss their ideas. Your ideas did not have to be any good. All that mattered was that you showed up and tried to build relationships with people. It was in this club that I met my beautiful Jill.

* * *

“You’ve got some nerve showing your face back in this town after all our pain and suffering. I’ll never know what was going through your mind THAT night. You do realise that she never goes outside anymore, she never speaks to anybody. Eddy is gone forever and all we have left of a reminder is his teddy bear, nothing else. She never lets go of the damn thing. The doctors say they can do nothing for her, but then they don’t really care do they. She’s nothing to them but a name on a sheet of paper. That paper can be easily discarded but it’s not so easy for the rest of us. I honestly don’t know how you can live with yourself.”

“Oh, my God…Jamie. Hey, do you know how many people are looking for you, and that’s not including the police. How are you doing? Are you getting by all right? Where the hell have you been hiding”

“WHAT, what the hell do you care. It’s your entire fault. Do you hear me, it’s ALL YOUR FAULT.”

“Jamie listen to me. You’ve not been feeling like your old self these last few months. You’re very confused. Whatever you’ve been telling yourself, it’s all a lie. Just take my hand and come with me man. Trust me, please I’ll take care of you. Everything will be alright if you just come with me”

“You shut your mouth, I’m not going to listen to any more of your lies. You may have been able to trick her but you are not going to do the same to me. I’m too smart. Do you hear me? I’m not some little puppet under your command. I’m in total control and I’m gonna do something that should’ve been done a long time ago.”

“Hey wait, no, what are you doing, hey man just put the gun away. Oh come on I’m sure we can come to some agreement. Listen to me. You’re making a big mistake Jamie. You don’t understand what happened. The doctors are not concerned about her Jamie it’s YOU…! Please listen to me, PLEASE…”

* * *

I was the shy type when it came to meeting somebody new for the first time but I was delighted to see that she made to first move to talk to me. I was interested in her from the word go and the fact that she had a sixteen-year-old son didn’t put me off in the slightest. She was around the same age as myself. She never managed to get out much because of reasons like my own. I was amazed at how much we had in common and we got along superb. We went on a few dates together though her son, John, didn’t take to me very much. It seemed to me he was in the company of other teenagers who were leading him astray. John used abusive language to his mother and had threatened me on more than one occasion. I ignored it of course and continued to date his mother. After a while his behaviour had stopped and he left me alone much to my delight at the time. Jill had been worried I might not want to see her anymore but I assured her I still cared for her very much.

* * *

Where is he? He said he’d be here tonight. Or maybe, he ment tomorrow night. My mind has been so preoccupied with things I don’t really remember. Was I a fool to believe him? After all didn’t the two of them go to school together? Of course he wouldn’t lie. Francis hates his guts just as much as I do. He also wants his vengeance for what has happened. I assured him I’d take care of everything. All he had to do was tell me where I could find him.

Here I am at the bar. I don’t see anybody I recognise. Has it been that long since I was last in this part of the neighbourhood? The Hotel I’m in looks different tonight. Something about it doesn’t feel right. Why do I feel as though I’m a stranger here? I see groups of people on the far side of the counter looking over at me. They seem to have anxious looks on their faces. Could they know why I’m here tonight? No, how could they. Maybe Francis has let my secret out. No, Stop it. I must stop thinking like this.

What’s the time? Just approaching midnight. Oh to hell with this. He’s not coming tonight. I don’t know what I could do if I see him in here. I won’t be able to do MY JOB in this public place; it’s best to go outside and wait.

Why do I always feel so tired, I know it’s not just from of a lack of sleep, maybe I’m just tired with life? This pain I’m feeling every day will just not go away. It follows me everywhere. Trying to embed itself into my mind. That night, that unforgettable night. Why did it have to happen, why could I not do anything about it.

I should’ve been there for Eddy. It’s my entire fault it happened, I know it. It should never have happened. I could’ve stopped it if I tried, but, I did try, but was it my best…I, I don’t know.

My train of thought is broken by sound of footsteps. I look up to see a face, no, that face, which has tormented my life. The source of all my pain stands but a few yards away from my car. This is it. This is what I have been waiting for. Do I have it? yeah I have it. I can feel my heart beating faster, the adrenaline in my body. Altogether it has created a total sense of excitement, for I have a chance to put things right again, to stop him in his tracks. Yeah I know what to do. This bastard is gonna pay, I don’t care anymore.

“You’ve got some nerve showing your face back in this town after all the pain we have suffered.”

* * *

One of the times I’d like to forget was the time John’s School had telephoned the house. This was around the time I had first moved in with Jill. It was I who answered the call. The principle on the other end had asked me to call down to the office as John was in serious trouble.

When I went to the school I was told how John had been caught dealing drugs to other pupils. A student in the School had told his mother, whom happened to be a teacher in the building, he told her about how John would deal the drugs to kids during recess. John was immediately called into the office where he was interrogated until he confessed to the crime. Not only did the school expel him but he was also placed in a Detention Centre for 18 months.
This upset Jill pretty badly. She would visit him every week and bring him presents. I declined to go. I put on a brave face when she was around but deep inside I thought John was pure scum. She would come home to me and cry on my shoulder trying to tell me that he was truly sorry for the trouble he had caused but I knew he was just telling her what she wanted to hear. He was just using her for support and would be back to his usual behaviour once he was released.

* * *

“Hey there, listen I do know the guy you’re looking for?”

Francis hands me a picture of a boy in his late teens. I’d better compare it with my own to cross-examine them. Yes they are the same person without a doubt; my picture was taken some years back where as this new one looks recent, the man in it looks older, though I know his mind has not changed.

“And are you sure he still hangs around the town?”

“Definitely, one of my friends works in the Lodgement Hotel and she says he’s been drinking there on many occasions. Can I ask you a question? So like, when you catch up with him, what are you going to do?”

“Simple, I’m going to kill him. Why do you ask me such a question? Haven’t I told you what he did”

“Err, yeah, yeah you did. Don’t get me wrong, I agree with you totally on this. He did something to me some months ago. I’d rather not go into the details but I’d be willing to offer you money if you promised to keep your word. I’m truly glad of what you’re doing. I’m really like you. I want justice. For every action there should be an equal reaction. I’ve always known it was him but I couldn’t prove it and even to this day I can’t. So what if two guys have to bend the rules of justice to suit their needs. Somebody must pay.

“You don’t have to say another word. I can feel your pain. Keep the money. I don’t need it, besides this is something I’ll gladly do for free. Don’t worry I give you my word. I’m going to kill him”

“Thank You Jamie”

* * *

Jill called me in work one day to tell me that they were going to let out John. Apparently the lad had been performing very well in his studies and had even saved the life of another young man inside. His psychiatrist had written a glowing report on his progress in the last eight months and recommended that John be released.

She cried down the line to tell me how happy she was. Telling me how we were going to start again. Having a REAL family as she put it. I however didn’t share her views. At this stage Jill had been six months pregnant with our first child. For her, we were never a unit without John. I on the other hand believed we were stronger than ever. There was something about John that I never liked. Even before he’d gone to the Detention Centre. I could never explain why. I guess it’s just a feeling I had.

Maybe it was from the fact that I’d come from a wealthy background. I never loved my parents but they had provided me with my own trust fund, which I used to make wise investments. Jill had come from a lower end working class family. I was always sure John resented my comfortable life and compared it with his own struggle so he looked upon me as nothing more than a snob.

Jill sounded so happy to hear the news about John so I kept my feeling to myself and told her how pleased I was for the boy.


* * *

“Hello. Is this Francis I’m speaking to. Hi you probably don’t know me but that is beside the point. Let me tell you why I’ve called. I’m looking for a particular guy. I myself do not know any recent details about him but I have information which tells me you were very close to him in High School.”

“I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who is this? I don’t feel comfortable talking to somebody I don’t know on the telephone.”

“Sorry, my name is Mr. Willis.”

“…Jamie Willis”

“Yeah, you must know me then”

“Yeah I’ve heard of you alright. Listen I can’t really talk on the phone right now but if you want I could call over to your apartment and we could talk there, how’s that.”

“That would be fine. I’m staying in No.107 Willow Street, you know it. Hey, I should give you more details as to why I want to see you.”

“No, that won’t be necessary, besides I think I know why you’re calling me. All I’ll say is that I’m a big fan of yours.”

After our conversation my mind is very confused. What did he mean when he said fan? I had barely told him anything and he seemed very helpful. I can hear the sound of my doorbell and only thirteen minutes have surpassed. He seems very willing to speak to me but who am I to argue. He is the man who can help my complete MY JOB.


“Hello Francis, please come on in”

“Hey there, listen I do know the guy you’re looking for”


* * *

“Hey, baby I’m finished with the bathroom now. So now hurry up and get ready. This is an important night for us. I want to make it special, which means no excessive drinking. I’ll need you with plenty of energy for later on. John is away for the night and little Eddy could sleep through a nuclear bomb, which won’t be a bad thing considering the noise we’ll be making”

“God it’s about time. Ninety minutes, well I don’t believe it, a new record. Why can’t you be more like me? You bet your ass you won’t catch me in there for that long. Listen; call the babysitter to make sure she’s on her way. I’ll be ready in ten.”
“Oh Jamie, what were you doing with the photographs and why is the album book open. I’ve never known a guy to be so obsessive with pictures. No matter what I say to him he refuses to forget the past, neither the good or the bad”

* * *

Is this what my life has become? I don’t feel safe walking the streets anymore. I’ve yet to leave this house since the day I broke in. I’m now afraid to wander beyond these protective walls. I’m afraid of people’s faces. Why did they look at me like that? I’ve done nothing wrong. I am the innocent one in all this, yet I’m treated like an outcast. If I’m to no longer have a normal life than all I want is to find him while I still have a chance. I don’t know how this has happened but I’ve received a file, which could be of use to me. On the inside cover lies a telephone number and a name. Francis Turnshaw. Why does that name sound familiar? Judging from the accounts inside it this Francis person has suffered a similar pain as myself. His baby sister had been killed in a joyriding accident outside of her home. Eyewitness accounts said it had been a teenager, male, between the age of 15-19 behind the wheel. Nobody else had been seen in the car. I have no idea if this man can help me but this is what I have been sent. It’s kinda funny though, there are some newspaper articles missing. The dates on top take a big jump from June to September. I wonder why this is?

I guess I should be lucky I even have this information. I don’t recall how I received this contact. I simply found it along with the rest of the junk mail one-day. The envelope simply contained a cell phone number, which I dialled. A computerised voice told me to leave my name and a message. Two days later I received this file in an envelope. Anyway, I have to start my investigation somewhere.

“Hello. Is this Francis I’m speaking to. Hi, you probably don’t know me but that is beside the point. Let me tell you why I’ve called. I’m looking for a particular guy. I myself do not know any recent details about him but I have information which tells me you were very close to him in High School.”

* * *

“You said John was out for the night. You have any idea where he went?”

“I think he said he was going out to a party with that Francis chap, you know him, he always stays away come the weekend. I even gave him my car, sort of a bribe to keep him out of our way for sure. Let us not waste anymore time. Let’s go or we’re going to be late!”

“Listen, I just want to pop upstairs and give Eddie a kiss goodnight? Stay right here for two moments. I’ll also take a quick check on things.”

Jamie slowly walked up the stairs and headed for their bedroom. A loud noise of shattering glass could be heard, it was coming from Eddy’s bedroom. Quickly Jamie hastened his movement upon hearing the cries from his baby son. He opened the door to see that the window had now been smashed and a dark figure now stood beside the cot, containing the helpless frame of Eddie. The figure ignored the baby and made an approach for Jamie. Grabbing him by the neck the figure thrust Jamie out of the room and threw him down the stairs. Jamie smacked his head against the tiled floor on the hall.

He was still very much conscious but found himself unable to move. He could hear the screams from Jill who lay beside him clutching his head in her arms. He was unable to respond to her. He could not speak; his sight was simply an extreme blur. However his sense of smell remained. A striking aroma of kerosene filled his airwaves. Immediately he knew his family’s life was in danger. The cries from Eddy’s room filled Jamie’s eyes with tears. His son was begging for help and he could do nothing. Thick smoke was beginning to fill the hallway. Jamie could feel his wife leave his side. He prayed she would be able to save their baby. As long as Eddy was all right then things would be ok.

“WHY CAN’T I PROTECT MY SON? HE NEEDS MY HELP? WHY CAN’T I GIVE IT TO HIM? OH GOD PLEASE PROTECT HIM…PLEASE!


THE MISSING ARTICLES

JULY 15TH

TEEN LEFT FOR DEAD ON SIDE OF ROAD

The Turnshaw family were today coming to grips following the horrific death of their teenage daughter Jennifer (16), who was left for dead on Upper James St. following a hit and run. Her family believes her death was drug related, as they were well aware of her spiralling cocaine addiction. Police are performing door to door investigations in an attempt to establish some sort of lead in a case they described as “deeply disturbing.”


JULY 18TH

PARENTS LEFT DEVESTATED AT LOSS OF CHILD

Jill Simons and Jamie Willis were inconsolable at the funeral of their eleven-month-old baby boy Eddy. The infant was burned alive after a robbery in the home of the couple last Friday night. Jill escaped with minor first-degree burns; her partner Jamie was however left with severe Dementia, a memory disorder leaving him in an extreme confused state. Jill’s other son, John aged 18, was present at the funeral. He had not been inside the house on the night of the attack but Police spent the weekend questioning John in connection of his whereabouts. John Simons, a previously convicted drug dealer, is also being questioned on the death of Jennifer Turnshaw, killed in a hit and run on July 15th after eyewitness accounts had established an ongoing relationship between the two.


JULY 27TH

JOHN SIMONS CLEARED OF CHARGES

John Simons was today declared an innocent man by the state having been found not guilty on two counts of murder. The first count being the death of his stepbrother Eddy and the second, the death of Jennifer Turnshaw killed in a hit and run accident on the same night. The cases had been thrown out of court due to a lack of evidence. The brother of the young girl, Francis Turnshaw declared he would not rest until the responsible were brought to justice. Jamie Willis was not allowed attend the court case due to his mental condition.

AUGUST 30TH

JAMIE WILLIS ESCAPES FROM SECURE INSTITUNTIONAL UNIT

Jamie Willis, who suffered sever brain damage on the night of his son’s death has escaped from professional care. Doctors say he was in an emotional state from hearing the Jury’s verdict and still suffers from extreme memory loss and confusion. Such is his present condition it’s believed Jamie finds John Simons directly responsible for the events on the night of July 15th, which the recent court case has proven to be untrue. People are advised not to approach Willis in any way and to contact police right away.